


Together Apart

by Residual_Infatuations



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-10-27 11:47:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 51
Words: 67,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20759858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Residual_Infatuations/pseuds/Residual_Infatuations
Summary: In a night of heated passion Sesshomaru's beast mates Kagome, but Sesshomaru despises her & will do all that he can to make her life hell. Kagome refuses to take his abuse & makes the ultimate sacrifice. What will he do to get her back and settle the beast within? After 500 years will he be able to come to terms with his beasts actions?





	1. Like the wind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HHimori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HHimori/gifts).

Chapter 1: Like the wind.

I enjoyed coming to the Goshinboku. It was where I came to clear my head, and right now my mind was reeling. I'd caught Inuyasha with Kikyo... again. God, I was so stupid. How could I think that he'd ever stop loving her? That he was actually going to leave her. To think I was going to give myself to him tonight. I didn't realize I was crying until I noticed the small wet spots forming on my shirt. I reached up to touch my face. I felt my tears as the rolled won my cheeks in waves. Is this what I was doomed to? A life of misery and heartbreak. I laughed, it was bitter and strained. I stared at the patches of moonlight slipping through Goshinboku's leaves. Trying to forget the images of Inuyasha and Kikyo's body pressed up against one another, in heated passion. My heart wrenched in my chest. It's as though someone was squeezing it. A rustling in the forest pulled me out of my thoughts. I quickly grabbed my bow and arrows. Aiming it in the direction of the noise. My eyes met with deep pools of red.

I notched my arrow in my bow. "Come out," I commanded.

The mysterious creature stepped out into the moonlight. It was Sesshomaru. No, he was different. His amber orbs had now been filled with red. His fangs elongated protruding over his bottom lip. His claws had doubled in length as well. The markings on his cheeks had become jagged.

"Why do you cry miko?"

His voice was beast-like, yet it held a strange softness to it. I didn't let my guard down though. I kept my arrow pointed at him.

"Why have you come here Sesshomaru?"

I watched as he removed his armor setting it on the floor. For a wild beast, he was acting very tame.

"I have come for you miko."

I was taken aback. "M-me?"

"You can put your weapon down miko, I have no intention of harming you." He purred.

I slowly put my weapon down and in a flash, he had pinned me against the Goshinboku. He licked my cheek purring at the taste of my tears. My breathing became harder. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't fight him off, not like this. He pressed his lips to the shell of my ear.

"I wished to taste more than just your tears miko." He whispered.

My breath hitched in my throat. I could feel the blush spreading across my cheeks like wildfire. I felt a tingling sensation between my legs. He instantly inhaled my scent, growling in approval

"You are wanting miko." He growled.

He slid down to my thighs, trailing his claws down to my ankles. He pulled down my panties and my skirt discarding it to the side. I could fee his large hands sliding under my shirt. Caressing my large mounds, teasing my nipples. Causing my back to arch. A soft moan slipping past my lips. I felt his lips wrap around my bud. He suckled on my soft flesh. I dug my hands into his thick mane. I gripped and pulled as pleasure surged through me. I watched him back away, stripping away his clothing bearing his manhood to me. I watched as it twitched with need. Precum dripping from its tip. Seeing him like that set my body on fire. I'd never seen anything so beautiful. I licked my lips as I wondered what he would taste like. I couldn't think straight. My lust had completely taken over.

"You are mine!" He growled more fiercely this time.

He grabbed me by the hips, rubbing against me coating himself in my juices. I jumped up wrapping my legs around his waist. Its as if my body had a mind of its own. At this moment I didn't care that this was Inuyasha's brother. That he was the enemy. I wanted this. No, I needed this and I needed it now. He aligned his shaft with my core. In one quick thrust, he entered me causing me to cry out. I dug my nails into his back till the pain subsided. He pumped into me at an inhuman speed. My skin was on fire, I had never felt anything so amazing. To have my virginity taking in such a beast like way. Turned me on even more.

"Oh god, Sesshomaru!" I cried.

I could feel myself reaching my climax. I panted as I felt my walls tightening around his shaft. I came closer to cumming with each passing second. He grabbed a fistful of my hair, tilting my head to the side.

"YOU ARE MINE!"

He bit down onto my neck hard drawing blood. I went limp in his arms as I came. He held me close lapping up the blood. I could feel myself slipping out of consciousness. He nuzzled into the crook of my neck purring. My mate was the last thing I heard before passing out.

**N**

I stretched my limbs ignoring the soreness coming from both my neck and between my legs. I looked around the forest, my eyes landing on Sesshomaru's back. I grabbed my clothes, putting them on as quickly as I could. All whilst Sesshomaru said nothing. I couldn't blame him. He was most likely regretting bedding a human.

"Sesshomaru," I called softly.

He said nothing. he only continued to sit with his back to me. I reached out for him, but I was quickly met with an angry amber-eyed demon. He had grabbed me by the wrist. Squeezing it, he brought me to my knees.

"You're hurting me!"

"You are lucky that this is all I am doing!" He snarled "How dare you lay with me! A mere human!"

He threw me onto the ground, he was practically seething.

"YOUR BEAST CAME TO ME! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!"

"YOU'D BEST SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I REMOVE YOUR TONGUE HUMAN!" He screamed. "Do not think for a second that because my beast decided to rut you in a moment of heat, that you are something important. That mark on your neck means nothing." He all but spat.

My hand flew to my neck. The mark he had left there was burning. The same burning sensation surged through my veins. It made it difficult to breathe.

"I would kill you if it wouldn't result in my beast losing complete control. I am going to make every day of your life miserable you pathetic human. You will know nothing but pain."

With that, he left. He was gone, like the wind.


	2. Pathetic human

Chapter 2: _Pathetic human._

* * *

I had been in the onsen for hours scrubbing at my skin. Trying to remove her scent. I could still feel her hands on me. I felt so disgusting, forever violated at the hands of some human. I grabbed the bucket of water. Dumping the scalding water over my head, it stinging my rubbed raw skin. I had to get rid of it... this human smell. I staggered over to the bathroom mirror. Looking at my pitiful form. Oh how far I had fallen. I watched as my sullied skin healed. Those disgusting scenes played out in my mind, over and over. I was a prisoner in my own body. Forced to watch as my beast reveled in the pleasures of the flesh. For hours I sat locked way, watching, hearing her moans. Her pleasure filled face had been permanently etched into my mind. I couldn't rid myself of them. That wretched human touching me, kissing me. It made my stomach churn. Me, the lord of the western lands laid with a human. I could still feel her skin on my hands. Her moans flooded my ears, even though she was not here. She needed to pay. I wanted her blood on my claws as I ripped her flesh apart. Her blood spilling from my lips as I tore her throat out. To crush her still-beating heart in my hand, and watch as the light faded from her eyes. No, she had to know true pain. I would kill the rest of the pathetic humans she cared about, right in front of her. Torture them slowly as she watched. She would be the last to die. A slow and painful death it would be.

"**NO! You will not touch our mate!**"

I seethed. "OUR!? YOUR MATE! I wanted nothing to do with that pathetic human. You are WEAK for choosing her. You could have rutted anyone, anything, but you chose such a despicable creature."

**"No, you are the weak one. Weak for not admitting your true desires. She is strong, beautiful. Yet you shun her because she is a Ningen."**

"You are a blithering idiot. You are nothing but a useless mongrel. Admit my true desires!? I desire no one. Especially not a purposeless human. I AM NOT MY FATHER AND I NEVER WILL BE! He turned his back on his own and sacrificed his life. All for a pathetic human."

**"I am embarrassed to have a master such as yourself. You're nothing but a fool. Your judgment is clouded by your hatred of what your father did all those years ago."**

"The girl will die, and there will be nothing you can do to stop her fate."

I could feel the fury of my beast coming from deep within me, it rivaling my own.

**"I will not aid you in hurting her. If you try to lay a hand on our mate. You will spend the rest of your days wandering the world. Unable to change into your bestial form. You will be no different from a lesser demon."**

I snarled at my reflection. Would he really go so far?

"You have already disgraced me. You have taken my dignity. I have nothing else left to lose. Being rid of you would be a blessing."

**"You will regret this."**

I no longer felt his presence. He had gone back into his cage, where he belonged. She would die and by my hand alone. She was nothing important. An unsightly sore that had plagued the earth for too long. Nothing, but a mere pathetic human.


	3. And I was his prey

Chapter 3: And I was his prey.

I listened as the water fell from the roof of my hut. I needed something to focus on. Anything to take my mind off of what I had done. I watched as the rain came down heavy. Hoping it would wash away our scent... our sins. I was grateful that Inuyasha had stayed away longer than he usually did. I wasn't sure If I had completely gotten rid of Sesshomaru's scent. I had spent hours in the hot spring doing my best to cover it up with shampoo and body wash. I'd even gone as far to spray an unnecessary amount of perfume I'd brought back from me with my time. Anything not to get found out. I didn't know what I'd do if they found out. I'm sure they wouldn't look at me the same. I let myself be taken by the enemy, Inuyasha's brother. They would most likely hate me. I hated myself because I betrayed them, but I didn't hate what I did. Deep down I loved what he had done to me. Every second of every minute; I loved it. They way his claws raked against my skin. They way his large body covered my own. It was all so amazing, and then I had woken up from that beautiful dream. Into a disgusting nightmare. One half of him wanted me. While the other half wanted me dead. I shoved my face into my sleeping bag. What was I going to do?

"Kagome?"

I looked up and saw Sango standing before me. She was sopping wet. Her hand sitting on her round belly. I slipped out of my sleeping bag and grabbed some dry clothes out of my bag to help her change into them.

"Sango you shouldn't have come all this way by yourself. Especially not in your condition." I told her.

She smiled. "I know, I'll pop any day now, but we hadn't heard from you in so long. I got worried and came to check on you. Besides Miroku is on his way. Shippo is staying behind to watch the twins for us. I just couldn't wait to see you."

I lowered my head, laying down on her shoulder. "Thank you."

She tilted my head upward, looking me in the eyes. "Kagome what's wrong. You don't seem like yourself.

I put on the best fake smile. "Of course I am."

She looked at me strangely. She was searching my face for an ounce of dishonesty, and it seemed as though she had found it. She pushed my hair back, gliding her fingers over the bandage I'd placed over my neck. He eyes softened.

"Kagome is there something that you aren't telling me?"

I bit my lip, trying to calm my beating heart. "Please don't hate me," I whispered.

"I could never hate you Kagome. There's nothing you could do that could ever make me hate you. Just tell me what's wrong?" She reassured me.

I reached up to my neck, peeling off the bandage. I pushed my hair back showing her what was there. Her hands flew to her mouth, the shock evident in her eyes.

"Kagome did you and Inuyasha...?"

I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into palms. Almost hard enough to draw blood. I shook my head.

"No, it wasn't Inuyasha who did this," I whispered.

"I don't understand... Did someone force themselves on you!?"

I buried my face into my hands. My tears were flowing freely now. "No!" I felt her arms slip around me. Pulling me into a tight hug, resting my head on her bosom.

"It's alright if you gave yourself away to someone else Kagome. It was your choice to make. It does not make you a bad person. If you're worried about Inuyasha finding out I won't say anything. Besides, he didn't deserve you anyway." She said as she stroked my hair.

I gripped onto her kimono. Wondering if I should tell her or not. I had to, didn't I? She was my best friend, my sister. I couldn't lie to her. I sighed, letting go of her kimono. I sat up and looked her in the eyes.

"Sesshomaru," I said.

"Sesshomaru?" She said puzzled.

"I gave myself away to Sesshomaru."

It was so quiet I could hear my own blood rushing through my veins. She only stared at me and I could only do the same. I kept quiet waiting for her to respond. I was trembling afraid of what she would say next. Would she understand? Would she hate me? Would I be shunned as a traitor? A part of me wanted no, needed her to say something. While the other half just wanted to run and never look back. I could see so many emotions running wild in her eyes. They happened in phases. There was shock first, then came horror. Next was confusion, and what came next surprised me. It seemed like acceptance. Several minutes had passed, and she finally spoke.

"You're not very good at picking men are you?" She smiled.

It's like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. "You don't hate me?"

"I could never hate you Kagome. It took me a little while to digest it at first. Then I realized it's you, you're a good person who's never done anything wrong. If anyone is allowed to make mistakes, it'd be you, and you're your own person. You can make your own decisions. You have your reasons for what you did with Sesshomaru. I love you so I have to respect that. I understand and I'm sure Miroku would understand. If you choose to tell him. Although I'm positive that we could never let Inuyasha find out about You and Sesshomaru's relationship-"

"We don't have a relationship Sango. He hates me."

"Then why would he mate you?"

"It was his beast who chose to mate me not Sesshomaru. He wants nothing more than to separate my head from my shoulders. I-"

I felt an unbearable sensation coming from the mark. It was becoming more painful with each passing second. It was getting harder for me to breath. The pain traveled down my spine and spread throughout my limbs. All the way down to my toes and fingertips. It was unlike any pain I'd ever felt.

"MIKO!" I heard coming from outside of the hut. I knew that voice.

I quickly stood to my feet and rushed to the front door. I pushed Sango behind me, ignoring the pain. My heart almost stopped at what I saw. A bloody and battered Miroku laid at my feet. His blood mixing into the puddles of rain surrounding him. Sango pushed passed me, rushing to her husband's side. Her face was riddled with pain and horror, as her wet hair clung to her face. Everything was moving in slow motion. I watched as she dragged him inside the hut. The pain coming from the mark had intensified, bringing me to my knees. I looked up my eyes landing on Sesshomaru. There he stood soaking wet. So feral and seething with rage, poised to strike at any moment. His features had become so animalistic. He was a predator on the hunt, and I... was his prey.


	4. Tap, Tap, Tap...

Chapter 4: _Tap, Tap, Tap..._

* * *

He had a crazed look in his eyes. Almost unrecognizable, Miroku's blood-soaked his skin and hair. He stalked towards me. I grabbed my bow and arrows, quickly notching three in my bow. I let them fly, however, he dodged each of them with ease. I had to think quickly, my arrows weren't going to work. He lept at me, I put up a barrier at the last second. He banged his fists against it, but I stood strong despite the massive amount of pain I was in. Even though I wasn't sure how long I could keep it up for. I could see the hatred in his eyes.

He snarled at me. "You are going to die here today."

"I will not let you in here. Say whatever you'd like, you don't scare me Sesshomaru. I will protect them no matter what. Even if I die here today, I will take you with me."

He banged on the barrier once more. I sent a jolt of purification throughout the barrier burning his palms.

"AHH! You insolent wench. I am going to kill you, and everyone you have ever cared about!"

"Does that include Rin?"

He scowled at me. A look of pure hatred plastered on his face. My neck began to burn more. The right side of my body went numb. He had a frightening look on his face. A sickening smile sat on his lips.

"Do not speak her name. Once I am done with this village, I will take her back. She will no longer be raised by you pathetic humans." He spat.

"You will not go to the village." I tried my best to hide my fear.

"Are you going to stop me? You pathetic human? I can taste your fear from here. Would you be so brave as to leave the pregnant slayer and her dying husband alone? Perhaps I should go back the way the monk came, and pay a visit to his family. He smells of young children and the fox. You can stay here. I will bring back their heads on my sword."

"I will kill you if you lay a hand on them!"

"Oh? Then step out of your bubble so I may remove your tongue from your head. Come out now and I'll kill the slayer last, out of the goodness of my heart. Or perhaps I should sit here and wait for your precious half-breed to get here. Tell him of the night you and my beast shared." He spat. "Yes, that sounds much more pleasant. To watch him become filled with rage, and kill you himself. Then, I'll kill the rest of them. I can wait forever. Can you?"

He sat cross-legged just inches away from the barrier. That murderous look was still very evident in his eyes. I bit my lip turning my back to him. I rushed inside hoping Miroku was still alive. Sango was sobbing, cradling her bloody husband.

"Sango is he alive!?"

"Just barely." She said between sobs.

"Quick, lay him down on his back."

"Please Kagome, save him!"

I looked her in the eyes. "Sango I will save him no matter the cost. I promise you that."

I laid my hands on his body. A soft pink light emitting from them. The light encased his body. It was going to take hours to fully heal his wounds. Hopefully, Inuyasha wouldn't be back before then. I needed to focus on healing Miroku. This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me. I made this mess and I needed to fix it. I turned my head to look at him. He sat there, sword in hand. He gripped it tightly, his veins pulsating in his arm. The mark on my neck began to burn again making me wince in pain. He might as well had been taring into my throat with his teeth. That would have hurt less I could feel his hatred, the scorn. I would not falter. No amount of pain was going to stop me from saving my friend. I kept my hands on Miroku, and my eyes on Sesshomaru. Those eyes narrowed into slits never moving from me. He sat there knocking his sword against my barrier. That sound reminding me that he wasn't going to go away. Not until my blood had soaked his hands. That stupid sound resonating in my ears, it was haunting. All that flooded my ears was that sound. T_ap tap tap._


	5. There was nothing left.

Chapter 5: _There was nothing left._

* * *

Approximately six hours had passed by. My skin was coated in a sheen of sweat and I was on the verge of passing out. Pulling my hands away from Miroku's body, I looked him over making sure that his wounds had been fully healed. All he needed now was to rest. I stood slowly, instantly falling over.

"Kagome!"

I put my hand up. "I'm alright Sango. Just stay with Miroku. I'll be fine."

The amount of power I had used was starting to affect me. My muscles were sore and I could feel my chest beginning to tighten. It was getting more and more difficult for me to breathe. My vision had become slightly blurry. I was getting weaker by the second. Soon, I'd be running on sheer will power only. I clung to the wall using it to hold myself up. Shuffling out of the front door, I collapsed onto my knees. I looked up at Sesshomaru. He looked back at me, his murderess glare had been replaced with smugness.

"Continue on and you will die, Miko. I want you to be alive when I kill your loved ones."

"I meant what I said. You will not hurt them." I wheezed.

"I can not wait to rip your heart from your chest and watch as the life fades away from your eyes. To send you to the deepest pits of the underworld. I will take great pleasure knowing that you will know nothing, but an eternity of pain."

I laughed, it was bitter and dry. "I will drag you straight to hell with me you pompous dog."

I expected him to lunge at me, but instead, he grinned that frightening smile again. Raising his head to sniff the air. "He's here."

"He?" My eyes darted over to the thicket of trees. "Inuyasha."

"Oi! What the hell is going on here?" Inuyasha drew his sword. "The hell are you doing here Sesshomaru!?"

He leisurely leaned back on his arm. "Tell him why I am here Miko. Or would you prefer I tell him of your crimes?"

"Crimes? Kagome what is he talking about?"

My eyes darted back and forth between the two. I swallowed the lump in my throat. My heart raced, it felt as though it would burst at any given moment.

"Inuyasha, listen to me. I need you to stay away from Sesshomaru-"

"Since you have chosen to omit the truth. I shall speak the truth for you. Listen here half breed. Your precious Miko willingly let my beast take her in the middle of a forest. She spread her legs like some cheap whore and reveled in the pleasure my beast made her feel. She screamed my name as she reached her climax, and I have no doubt she would let my beast take her again. Especially since he has mated her."

"Inuyasha do not listen to him! He's trying to get in your head. He just wants to make you angry, so that you will lose control."

Inuyasha face was plastered with pure shock. "Then he's lying right?"

"Inuyasha I-"

"IS HE LYING!?"

I hung my head in shame. "No," I whispered.

Sesshomaru's plan had worked. Inuyasha was losing control before my very eyes. His demon blood was taking over. His fangs and claws lengthened. A single jagged magenta stripe sat on eat cheek. Deep red had seeped into his eyes. Our eyes met, I was staring into the eyes of an animal. Inuyasha was gone. Only the beast had been left behind. I could feel his anger rolling off of him in waves. He ran too fast for my eyes to follow. He had leaped into the air swinging the Tessaiga down onto Sesshomaru, who blocked the strike with ease.

Sesshomaru scowled. "Oh, how you have fallen half-breed."

Inuyasha growled at him, pushing down with brute force. Causing the ground to crack underneath of Sesshomaru. He threw him aside with ease, knocking him onto the ground. Sesshomaru jumped into the air landing on top or Inuyasha, standing on both his arms. Restricting his movement, he drove his Tokin into Inuyasha's stomach. He coughed up blood as a result. Sesshomaru materialized his poison whip, Slashing at Inuyasha's chest. Blood staining the ground with each lash. He cried out in pain thrashing wildly below Sesshomaru. He had managed to throw Sesshomaru off. I had to do something. Sesshomaru was only toying with him. He was going to kill him and soon if I didn't intervene. I wracked my brain trying to find something, anything to stop this. Then, I'd found what I was looking for. I bit back my tears, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I grabbed my bow with what little strength I had left, notching an arrow. I took deep breaths trying to calm myself. I set my eyes on my target.

"Forgive me," I whispered letting the arrow fly.

It soared through the air, piercing Inuyasha's shoulder. Pinning him to the tree behind him. His eyes were filled with hurt and confusion. I watched as the red faded from his eyes and his lids fluttered shut.

"Seems as though history has repeated itself. No matter, I will simply kill him while he sleeps." Sesshomaru raised his sword trying to strike Inuyasha but was repelled by the arrows holy power. "Clever aren't you Miko? Eventually, you will have to come out. Your pathetic little life will end here." He said sheathing his sword.

I bit the inside of my cheek. He was right. I was going to die here if I didn't do something about it, and then it hit me.

"You call me pathetic, but the pathetic one here is you Sesshomaru. Here you are obsessed with killing me. Does a lord have nothing better to do with his than pester a _pathetic human? _Or are you so alone that you're thankful I came along? Everyone always leaves you no? Your mother, your father and even Rin. Your life is pathetic and lonely. You roam these lands searching for something, anything to make that lonesome feeling leave"

He took a few steps toward me. "You know nothing!" He growled.

I smiled inwardly, take the bait. I said to myself.

"Don't I Sesshomaru_?_"

He went to strike the barrier with his claws. I had only one chance to pull this off. I let the barrier drop for a split second. Letting his hand pass through, his claws digging into my shoulder. That brief look of victory in his eyes made this moment all the sweeter because he had no clue what was about to happen. I put the barrier back up severing his arm. The look of horror in his eyes gave me great satisfaction. To know that I could cause him so much pain. I slumped against the hut, tearing his arm out of my shoulder and tossed it to the side. I looked down at the great Lord of the west. Hunched over on the ground, clutching his stump writhing in pain. I looked over at my shoulder. His claws had cut me deep. My blood had already soaked my shirt, running down my arms dripping from my fingertips. I couldn't heal myself, I needed to conserve whatever energy that I had left for. He managed to stand on his feet, still clutching his bleeding stump. The color had drained from his face. Demon or not, losing that amount of blood was dangerous. He walked towards me, dragging his feet. He made sure not to touch the barrier this time.

"I am going to rip the slayer's unborn child from her womb and let her watch as I rip it limb from limb and feed it to her husband." His voice was laced with venom.

My breath hitched in my throat. I fingered the jewel hanging around my neck. I didn't want to use its power. I wasn't sure if I could control it but I couldn't let him harm them. It was me or them... in the end, I would always choose them. I clasped my hands around the jewel siphoning its holy power. I could feel it flowing through me. Enveloping me in its power... so overwhelming, so warm, so powerful. I wouldn't last too long in this state. I stood, phasing through the barrier. He stood there, drawing Tokijin from its sheath. Poising himself to strike, he lunged at me. He swung the Tokijin, I ducked wrapping my hand around his throat. He screamed in pain kicking me away. The smell of burning flesh flooded my nose. I rose to my feet, my chest heaving heavily. I didn't have much time left. My body was capable of housing this much power. I looked up at him, the skin around his neck had blistered and charred. He tried to speak, but his word was replaced with spewing blood. I charged at him, but I wasn't quick enough. It's as though time had slowed down. I looked down at my stomach. Tokijin had pierced through me. I looked back up at Sesshomaru. I coughed up some blood. It splattering all over him. He grinned, the look in his eyes said that he thought he'd won. I glanced over his shoulder, Sango stood there, tears in her eyes. I couldn't give up so easily. They were counting on me. I built up as much holy power I could in the palm of my hand. Driving my hand into his chest. His beating heart sat in my hand. He drove the Tokijin further into me. It seemed as though he wasn't going to give up either. I could feel myself slipping away.

"NOO."

The roar snapped me back into reality. Blood red orbs clashed with my own. Sesshomaru's beast had surfaced.

"You must kill him, now!."

A moment ago I was ready to end his life. Now here I was staring into the eyes of his beast, and I couldn't do it. Killing Sesshomaru would be killing him too. I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. My friends needed me to protect them, but could I take his life as well? At a point in time, demons were our sworn enemies... but the times were different, weren't they?

I shook my head. "I can't do it. You will die too. You don't deserve to die for what he's done."

He grabbed my arm shoving it deeper inside his chest. "Look at me, Miko. All of this is my fault. If I had never crossed your path in the forest that night. We would not be in this situation right now." His voice while still, beast-like was hoarse and tired. I looked into his eyes, what I saw shocked me. Tears, they were rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably.

"It is either you or us Miko. I will not be able to bear it if you die."

"And that is simply why I can not do it. You're a beast yet you have more humanity than your master." I pulled my hand out of his chest.

"Are you daft woman!? You and your friends will die!"

"There is another way. There is always another way." I urged.

"Miko I am I cannot overpower him for long you must kill us now. Make haste!"

I gave him a soft smile. "If I have to go I'm taking you with me."

I looked over his shoulder at Sango once more. Mouthing the words goodbye my sister. She shook her wildly from side to side. Banging on the barrier. She screamed for me to let her out, but this was for the best. My heart wrenched in my chest at the thought of leaving them. I grabbed the jewel, clutching it tightly in my hands. I had held onto this long enough. It was time to make my wish. I shut my eyes pleading for the jewel to hear my cry for help. I opened them once again. It hovered in front of my face. Emitting a blinding white light. The holy power crackled on my skin. Sesshomaru was thrown back leaving his sword within me. His screams of pain were distant. The light enveloped us both, swallowing me up. I heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing... there was nothing left.


	6. You!

Chapter 6: _You!_

* * *

_Wake up, my child. You have rested long enough. It is time for you to wake up..._

I stretched my limbs feeling around me. I was surrounded by softness and warmth. I opened my eyes, seeing that I was enveloped in darkness. The sounds of a car horn blaring flooded my ears. I shot up my eyes wide. I was chocking. My hands flew to my mouth, pulling a tube out of my throat. I coughed a few times, sucking in some much-needed air. I scanned the room anxiously as my heart threatened to burst in my chest. An annoying beeping sound assaulted my senses. The fight in the clearing with Sesshomaru flooded my mind. How in the hell did I get here? I felt a sting in my arm. I looked down, there was an I.V sitting in it. I pulled it out tossing it to the side. I was hooked up to countless machines. I ripped the wires from my body. The room I was in was one that wasn't familiar. This bed, these clothes. Just where was I? I rubbed the silk material of the sheets between my fingers. I slipped out of the bed. Taking a few moments to steady my shaky legs. I traipsed over to the window, pulling the curtain back, and peering outside. I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing. It was Tokyo, the place I'd left behind for the feudal era... it was my home, but it wasn't at the same time. I walked over to the bedroom door pulling it open. Poking my head into the hallway, making sure the coast was clear. I slipped out, taking quiet steps down the hallway. Not sure if I was alone. The hall opened up into a beautiful loft space. The walls were made of dark brown brick, the furniture lavish. Maroon tassels adorned the walls. Deep gold granite tiles sat on the floor. An entire wall was made of windows, letting you see the beautiful view. My head was spinning, why was I here? I heard a door open behind me. I spun around standing face to face with someone, I thought I would never see again in my lifetime.

"Mama? Is that really you?"

"Kagome you're awake!"

I was too shocked to cry. She bawled uncontrollably, pulling me into a tight hug. She pulled away looking at me. Utter disbelief played out on her face. I studied the lines on her face. She had aged. Her hair was no longer chocolate brown, but salt and pepper tressed framed her face just how long had I been gone?

"Mama, you look so-"

"Old? I am fifty my dear." she finished for me. "Besides, seven years would do that you. " she smiled.

My heart almost stopped. "Seven years?" I whispered.

"Come, it's best you sit down dear." She pulled me into the living room, gesturing for me to sit down; which I did. "It was seven years ago. We were packing, getting ready for the move. I sent Souta to go fetch buyo. He had run off into the well-house again. He said that he didn't want to go in alone. Souta's been afraid of it since the day you were pulled in. So, I decided to go inside instead. I had found buyo, but he refused to come with me. He just continued to meow and scratch at the well. I was curious to see what could have caused him to act that way. I pushed off the well-cap and grabbed a flashlight from the shelf, and when I shined the light down into the well, and there you were unconscious. Covered in dirt and grime, lying next to a sword covered in blood. You were so pale, almost dead. I called 119 as quickly as I could, and they took you to the hospital. I just-" She buried her faced in her hands and bawled.

I hugged her back. "Shh mama, it's okay. I'm here now."

She sat up wiping away her tears. "I just never thought you'd wake up again. I thought... I thought I'd lost my daughter all over again."

"You don't have to be sad anymore."

She caressed my cheek. Letting out a sigh of relief.

"However did you come back?"

I sighed, getting ready to explain the entire terrible ordeal.

**N**

She just sat there eyes wide, her hands cupped over her mouth. Trying to swallow all of what she'd just heard. She pulled her hands away from her mouth, swallowing hard. She took my hands in her own, cradling them.

"I, am so sorry that you had to go through that. To leave your friends behind knowing you'd never see them again. That is never something someone should have to endure."

"Mmm." I looked down at my feet." I've missed out on so much. Seven years is a long time. Time wasted that I will never get back."

She tilted my chin upward, looking me in the eyes. "I will tell you anything you want to know."

"Everything. I want you to tell me everything."

She cleared her throat. 'Well, long story short. Grandpa passed away about four years ago. His passing was hard on Souta, we sent him away to boarding school, and I have remarried. He is a wonderful man Kagome. He came along when I really needed someone. I honestly don't know where I'd be without him. I can not wait for you to meet him. He's the one who thought it'd be better for you to be moved home. That it would make you more comfortable. The doctors said that you'd never wake up, but he refused to believe it, and now, here you are." She smiled from ear to ear. "It doesn't matter how much time has passed because we can make up for it now."

I shook my head, giving her a soft smile.

"One last thing. Whatever did you wish for?"

"I wished for the jewel to fix it. All of it, but I guess it wasn't a selfless wish. So the seven years I'd lost. Were most likely a consequence."

"I see. Well, go wash up. I'll make dinner and Introduce you to him tonight."

"Yes, mama."

_I wondered what this man would be like._

****N****

I can't remember the last time I'd had a real shower. I needed it desperately. While I wasn't dirty in the physical sense. I felt as though the scalding water had cleansed my soul somehow. My friends were safe. Even if it meant that I would never get to see them again. It was all worth it. I was back with my family; Given a second chance to live my life the way I should have. I turned off the running water, stepping out of the bathtub. I caught a glimpse of my reflection. I looked my body over in the full-length mirror. Trying my best to ignore the scar that Tokijin had left behind. The water had caused my skin to become flushed. Water droplets fell from my lashes. I didn't have the body of an eighteen-year-old anymore. I had the body of a twenty-five-year-old woman now. My hips had widened, breasts that had become fuller, along with full lips. I'd grown at least two inches as well. I'd become a woman and I wasn't even awake to witness it. My hair had grown as well. It reached my thighs, clinging to my wet skin. I pushed it out of my face, awwing at how the rest of my features has changed. Doing so, something else had managed to catch my eye. My neck still bore that fucking mark. I bit down on my lip drawing blood. I let go of my hair letting it fall around me. Just what did the jewel do? Everything was different now. No matter, I'd have to make the best of it. I wrapped myself in a towel. Leaving the bathroom, I walked into the room that I had slept in for the past seven years. A dress had already been laid out for me. I dried my skin, slipping into it. It was a simple white gown; appropriate for a modern dinner. The bedroom door was opened.

"Kagome come out dear. There's someone I'd like to meet."

"I'm coming."

I followed her out into the hallway, and into the dining area. There was a man standing by the window. His back was turned to us. He must have been her new husband. He was tall and well built. A grey head of hair sat on a thick neck and broad shoulders. He wore a black suit, and by the looks of it, it was very expensive. He turned around looking me dead in the eyes.

"It's nice to see you again Kagome."

My eyes went wide.

"You!"


	7. Even if it was just for a moment.

Chapter 7: _Even if it was just for a moment._

* * *

I couldn't believe my eyes. Of all the people that I would possibly see in this time. He was not one of them. I looked over at my mother. Her face riddled with the confusion that rivaled my own. Moments had passed before she broke the awkward silence between us.

"I'm sorry, you two know each other?"

"Unfortunately, I do happen to know who he is."

He gave me a sly grin. "You don't seem so happy to see me Kagome."

"Considering that this is the most I've seen of you. Since all, you have ever done in the past. Was tuck your tail between your legs and run away." I grimaced at him. "Isn't that right Myoga?"

He smiled, his eyes squinting; showing his crows feet. "My love, would you please give us a moment? I promise to explain everything to you later." He said whilst touching her arm. She nodded, giving me a confused glance before leaving the room. He put his hands up in a defensive manner.

"Now Kagome, before you get angry. Let me explain."

"Why should I? Days before the final battle against Naraku. You said you had to find Totosai. To break the curse that Tsubaki had placed on you. Which kept you in that ridiculous flea form. You'd promised things would be different that time. Yet, you never came back. Not once!. Not even to see if we had survived. I don't know why I bothered to put my faith in you to think that you'd actually come back, and now you've managed to slither your way into my mothers' bed."

"No, that is where you are wrong Kagome. I did come back. While it may have been too late, I still came back, and as for your mother Kagome. I fell in love with her. That is why I mated her, and no other reason."

"You're damn right it was too late! Your curse had been broken all that time. If you were there to help me, I wouldn't have had to make the sacrifice I did! We could have used your help. I needed your help Myoga, and you weren't there. Oh, you love her, do you!? Liar, you don't love anyone but yourself. You said you loved us, but you still left us. Just to save your own skin."

"No! I cared for all of you; you especially. I kept my distance, but since the day you were born I watched over you. Making sure to keep you safe. Using every connection that I had to keep you hidden from him. I surrounded your house with charms and talismans. That would keep any demon out. I even went as far to have my subordinates follow you and your family when you left your home. To make sure they kept you hidden with cloaking spells. Sesshomaru could have been standing next to you, and would never have known. New charms had been placed around the building when you were moved here." He let out a long sigh. "Every birthday, your first day of school. Your father's death. I saw it all. Even that day you were pulled into the well. I so desperately wanted to stop that from happening. To spare you all the pain you would have to face, but I knew there would have been great consequences for meddling with your destiny. I waited until the day you were sent back. That's when I'd gotten close to your mother. She seemed so sad. Your condition and the hospital bills were starting to take a toll on her. It bothered me to see her that way. I helped her as much as she would let me. Eventually, I found myself falling for her, and the rest was history."

I could feel my heart-wrenching in my chest all over again. So much had happened and I'd missed it. Second chance or not, I would never get those years back. All those years had passed, but in my mind, I'd said goodbye to them only yesterday. I buried my face in my palms as the painful memories swarmed my mind. I missed them and the anger I'd been holding onto since the day he had left had resurfaced. I looked up as I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I know all too well what you had to sacrifice to save them. I am sorry Kagome. I truly mean that. I was a coward and only had my best interest back then. I am truly, deeply sorry for deserting you. All of you. Know this Kagome, because of what you did for them, they lived long and happy lives. Their children had children, and those children had children. Their families even have descendants that still live on today. I assure you they all missed you greatly. Shippo, Rin, Sango, Miroku, the lot of them. Mourning the loss of their greatest friend. Inuyasha as well. He took you leaving the hardest out of everyone. Even though he tried his best not to show it, but we all knew. He roamed all of Japan after the monk and the slayer had died. Dragging Kikyo along until her clay body could no longer go on and crumbled to dust. He had pushed shippo away long before Kikyo died. I kept a close eye on him even though he would never let me physically get close to him. Losing everyone else pushed him over the edge. In the end, he died old and alone. It was on the night of his transition. His human side had succumbed to old age. He'd fallen asleep at the base of a tree and never woke again. I carried him home, burying him at the base of Goshinboku. Hoping that he had found some sort of peace in the afterlife."

I took it in, all of it. My heart filling with sadness. He had died all alone. No one to hold his hand as he left this world. No matter how many times he had broken my heart. I could never bring myself to hate him. Nor to wish him any ill will. I wouldn't wish what happened to him onto anyone. Not even my worst enemy. I twiddled my thumbs as my worst enemy came into mind.

"What about _him_?"

"I came across him once. About two hundred and fifty years after Inuyasha had passed. He had slaughtered the town where the castle of the west once stood. He looked like a feral creature. The image of him standing there drenched in the blood of those he'd slain, will forever be etched into my mind. Piles of dead bodies surrounded him. Limbs scattered about. He demanded the people tell him what happened to his castle and of the Shikon Miko, but no one knew what he spoke of. They couldn't provide him with the answers he'd wanted. So they paid with their lives. Also, his arm had been severed-"

"Was the wound recent?"

"Yes, I could tell it was a fresh wound. He looked as though he was on the verge of death."

"Did he have a sword with him?"

"No. At least none that I saw."

My mind was reeling. Did the jewel send him further into the future? Far enough that he'd be away from my friends, but not into modern-day society in his condition. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to make sense of it all. This entire timeline was starting to give me a headache.

"Do you know where he is?"

His face became stern. "Do you want to see him again Kagome? From what the slayer had told me, he was very cross with you."

I could hear the concern in his voice. "I don't want to seek him out Myoga. I just want to know where he is. So that I never run into him. If I know where he is. I will know to avoid going there. "

"Is that really why Kagome? Or do you wish to see if he has changed?"

I shot up, placing my hands on my hips. "What are you insinuating!?"

"Perhaps you want to see if he's no longer that malicious demon that you once knew. To see if he's succumbed to his beasts feelings. I assure you Kagome he has not changed at all. He is the same demon that you remember."

"As I said, I do not wish to seek him out. Besides, I'm not a child anymore Myoga. You do not need to treat me as if I am one."

"Kagome I have lived for millennia. You will always be a child to me. A child whom I will protect. Whether you may like it or not." He clasped his hands in his lap. "You have to stay away from him Kagome."

I sat back down. "I know that, but Is there something you aren't telling me? You're pushing this awfully hard."

"He has been searching for you this entire time Kagome. He had come very close to getting his hands on you once. At the very hospital where you'd been. That's why I suggested to your mother that you be moved somewhere else. If we have moved you here one day later, he would have had you."

"How am I supposed to live my life. Take advantage of the second chance that I've been given if he's out there scouring all of Japan for me?"

"With this?"

He held up a ring, a ruby stone sitting in the middle. I took it from him, rubbing my thumb over the stone. I could feel the magic residing in it. It was intense for such a small object.

"Where did you get this?"

"Over my many years, I've collected many things."

"Why not just have one of your people make a charm?"

"None of them could make a charm as powerful as this one. I never knew one of them would come in handy. It will disguise you, and hide your scent. That should keep you safe from him. As long as you're okay with living out the rest of your days as someone else."

I leaned back into the chair, dragging my hand over my face. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life in hiding."

"What choice do you have Kagome? He's become a very powerful man. He is the most feared demon of today. He has eyes everywhere. You could take one step out of this building as yourself and he'd know where you are in a matter of minutes. If he finds you he could even go after your mother and even your brother. You'd be putting yourself in the same situation you ran from so long ago He will not stop until he kills you Kagome. You have to understand that."

I stood up walking towards my bedroom. "Tell my mother I'm not hungry," I called over my shoulder.

"There's a gift in your closet." He called back.

I shut the door behind me. Slumping down towards the floor. Is this what the jewel really wanted. Me, doomed to spend the rest of my life on the run from Sesshomaru. Hiding in plain sight, to live this new life as someone else. I let out a deep sigh, running my fingers through my hair. Sliding my fingers down to my neck feeling the mark. Hundreds of years looking for me, all because of one night. I looked at the ring, slipping in on my finger. I waited for something to happen, but nothing came. I didn't feel any different. I stood up walking over to the mirror gasping once I saw my reflection. It was a completely different person staring back at me. The person in the mirror had shoulder-length hair that resembled flames. Persian colored eyes. She had a much smaller frame. Not to mention her chest was flat as a board. I looked like an adolescent who had yet to hit puberty. I slipped out of the white dress, putting on something much more comfortable. Shoving my feet into a pair of sandals and grabbing a backpack out of the closet. This must have been the gift he was talking about. Putting on the big yellow pack, I felt nostalgic. I cracked open my bedroom door, sticking my head out. Myoga and my mother were seated at the dining table. No doubt he had explained to her how we knew each other. I tiptoed down the hallway to the front door. Hopefully slipping out unnoticed. I ran towards the elevator, pressing the button an unnecessary amount of times. I slipped in, barely giving the doors enough time to open. I needed to get away from all of this. Even if it was just for a moment.


	8. She was here. I could feel it

Chapter 8: She was here. I could feel it

* * *

Half a millennia. That is how long I had been dealing with his insufferable cavil. Incessant mewls for his lost mate. He had kept his promise of making me regret my actions that day in the clearing. For half a millennia I'd been unable to bed another. Having to deal with the excruciating pain during my heat cycles. Doomed to feel my cock swell in my pants anytime I was filled with need. Only to have it ruined by him and his unbearable groans of sorrow. Killing any desire that I'd had to rut. Unable to turn into my true form and run wild like the beast I truly was. Half a millennia I'd been trapped in this humanoid shell, with access to only half of my power. Unable to, how the humans say "let loose.". I'd found another way to past the time. Which only turned out to be a temporary solution. I began slaying countless villages. A great release for my pent up rage. I decimated them all leaving nothing behind. As if they were never there, to begin with. Never allowing them to make it into the history books. However, that was shortlived. He soon opposed my methods of coping. He said his mate would object to such cruel actions. That innocent people didn't deserve such fates.

Of course, I did not care for such trivial matters, but his nonstop screams at night coming from within me nearly drove me to the brink of madness. Next, I channeled my anger into something better, something more useful. Conquering the humans business world. Making my way to the top which had been an easy task. They're an inferior species that were in need of a leader. Their economy was plummetting till I came along. Hell, this country had been on the brink of collapse. They would be nothing if it was not for my leadership. Now I control it all. From Kyushu to Hokkaido and everything in between. Every store and every building, they all belonged to me. It mattered not who owned them. They belonged to me because I owned these humans. Most feared me, whilst others respected me. They pledged their loyalty to me. Knowing it was in their best interest not to go against me. Nothing could happen that I would not know about. Or so I'd thought. Half a millennia I'd been unable to find her.

I'd caught wind of her the day she was born and had gotten hold of the address to her childhood home. I drove there without a second thought, but I was unable to enter. Her home had been spelled shut. No doubt to keep my kind out. I had never seen anyone leave the home not once. For days I had waited outside of that dingy shrine, but nothing. No sounds of children playing, not even the chirping of birds could be heard. There was magic afoot, and strong magic at that. She was there, I knew she was. I could feel it. She was in my reach yet so far. Any leads to her were all dead ends. Until I'd picked up something seven years ago. I'd gotten a tip that she had been at a hospital, but upon getting there the room was empty. Her scent was everywhere. It flooded the room. So strong that I had smelled it even before stepping foot into the building. My senses were being assaulted by her. My beast banged against its cage. Roaring for me to find her, but there was nothing. I had failed once again. That is as close as I'd ever gotten.

Someone had been keeping her from me and when I found out who it was. They would pay dearly. For twenty-something odd years, I was looking for that cursed Miko, and I would not stop till I found her. Anything to stop his wailing. Even if it meant seeing the wench who'd bested me in battle and sullied me. Half a millennia she plagued my thoughts. She was all I could think about. He would allow me to think of nothing else. The touch of her skin. Her scent; the feel of her tresses running through my fingers. Her lips against my own. Every time I shut my eyes. I was back in the forest with her. Our bodies wrapped up in one another. I could still taste her sweat on my tongue. It's as though I'd only taken her yesterday. It burned me to see her face on constant replay in my mind. It annoyed me to feel what he felt for her when I would unconsciously let my guard down. Fate just would not let me be. I clenched my jaw, gripping the table hard enough that I'd managed to break a rather large piece of it.

"Mr. Taisho?"

The voice pulled me from my thoughts. I looked up to see Mr. Ookami looking back at me. There was a hint of uneasiness in his eyes. An uneasiness which had every right to be there. I had almost lost control in a room full of my subordinates. I had allowed my mind to wander too deeply down memory lane. I stood exhaling deeply. I walked over to the rubbish bin. Tossing the now ruined piece of wood into the garbage.

"This meeting is adjourned. It will be resumed a week from today, and make sure someone sees to it that this table is replaced."

"Yes, sir." They'd all said in unison.

As if on cue they all began to scurry. Not wanting to be left in a room alone with me. All but one.

"Is there something you need Mr. Ookami?"

He walked over, standing beside me. Looking over Tokyo.

"You went somewhere just now. Care to tell me what happened?"

"What happened is none of your business wolf."

"You were thinking of her weren't you?"

I felt a pang in the pit of my stomach. He had gotten better at reading me.

He sighed. "You've got to let go Sesshomaru. If she's out there. You need to let her be."

"It is difficult to forget what your inner self will not allow you too."

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. I remember coming across him so many centuries ago. He'd managed to somehow track me down. Apparently, he had come to avenge his beloved Miko, who I'd snatched away from him. We had fought many times. He never once came close to victory. Yet he continued on. Earning my respect after about three hundred years of useless battle. He had realized he was never going to win. So, he stayed close to me. In hopes that if I found the Miko he would get to her first. He said he knew she was alive and that was all that mattered. However, along the way, he had managed to become my... dare I say, friend?

"Or, it's difficult to forget what you do not want to."

I snarled. "What are you insinuating wolf?"

"A beast and its master are one. Two halves of one whole. One half wants her, while the other wants nothing but to be rid of her. One half is in denial, while the other is true to their feelings."

"You'd best watch your tongue wolf. Choose your next words carefully."

He sighed, shaking his head. "If you truly do not want this. You could get rid of him you know. For good."

"I will not seal him away. I refuse to throw away my birthright because of his complaining."

"It has been centuries Sesshomaru. This is more than a little complaining and you know it."

I clenched my fist in my pockets, knowing that he was indeed correct.

"You're going to have to deal with this one way or the other Sesshomaru. It is just a matter of time." He said as he left the room.

For the first time, in a long time, I was wrong and it irritated me. I had no other choice but to continue my search for the Miko. That was the only option in my eyes. I turned away from the window, walking towards the door. Instantly doubling over, feeling a pang in my chest. Its as though the wind had been knocked out of me. His mewls had ceased. Turning into howls. The sudden emptiness that I had felt so many years ago was finally being filled. She was here. I could feel it.


	9. He better have kept his word.

Chapter 9: He better have kept his word.

* * *

I closed the door behind me. Leaning against it. The bastard was too stubborn to admit how he was really feeling. It must be a family trait. He wasn't going to stop looking for her. I knew that much. He wouldn't kill her. He wouldn't risk his sanity like that. I let out a deep sigh, dragging my hand across my face. This had all gotten so complicated. A loud thud that came from the other side of the door, pulling me from my thoughts, I swung the door open, to find Sesshomaru hunched over on the floor. I ran over, stooping down next to him.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I can feel it." he wheezed.

"Feel it? Feel what? Sesshomaru you aren't making any sense."

He grabbed me by the front of my shirt, pulling me closer. Looking me dead in the eyes. One blood-red, while the other was amber.

"The Miko, she is here."

**"We must find my mate!"**

They were both fighting for control. Neither of them seemed to be giving up.

"How do you know?"

"The mark! **it calls out to us!"**

I had never seen him like this. So disheveled, he was unraveling right before my very eyes. He grabbed two fistfuls of his hair. I grabbed his hands just before he could pull his hair out. He was covered in sweat and wheezing uncontrollably. I stood up and backed away from him. If I left him here, he would probably die. It would all be over if I did. Kagome would be safe. I balled up my fists at my side.. I couldn't do it. He's wasn't the same as he was back then. This wasn't the monster we use to know. This was my friend. I wrapped my hand around his waist and put his around my shoulders. I lifted him, walking him over to the door. He coughed, blood splattering on the floor. I had to get him out here, and I had to do it now.

* * *

I had managed to get him out of the building. I had to sneak him out through the staircase into the parking lot. We'd been driving for about forty-five minutes. He didn't speak. He only pointed to let me know which way to go. I glanced over at him. He didn't look as though he was getting any better. He'd gotten much paler than before. His eyes had gone back to normal though.

"Is it telling you where to go? The mark I mean."

"Hn." Is all he managed to say.

He pointed to the right. The streets were beginning to look familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. That is until I saw the shrine steps.

"She's here!"

He nearly tore off my car door, trying to get out. As if wasn't dying just a moment ago. He'd shot out of my car and up the shrine steps. I banged my head against the wheel.

"Myoga better have kept his word."


	10. Fate just wouldn't let me be.

Chapter 10: Fate just wouldn't let me be.

* * *

I'd finally made my way out of the apartment building, which had taken forever. The building was insanely high, and living on the top floor didn't help much. It was a warm summer day. Demons and humans alike walked the streets with one another. Some even holding hands. The two species finally coexisting peacefully. It warmed my heart. I don't remember ever coming to this part of Tokyo. I wasn't sure how to get to the shrine from here. I took the pack off of my back. Zipping it open, there was a wallet inside. With a sticky note that read _'For Kagome'. _I guess Myoga knew me better than I'd thought he did. I tore off the note, opening the wallet. It was filled with credit cards.

"I guess money won't be a problem."

I spotted a flower shop at the end of the block. I took out a card, putting the wallet back in the bag. I jogged to the end of the block. Reaching the flower shop. I pushed the glass door open. A ding going off as I did.

"May I help you, ma'am"

"Hojo?"

"Not to be rude, but do I know you?"

I mentally slapped myself. I was wearing the ring Myoga had given me. He wouldn't recognize me.

"Sorry, a friend of mine would talk about you often. She'd show me her class photos. I was just surprised to run into someone she went to high school with. I didn't know this was your shop."

"Who might your friend be?"

"Kagome Higurashi."

He grinned from ear to ear, but the look in his eyes held so much sadness. "I see, It's been so long since I last saw her."

"How long has it been?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I would say about three years."

"Do you mind if I ask why?"

"Well, ever since I found out about her accident. I used to visit her every day after school. For fours years. I never missed a day. Even when her mother would say I didn't need to. I just couldn't stay away. I would talk to her, hold her hand, and even play her favorite songs. Anything that I thought would help her to wake up, but I just couldn't keep doing it. It hurt to see her laying there. The thought of here never waking up again was too much for me."

"Why? Why would you do that for her?" I whispered.

He gave a sad smile. "Wouldn't go above and beyond for the person you love?"

Why was I so oblivious? Why didn't I realize his feelings sooner? All those times he'd bring me gifts for my fake illnesses. I was such an idiot. I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. He laughed, but it sounded so sad.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you sad."

"No, it's quite alright. It's just that, that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

"I'm glad someone thinks so. I just wish I could see her again."

"Well, maybe you could."

He laughed, but it was strained. "Seeing that she is in a coma I don't think I could."

I had to give him this closure. I owed him that much. For all those years of not paying closer attention.

"She's awake Hojo."

He's stopped, looking at me. Eyes wide and face plastered with astonishment.

"W-when?"

I could see the relief wash over him, practically feel it. It gave me a little peace of mind.

"Yesterday. I could tell her that you would like to see her."

He grabbed my hands and bowed. "Yes! Thank you so much."

He rushed over to his counter. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. He scribbled something down on it and handed it to me. It was his name and number.

I smiled. "I promise that she'll get this."

"Please, if you ever need anything, let me know if there is anything I could do for you."

"Actually there is, could I have two dozen spider lilies?"

He nodded, fetching the flowers. He tied the stems with red ribbons. Gently wrapping them in the paper. Then the plastic next, holding them out to me.

"Please take these as a token of my appreciation.

"Oh no, I couldn't. Please let me pay for them. I have the money."

He only shook his head and continued to hold them out to me. I smiled, knowing that he wasn't going to change his mind. I took them from him bowing as well.

"Thank you, Hojo."

"No, thank you. I'm sorry what was your name?"

I paused, giving it some thought. "Sango. My name is Sango, and Kagome will stop by soon. I promise."

I left the shop. Happy with the fact that I had made someone happy. Even if it was only one person. So far, that was a start. I flagged down a cab, getting in.

"Where to ma'am?"

"Higurashi Shrine please."

****N****

I had climbed the neverending stairs to the shrine, but I had been standing in the same spot for about ten minutes. Reveling in all the memories I'd made here over the years. I learned how to ride a bike here. My first birthday party was here. The well that connected me to my friends was here. I walked towards the Goshinboku, placing my hand on its bark. I sighed placing the flowers at the base of the tree. I said a prayer for him, apologizing as well. For everything that I had done. Whether it was not listening to him when he asked. For what I'd done with Sesshomaru and most Importantly, for not being there for him when he needed someone the most. He wasn't perfect but I had loved him; He was my friend. I tried my best to hold back my tears but no avail. They came rushing down my face like waterfalls. My heart ached; I had left them, I had left him. He must have been so scared, so lonely. I dropped to my knees, wishing that there was something I could have done for him. He must have hated me for leaving him. I couldn't blame him, but it had to be done, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"WHERE IS SHE!?"

I swore my heart had stopped at that moment. I knew that voice. I turned my head slowly, making eye contact with amber orbs. I peered through my bangs. Staring at him. The wild look on his face, and eyes that were usually void of emotion were now full of life, so frantic looking. He stood slightly hunched over. Sweat covered his body. His hair spilled wildly over his shoulders. I tried so hard to get away from him. Yet, here he stood before me. His yokai surrounded us. It was overwhelming, almost stifling me. His power had only grown these past few centuries. There was no doubt in my mind that if I was to fight him now, I would surely lose.

"I SAID WHERE IS SHE!?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Trying to calm my beating heart.

"There is no one here but me." I all but whispered.

"LIES! I CAN FEEL HER! SHE IS HERE SOMEWHERE!"

He ran up to the house kicking the front door in. I could hear him tearing apart the inside of the house. I stood, getting ready to run.

"YOU!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Fear running throughout me. I heard his footsteps coming towards me. I could feel my heart rate picking up. I could feel his breath on the nape of my neck. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Slowly turning around, not daring to look him in the eyes. He was so close. I could smell the sweat on him.

"I am going to ask you this once wench. You best not lie."

I nodded.

"Did a woman come this? She would've had dark hair, brown eyes, mid-twenties." His breathing so raggedly.

"I'm sorry, but I have not seen a woman here with that description."

He sniffed the air. Trying to scent a lie no doubt. I hoped it would work since I had technically tole the truth. He pulled away from me. Clenching his fists. I watched as the blood dripped from his hands.

"Another dead end." I heard him say.

This was so foreign to me. This wasn't the bloodthirsty demon that I remember. I watched as he became undone before my very eyes. He slumped against a tree, sliding to the ground, resting his head on his forearms. What was this I was feeling? I couldn't feel bad for him. Whatever he was going through he undoubtedly deserved it, because he was a monster. Wasn't he? I quietly walked around him, heading towards the shrine steps.

**"When will it end?"**

I stopped, looking over my shoulder. I knew who that was. I turned around quickly walking towards him. I kneeled in front of him.

"Are you alright?"

He looked up at me, but I wasn't met with those familiar amber orbs. Instead, I saw glossy eyes flooded with red.

**"I will never find her,"** he whispered.

His beast-like voice sent shivers down my spine.

**"My mate,"** he whispered. **"I'll never find her."** He said hanging his head low once more.

He was unconscious. I shot up to my feet. I had to go. I turned on my heel heading for the stairs. Not looking back this time. Unfortunately, something managed to get in my way once again.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?"

Fate just wouldn't let me be.


	11. This wasn't over

Chapter 11: _This wasn't over_

* * *

My past just seemed to follow me wherever I went. I looked at him, harder than I ever had before. Taking in his appearance. He looked the same, yet so different. His hair, which he wore down now. It was thick and flowed down his back. He had aged, not much but just enough for me to notice. That fur pelt I had been so used to seeing, had been replaced by a suit, and his tail was nowhere in sight. He wasn't the knucklehead that had laid his claim on me. He had matured into a man. However, what I couldn't understand. Why on earth was he here with Sesshomaru?

"I want to leave. Please get out of my way."

I tried to step around him, but he continued to block my path, grabbing my arm.

"Do you know a woman by the name of Kagome?"

I snatched my arm away from him. "I do not know who that is." I lied.

"You must have seen her come through here. This is her family's shrine. She is who my friend was looking for."

I stared at him, my eyes wide. "Your friend?"

"I apologize for him if he has done anything rash. He is not in the right state of mind right now."

I swallowed, hard. "Get out of my way."

He still refused to move. I pressed my palm to his chest, sending a jolt of purification into him. Not enough to kill him, but just enough to let him know I was serious. He was stunned, dropping to his knees. He looked up at me, struggling to catch his breath. The shock was evident on his face. I tried to run past him but again, he got in my way.

"You are a Miko."

I backed away from him. "Do not touch me again."

He stood slowly, with his hands raised. "I promise I will not touch you again, but please, I need your help. You're a Miko you can heal him."

"Why are you helping him?"

"He is my friend."

"No, why are you helping him look for her!?"

"So you do know where she is."

"Answer my question!"

"About an hour and a half ago, he'd said that he felt something calling out to him. The mark he had placed on her when they'd mated. That mark led him here. It dam near killed him. I just don't want him to die"

My breath hitched. This stupid mark had led him straight to me.

"Your friend is unconscious."

"Damn it."

He ran up the steps past, and again, my curiosity had gotten the better of me. I followed him, making sure to keep my distance. I watched him as he sat by Sesshomaru's side. Trying to wake him. He laid him flat out on the ground. Checking to see if he was still alive.

"You're supposed to be Kagome's friend. Why are you helping him?"

"I'm sure Kagome has told you things about him, and they're true, but that isn't who he is anymore. He has changed. I know better than anyone. I've been by his side for a while now. He isn't the same person she knew back then. Please, just help him and I will tell you whatever it is that you want to know."

I hesitated, once again I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Faced with the dilemma of letting him die and what I believed to be right. He must have noticed my hesitation.

"You're a Miko aren't you? All life is sacred right? No matter the sin of someone's past. I was once a monster too. I had slain countless humans, whether it was for food or for pure sport. Kagome knew what I had done. She had the choice of saving me or letting me die. She chose to save me. She saved me even though she knew what I had done. She didn't let me die. So, I am begging you. Do not let him die."

I bit the inside of my cheek he was right.

"Carry him into the house and hurry."

I watched him throw Sesshomaru over his shoulder, carrying him inside. I followed suit avoiding the broken pieces of the door laying on the floor. Kouga laid him flat out on the living room floor. I went over to his side. Sitting on my knees, I placed my hands on his body. The power I had felt coming from him only minutes ago, had now subsided. His clothes were damp, and he was so cold. I looked him over. He was a pale sickly color. Dried blood sat on the corner of his mouth. He looked so... helpless, fragile even. The complete opposite of what I was accustomed to. My hands emitted a pink light, that enveloped his entire body.

"How did you end up with him?" I asked without looking at him.

"It is a long story." he'd said.

"We have time." I pushed.

He exhaled deeply. "I still remember that day. When I'd found out what happened between Kagome and Sesshomaru. I remember running for a day and a half nonstop to the village where they lived. I had planned on beating Sesshomaru's brother senseless. For letting something like that happen. After getting there, they'd had explained to me what had happened. She was gone and she wasn't coming back. It devastated me. That made me forget why I had been angry in the first place. Kagome was gone and it had been Sesshomaru's fault. He had tried to kill the people she cared about; tried to kill her. It enraged me. I promised myself that I would avenge her. I searched for him day and night, high and low. I'd left everything that I knew behind. I was willing to do whatever it took to find him. It had taken me a few years, but I'd finally found out where he was. I fought him every single chance that I had. For three hundred years, continuous senseless battle. That is how much anger I had let fester inside me. He'd taken the woman that I loved. In more ways than one. I realized I would never beat him. So, I stayed close to him. Hoping that if I stuck with him. I would find Kagome before he could. I don't know how it happened but the more time we spent together. We unintentionally became closer. We confided in one another. We were from a different time and things were changing quickly. Old men like us, with these new age demons. We had to conform to modern-day society, but it was easy because we were together. That pushed us closer more than anything. Throughout that time I noticed him changing. Whether he wanted to admit it or not. It wasn't a complete 360, but it was something. It was a start. There was a soft side underneath that thick layer of ice. We're family." He chuckled. "Not that he would ever admit it."

"Family," I said the word out loud. Trying to wrap my mind around the fact that the two had become so close.

He chuckled. "Sometimes I don't believe it either."

After listening to his story I wasn't as angry. This was his friend, his family. Regardless of how I felt.

Again, I had been completely oblivious. I never knew he cared for me that much. I had always assumed that his claim on me was just to spite Inuyasha. He'd spent so much time trying to avenge me. I looked down at Sesshomaru. He seemed to be doing better. He wasn't as pale, and his breathing had evened out. I wondered, had he really changed. Or had he changed towards everyone, and his feelings towards me stayed the same. He could still be holding onto all that hatred. There was still a chance that he wanted to wipe me from existence. I sighed pulling my hands away from him.

"He should be fine now. He just needs to rest."

He nodded. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

I gave a soft smile. "You didn't give me much choice. Especially not after that speech."

"How is she?"

I looked at him unsure of what to say. Not wanting to slip up and give anything away.

"Last I heard she was doing alright."

I snapped my head in his direction "The last that you heard?"

He smiled at me, looking back down at Sesshomaru.

I stood dusting my clothes off. "I should be going."

I looked down feeling something on my ankle. My heart began to pound in my chest, once I saw what it was. It was Sesshomaru's hand. I would have purified him, but his eyes had fluttered shut, and he'd fallen back into unconsciousness seconds later. When did he wake up? Had he been listening to the entire time? Or did he catch the end of the conversation? I let out a breath I didn't know that I was holding in. I looked over at Kouga.

"You should go, and.. tell Kagome I said hello."

I ran out of the house and down the shrine steps. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I didn't bother trying to get a cab. I ran back the way that the cab had come. I had been running for so long that my clothes were soaked with sweat, and it was starting to burn my eyes. I kept on, not wanting to stop. The muscles in my legs ached. Screaming for me to stop, my lungs burning for air. I ran on for another twenty minutes until I reached the apartment building. I ran into the lobby and practically threw myself into the elevator. Slamming my finger onto the penthouse button. I sunk to the ground. Sucking in some much-needed air. It seemed like an eternity passed before I'd reached the top floor. I used the rail to pull myself up. I wobbled over to the front door and rang the doorbell uncontrollably. Seconds passed before Myoga opened the door.

"Back so soon-"

I put my hand up, sinking back down to the floor. He stepped out, closing the door behind him. Seeing that I was serious.

"What is wrong?"

I looked up at him. "Does Kouga know about me?"

He raised his brow. "You've been a busy body today haven't you?"

"This is no time for jokes Myoga. Does he know?"

He sighed. "He knows only what I've told him. Which isn't much. Considering the last time he saw you, was five years ago. While you were asleep in a hospital bed. He only helped with delaying Sesshomaru from getting there. That is all."

"You didn't think that that would have been some information that I needed to know?"

"I never assumed you would see him again so no."

"He is so close to Sesshomaru. How could that possibly seem like a good idea?"

"They may be close but he wouldn't want anything to happen to you. He took the risk of helping me to get you out."

"I know that I'm just-"

"You're afraid," he said.

"Worried, not afraid. What you did was reckless."

He crossed his arms. "How so?"

"Were you planning on your inside man bringing Sesshomaru straight to me."

I could see that he was surprised.

"Kouga told me the mark had been calling out to Sesshomaru. That it led him to me. That he almost died because the pull was so strong."

"Almost? So he is still alive."

"Yes, almost. Kouga convinced me to heal him."

"Convinced. I see. So, you saved him once again."

I put my hands on my hips. "What are you getting at Myoga?"

"A mark would not call out to someone. If the bearer did not wish it."

I pressed my lips into a tight line. "I did not wish anything."

"Not consciously. He may have been on your mind and you might not have realized."

"I only thought about him once. While I prayed for Inuyasha."

"In that emotional state. Apparently, once is all it took. Your soul was crying out to be consoled. The soul yours was bound to, heard your cries and it came. Tell me Kagome, Why didn't you kill him that day? You would have been rid of all of your problems If you had."

I swallowed. "His beast didn't deserve to die because of what he'd done."

"You think he has good in him."

"I never said that."

He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "You didn't have to."

"You think part of him is worth saving, no?"

"Well, yes-."

"A beast and its master are one Kagome. They cannot be separated. You cannot save one without saving the other. You have to remember that. However, I meant what I said. You still need to stay away from him. You can't be sure of what he'll do."

"Kouga said he has changed."

He quirked a brow. "Do you truly believe that, or do you want it to be true?"

"You are putting words in my mouth again."

He grabbed my hand pulling off the ring, in one swift motion.

"This is confiscated until further notice."

"You're confining me to this house?"

"Yes. You are to stay here. You're too headstrong. Something I'm sure you picked up from Inuyasha."

"I am not a child Myoga. You need to stop treating me as if I am."

"Well, I love you as if you were my own. So come," he said holding the door open.

I stood up, using the wall for support. Grabbing my pack I walked inside. I was going to leave this conversation alone for now, but I wasn't going to stay here, like some caged bird. This wasn't over.


	12. I always am.

Chapter 12: I always am.

* * *

I stared at the ring, holding between my fingers. I and Kagome's conversation was on my mind. Never once had it crossed my mind that Kouga would bring Sesshomaru straight to her. I understood why he'd done what he had. He feared for Sesshomaru's life, and he brought him to her. His fear caused him to act without thinking. He had risked Kagome's life without even realizing it. Years ago he'd made me promise him that I would keep Kagome safe. Yet he had done the opposite. What would he have done if Sesshomaru had found her there, without this ring? I would have left this country if not for Kagome's Condition, and there was not a hope in hell that she would leave now. At least not willingly. Things had become so complicated. I never expected that trying to keep her safe, would be this difficult. I looked beside me, feeling the warmth on my cheek.

She looked into my eyes. "Something is bothering you. I can tell."

If I had told her it was nothing. She would surely push until she got her answer. No matter how long it would have taken.

"I wish to keep Kagome safe. I want to make up for letting her down, back then when she needed me most."

She propped herself up onto her elbow, looking at me strangely.

"What is it that you're trying to protect her from what exactly?"

"The outside world. It is a cruel place." I said, partly lying.

I hated lying to her, but she had spent enough time worrying herself. Whether it be about bills, Kagome, souta and much more. I didn't want to do anything that would bring those feelings back.

"The outside world?" she questioned.

"She doesn't know about the dangers that lurk out there. How close they are." I said, a specific demon in mind. "I wasn't as willing to do so much back then but I am so much more willing and capable now. I could protect her from it all. Only if she would let me."

She laced her fingers with my own. "Myoga, It warms my heart that you care for her so much. It really does, but you're being too extreme. She has lost people who meant the world to her. Along with seven years of her life. Keeping her here will do more harm than good. Regardless of how much you wish to protect her. She needs to be free Myoga. She has lost enough. You cannot take anymore. Especially not the second chance she has been given."

I looked into her chocolate orbs. Deep down I knew she was right. I was trying to stifle her without even realizing it.

"It is so difficult."

"I know how you feel. I was so afraid that day I'd found her in the well-house. Her blood soaking my clothes as I held her. I could feel her going limp in my arms. I wanted nothing more than to shelter her forever, but I realized that I was given another chance. To see her live, laugh, love, and make mistakes. To be herself. To live the way she wanted to. A life unburdened by destiny. I do not want her to get hurt either, but that is a part of life."

I sighed. "No wonder I never had children of my own. What a handful they are."

She laughed. "You need to let her go. I won't let her be locked up." She said softly.

I chuckled. "I figured as much. You're right."

She slipped under the comforter. Laying down, cuddling up to me.

"I always am."


	13. things had spun out of my control.

Chapter 13: _things had spun out of my control._

* * *

I was bedridden, but this was not a physical ailment. As much as I hated to admit it, it was my pride that had been hurt. Two entire days. That is how long I had spent confined to this house, to this bed. I was so pitiful that I need to be saved by a human Miko. Was this the Gods way of playing some cruel joke? I should have never been so weak that I, a great Inudaiyokai needed to be taken care of. I exhaled sitting up. I was unable to move, to speak. I'd only been able to open my eyes at the last moment. Catching a glimpse of the redheaded woman with blue eyes. Only to fall unconscious once more. There had been something else eating at me. The wolf knew much more than he had let on. I laid there, listening to his and the humans' conversation. He knew that she was alive. He could have spared me all of this anguish, but he chose to let me suffer. Knowing she was alive and well would have lessened _his_ whimpers for her. It would not have solved the problem, but it was something. Yet, he chose to keep it from me. I exhaled deeply, trying to calm my rage. Trust was for the weak. I had allowed myself to trust another and in the end, he betrayed me. I was weak. I had gone as far as to acknowledge him as someone close to me. Only for him to show me disloyalty.

**"Hurt. That is what you are feeling."**

"I did not ask for your input."

"**No. I chose to give it because it is what you needed to hear. You think you are invulnerable against your emotions if you ignore them."**

"I have heard enough from you to last me two lifetimes. I do not think, I know."

**"You have emotions. The fact that you are able to feel bothers you, worries you even. You are changing, and you wish it to stop. You wish to go back to your emotionally void shell of a self"**

"You know nothing. Stop babbling as if you do."

"**I know much more than you think. You feel as though your friend has betrayed you. Even though he is the reason you still breathe. Would that Miko have saved us if not for his pleads?"**

"I would rather you return to your whimpering than listen to your trivial lectures."

**"I heard the wolfs words. She is alive. She is here. We get closer and closer to her each time. That is enough until we find her, and I will lecture you as many times as you need to hear it. Till the end of our days if that's what it takes."**

"Who is to say I will not kill her, once she is in my grasp."

**"You would not dare. I know that. You know I will ruin you from the inside out."**

"Even if it means your own demise"

**"Yes. Without her, there is no point in continuing on."**

"You are as pitiful as ever."

**"It is you that is pitiful. Unable to admit the truth to yourself. You'd steal glances at her when visiting our ward. She intrigued you. Smart, beautiful, kind and strong. The ideal woman. She exci-"**

"SILENCE!"

He had receded back into his cage. The first time in centuries, it was quiet. He could have mated anyone. There was no shortage of demoness, yet he chose that human wench, and I have been paying for that choice ever since. I sowled as I thought of her. I felt as though she was toying with me. Using the mark to call out to me so aggressively. Was she trying to finish was she failed to do five hundred years ago? Or was this all just a game? Revenge for threatening and harming those she'd loved. If I didn't find her, I would have him to deal with. If I did find her, there was a high chance she would try and kill me, again. A nuisance I would rather not deal with.

The sound of the doorbell pulled me out of my thoughts. I slid out of the bed, leaving my bedroom heading to the front door. I reached for the doorknob, stopping halfway. Smelling the air, I let my hand drop to my side.

"I know you are there. I can smell you."

I turned away, walking into my living room. Taking a seat on the couch. The door was unlocked and pushed open only moments later. I turned my head looking over my shoulder. Seeing him standing there in my doorway. I turned back around, facing forward. I heard the door close, followed by heavy footsteps. He sat on the couch opposite me. Holding up a key between his fingers.

"You probably regret giving this to me."

"The lock shall be changed tomorrow."

He set the key down on the coffee table. "You haven't been to work in two days."

"I'm well aware of where I have not been wolf."

"You're being childish."

"You are disloyal." I spat.

He dragged his hands across his face. "This isn't the feudal era anymore Sesshomaru. You are not obligated to swear your loyalty to one person."

I snarled. "You knew. You knew she was alive. You knew that she was alright. Yet you did not bother to tell me. Even though you knew what my beast was putting me through. You decided to keep that information to yourself. I do not care where your loyalty to others lie. Only whether the one to me is true. It is clearly not."

"I am sorry if what I've done has hurt your feelings."

"This Sesshomaru does not have feelings."

He snorted. "You need to stop lying to yourself. It's alright to feel you know. It doesn't make you any less than you are. If anything, your emotions make you stronger."

I tapped my claws against the cushion. Looking him straight in the eyes. "You knew where she had been, correct?"

He looked at me. Hesitating to answer but, then he nodded.

"Did you aid in keeping her hidden from me?!"

Again, he nodded. I was becoming more furious with each passing second.

I clenched my jaw.

He sighed. "I had no choice Sesshomaru. Back then I couldn't be too sure that you would or wouldn't do."

I shot up to my feet. "NO! You had a choice and you chose wrong. I believed you to be my friend, to be my brother! Apparently, I was wrong about that as well."

"Sesshomaru calm down! We're family you and I. We always will be, but I couldn't risk you hurting her."

"Hurt her!? I just wanted the screams to stop! Why? Why go so far as to protect a woman who rejected you. Again and again. She was never going to be yours. Yet, you still went to such lengths for her. WHY!?"

"I love her Sesshomaru. I always have. You should have known that. I'll do whatever it takes to keep her-"

My hand shot out. M fingers wrapping themselves around his throat. Dangling him inches above the floor. **"SHE IS NOT YOURS TO LOVE!"**

I instantly released him, dropping him to the ground. I looked at my hand in utter disbelief. I hadn't laid a hand on him in almost two centuries. I wasn't even in control of my own body.

"I don't-, that was not me."

He coughed, standing slowly while rubbing his neck. "It's alright." He stood. "You need to start being honest with yourself Sesshomaru... and take another day while you're at it. You look like you need it."

With that, he left taking the key with him. I sunk down into the couch. His words on a continuous loop in my mind._ 'start being honest with yourself'_ How could I let this happen? I was losing myself. I had let myself feel too much. As an end result..things had spun out of my control.


	14. those wide eyes stared back at me.

Chapter 14:_ those wide eyes stared back at me._

* * *

I had been trapped in this penthouse for three entire days. I had explored every inch of it, and Myoga had been there with me every step of the way. Watching my every move. No doubt he was enjoying watching me suffer. I couldn't stay locked up for much longer. I needed to see Hojo. He was expecting me any day now. I had been laying on the couch for the past hour and a half. Trying to plan my next escape attempt. Which was difficult, seeing as though Myoga was sitting right next to me.

"Do you not have work to go to?"

He smiled. "Yes, but not today. You can take a few days off when you're the boss."

He went back to reading his paper.

"You have to use the bathroom, get something to eat, fall asleep."

"Well, I am a demon so I would surely overpower you. I'd beat you to the door before even take two steps. I don't need to eat or sleep much either." He flipped the page. "You get an A for effort though."

I groaned. I did not have to look at him to know he was smiling. I could hear it in his voice. I sat up looking straight at him.

"How long do you plan to keep me in here?"

He put the newspaper down. "If there is somewhere you'd like to go, I'd be happy to accompany you."

I grimaced. "I do not want you to accompany me."

He shrugged. "Then, you cannot go."

"It is right down the street."

"So then me coming with you should be of no issue."

I groaned. "I feel like a child."

"Do you wish to see your murderous lover again?"

"He is not my lover, and he is not who I want to see!"

He chuckled. "Another lover perhaps?"

"Myoga!"

He put a hand up, trying not to laugh. "Alright. I'm sorry, go on."

"Have you ever met a young man by the name of Hojo?"

He nodded. "He visited you very often, while you were in the hospital."

"I had stopped by the flower shop two days ago. I had been buying flowers for Inuyasha's grave. Hojo happens to own that shop, and I told him that Kagome would stop by to see him."

"Now look who was being reckless."

"Myoga, please. He visited me for so many years. I owe him this. I have to give him some sort of closure. He still loves me. It broke my heart to listen to the way he spoke about me. I felt so stupid for not realizing how he felt sooner. If I did I would have handled this a long time ago, but I was robbed of seven years of my life. So please, just give me this."

He gave me a smile, his eyes softening. He tossed something to me. I cupped my hands catching it. I opened them, seeing the ring sitting there.

"You were toying with me this entire time, weren't you? You had planned to let me go from the very moment I asked you. Probably even before that."

"Be careful." was all he said.

I jumped up, running over to him. Placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. Earning me a smile.

****N****

I stepped out of the elevator, looking into the large gold mirror hanging on the lobby wall. I made sure all of my hair had been tucked away. I wore a pair of jeans with a t-shirt and sneakers. I didn't want to draw any attention to myself. I was taking a big risk from going outside without wearing the ring. I touched my pant pocket making sure the ring was there. Just in case of an emergency. I stepped out of the lobby, the warm breeze hitting my skin. It felt nice to be outside. Those two days had felt like forever. It was just down the street, it wasn't that dangerous. I started walking, keeping my head down. Making it to the shop in only three minutes. I pushed open the glass door, hearing the ding-dong go off.

He looked up from the counter. "How may I help you?"

I pulled off my cap, letting my hair fall.

"Hey, Hojo. Its been a while."

I ran my fingers through my hair, nervously. He didn't say a word. He just stood there staring at me, trying to catch his breath. He was in shock. I assumed he hadn't expected to me so soon. Or at all for that matter. He walked over to me quickly. He wrapped his arms around me. Squeezing me tightly. I could hear him inhaling my scent, I slipped my arms around him, squeezing him back. We stood there like that for a while. Just enjoying each other's embrace. He pulled away, holding onto my shoulders. He was looking me over, taking me in. His eyes glossing over.

"Say something. Anything." I said.

"You're really here. " He laughed nervously. "Your friend said you would come. I didn't really believe it... but you're really here."

He let his hands drop to his sides.

"In the flesh I said."

He smiled brightly. "I told myself that there was so much I would tell you if I ever saw you again, but my mind has gone blank."

I rubbed his shoulder. "It's alright. I'm alright, and I'll stay as long as you'd like me to."

He ran over to the front door, flipping the sign over to closed and locking the door. He walked back over to me, flashing me another smile. He ran his fingers through his hair, avoiding my eyes.

"I'm sure your friend told you what I'd said the other day. The way I feel about you... the way I've always felt about you."

"Hojo I-"

"Don't feel the same?." He interjected. He hung his head low. "I figured that out a very long time ago."

I wrung my hands. "I'm sorry. If only I'd paid closer attention. Noticed sooner, then maybe-"

"You could've broken my heart sooner?"

I folded my arms. "I'm making this worse aren't I?"

He shook his head, giving me a sad smile. "You aren't telling me anything that I didn't already know. I'm just glad that I had the chance to see you again. So, thank you."

I took his hands in my own. Looking him in the eyes. "No. Thank you. You visited me so many times without being asked. Doing whatever you thought would help to wake me up. Even before I ended up in that hospital bed. You were always so kind to me. Even though I didn't deserve it. You were always there for me. So for that, I thank you. I am so grateful to have been loved by someone like you. I know that someday you will make a woman very happy."

We were both crying now. He knew. He knew that I didn't love him. He knew that I never would. Yet he continued to love me. Continued to take care of me, visit me. He was truly an amazing person and I was truly grateful for having met him. He hugged me once more. Letting it out. Not holding one tear back. They were tears of sadness, but tears of happiness as well. We would never be lovers, but we would forever be friends. He pulled away looking at me. I laughed, which had made him laughed. No doubt we both looked mad to the people walking by on the street. Standing here teary-eyed and laughing out loud. He caressed my cheek. Our chocolate orbs clashing. I could see so many emotions dancing in his eyes. I could tell there was so much he wanted to say, to do but he knew he could never have me. Have what he truly wanted. So he said nothing. He pulled his hand away. Walking over to the counter. He plucked a single red spider lily. Handing it to me.

He gave me a sad smile. "A thank you gift. For your friend; for allowing me to see you again."

I smiled, wiping my eyes. "She'll love it."

We stood there, looking at one another. I had done what I had come here to do. I'd given him closure and I had my peace of mind. Things were perfect. Or, so I'd thought. A loud bang startled me. My head snapped towards the sound. My breath hitched in my throat. I could only stare, as those wide eyes stared back at me.


	15. I was playing with fire, and I didn't care.

Chapter 15: _I was playing with fire, and I didn't care._

* * *

I stood there, too shocked to move. I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't run. He would surely catch me. I couldn't hide. He would just wait me out. He would probably kick down the door if I just continued to stand here, staring back at him. I could tell by the look on his face, that he was just as shocked as I was. Hojo shook me, snapping me out of my trance. He had a frightened look on his face. Just how worried had I looked?

"Kagome who is that man? Do I need to call the police?"

I violently shook my head, from side to side. He had seen me, and he wasn't going to go away. I placed the flower on the counter. I put my cap on, tucking my hair back underneath it. I took a step towards the door, but Hojo stopped me grabbing my hand.

"Kagome-"

I put my hand on his. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I promise."

He clenched his jaw but nodded. I slipped my hand out of his hold. Continuing to walk towards the door. I turned the lock and opened the door. I slipped outside, the ding dong resonating in my ears. He continued to stare at me. The disbelief sat on his face, plain as day.

"Let's talk somewhere more private."

He nodded. Walking in front of me. I followed him. Making a few turns here and there. We'd been walking for about twenty minutes, ending up in a small park. We stood only a few feet apart.

"Aren't you going to say something?"

I swallowed. "What exactly do you want me to say?"

"You could explain to me as to why you're running out and about. It isn't safe for you to be out in the open like this."

"Since when do you care about my safety? You tried to bring him straight to me."

"I couldn't just leave him to die Kagome. He's my-"

"Your family. So I've heard."

We stood there staring at one another. The awkward silence surrounded us. Our eyes meeting only a few times. Which only intensified the awkwardness. Several moments passed until he broke the silence. He shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I'm happy to see that you're alright."

"How did you find me?"

He gave me an awkward smile. "Most people would say thank you. Or, nice to see you too."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes.

He sighed. "I was searching for the woman with red hair. The one who had healed Sesshomaru. She was the first lead I'd had on you in years. I was asking around trying to find a trace of her, but I couldn't find her. I didn't even remember what she smelled like. I was going to give up, but then I caught your scent. It was so close. I had to follow it."

"Why? Did he send you to look for me?"

"No. That isn't why."

"So then why!?"

It had happened so quickly. Too quickly for my eyes to follow him. He was embracing me. His face in the crook of my neck."

"I had to see you. I just wanted to hold you. To talk to you. I just... I just wanted to see that you were okay."

I pushed him away. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to believe that this was my friend. The Kouga that I knew, but it was so difficult This Kouga was too close Sesshomaru.

"I know that it might be hard to trust me right now, but I would never intentionally put you in harm's way. I would never want anything bad to happen to you Kagome. I just couldn't help myself. It's just been so long. So long since I've heard your voice. Or seen you smile, smelled your scent. When I found out that you were gone. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Not only were you gone but you were mated to another. I'd felt so lost. Do you know what it does to a wolf when they lose the person they've imprinted on? I.. I just needed to see you. To touch you, something, anything!"

He exhaled deeply, turning away from me. He violently rubbed his eyes. He didn't want me to see him cry. I'd broken one more heart than I'd planned. I walked over to him slowly. I laid my head on his back, his hair tickling my cheeks, I wrapped my arms around him. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. They brimmed, threatening to fall with each passing second. His words were like knives in my heart. I was supposed to be a good person. How had I managed to cause so much pain? I was supposed to be enjoying life. So then why did it hurt so much?

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He touched my hand, rubbing it with his thumb. He laughed, but it was a sad one.

"I never thought in a million years that you'd hold me this way." I felt him sigh. He sniffled turning around. He looked down at me, our eyes meeting. Those deep Cerulean colored eyes that just seemed to suck you in. I remembered them to be so happy but at this moment. They were filled with pain, sadness... with yearning. I couldn't hold them back any longer. I buried my face into my hands. Bawling like a small child. He held me, letting me get it all out. I wasn't sure how much time it had taken me to stop crying. Minutes? An hour? I could have cried forever, but I felt like he would have held me like that forever if I needed him to. I wiped the last of my tears away looking up at him.

"I am so sorry Kouga. I really am. I never meant to hurt you; ever."

I had been angry with him only a few minutes ago, but now I found myself apologizing. Apologizing for something I wasn't even aware that I'd done. He patted my head, giving me a small smile. He held out his arm.

"Walk with me?"

I slipped my arm into his own, and we began to walk. Not to anywhere In particular, but just walking. Just to spend time with one another. Enjoying the silence. My mind was reeling again. I had hurt them all. I'd betrayed Inuyasha. Broken both Hojo's and Kouga hearts... I left Sango behind. I sighed. Kouga's cellphone ringing pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Hello?"

I looked up at him, wondering who was on the phone.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

He looked down at me. "I'm sorry but I have to go. I don't want to but someone needs me."

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a card handing it to me. I took it from him. It was his business card.

"If you need anything. Please don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you." Was all I could say.

He pulled me over to the curb, flagging down a cab handing money to the driver.

"Take her back to the corner of Omotesando." He turned back to me. "Promise me you'll call."

I nodded. "I promise."

He closed the door. The cab drove off. I leaned back, clutching the card in my hand. Getting close to him was dangerous. I had thrown caution out the window. I really had become the reckless one, but he was one of the few things that I had to hold onto, from my past and I just couldn't let go. I was being selfish and I was playing with fire, and I didn't care.


	16. I wasn't going to last very long.

Chapter 16: I wasn't going to last very long.

* * *

I watched as she rode off, already missing her presence. It had taken everything in me not to grab her, to kiss her and tell her how much I wanted her to stay with me and be mine. I slipped off my jacket, bringing it to my nose. I inhaled her scent. It was so strong, so intoxicating, I could feel my cock beginning to harden. I inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm the swelling in my pants. Her scent lingered all over me. I had to change before I headed over to him. Covering my crotch with my jacket, I flagged down another cab, getting in.

"Where can I take you to sir?"

"The Mori buildings, residence D."

He nodded driving off. I gazed out of the window. Centuries had passed and she still had this effect on me. I closed my eyes trying to think of something else, but she was all I could see. I laughed, and it was a bitter one. Leave it to me, to be in love with a woman that I would never be able to have.

****N****

I had finally reached my apartment. I unlocked the door, kicking it closed behind me. I went into my bedroom setting my phone down on the dresser. I tore off my clothes putting them into the hamper. I leaned against the dresser, looking down at my throbbing shaft. Precum forming at the tip. It twitched aching to be touched. One thought of her. That was all it took to get me like this. I laid on my bed, gripping my cock tightly, jerking my hand back and forth. Trying to imagine what she looked like naked. What her moans would sound like as I nipped, licked, and suckled, leaving kiss marks all over her body. What her lips would feel like on my own. Wondering how her wet hot core would feel wrapped around me. How she'd scream my name as I pumped into her. I could feel myself about to cum. I felt my loins tightening. I turned over letting my seed spray all over the comforter. If only she had really been here with me. I huffed and slid off of the bed. Dragging the comforter off, I rolled it up and stuffed it into the hamper too. I sighed, I shouldn't be thinking of her like this. I said to myself. She wasn't mine, and she never would be. I sniffed the air, her scent mixed in with my seed. I could feel my cock stiffening all over again. I would have to air this entire room out later. I left the room, closing the door behind me. Heading into the bathroom turning on the shower. Wondering if she had gotten home safely. I stepped in the shower, letting the cold water rush over me. Fortunately for me, it had helped. I could feel it soften. I grabbed the shampoo, washing my hair a few times. Making sure I'd gotten her scent out. I couldn't leave any trace of her scent behind. Next was my skin. I scrubbed it over and over, till I could barely even smell my own scent. After forty minutes of scrubbing and washing. I felt like I had done enough. I stepped out, drying my skin, tightly wrapping the towel around my waist. I heard a knock on my bathroom door. That almost made me jump out of my skin. I swung the bathroom door open, to see Sesshomaru standing there. My apartment key in hand.

"W-what the hell are you doing here?" I asked shocked.

"I told you to hurry over. You did not hurry. So I came to you."

He walked into the kitchen. I followed him watching him closely. Hoping he didn't catch a whiff of her scent.

"Your apartment reeks of seed wolf."

I let out a sigh of relief. As long as he didn't smell her scent that's all that matters.

"Well, it isn't like I was expecting anyone to show up here unannounced."

He set the brown bag down onto the kitchen island.

"Open it." He said.

I shoved my hand inside, pulling out a plastic container. I opened it, seeing tempura sitting inside.

"Is this your way of apologizing?" I picked one up, popping it into my mouth. "If it is, you're not very good at it."

"I apologize, that you drove me to hurt you."

"So, is that the only reason you came here?"

"Yes. That is all."

"I see."

He cleared his throat. "You of all people should know that I do not do well with showing emotions. I have never had to apologize. To anyone. Perhaps we could watch those basketball games you always rant about," he said.

He made his way to the living room, passing my bedroom door. I wanted to tell him to stop, but it didn't matter. It was too late. I noticed he had stopped in his tracks. My heart stopping along with him. I could see his claws sharpen. I stood, slowly backing away from him. He flexed his claws as he turned around slowly. His head hung so low, that his eyes were covered.

"Why is her scent coming from your bedroom?" he whispered.

He didn't give me a chance to answer. He lunged at me, jumping out of the way at the last minute. His claws had grazed my calf. I ran over to the other side of the kitchen island. Trying to keep some distance between us. He glared at me.

"Sesshomaru, calm down. It is not what you think!"

"LIAR!"

I ducked as he launched a pot at my head. I turned around seeing it sticking out of the wall.

"I'm getting really sick of your shit Sesshomaru. You need to listen to me!"

"No! I am done listening to you. I came here to apologize. To make up for being such a terrible friend. For what I had done, but I see now, that I should have done worse. Is this why you kept her from me? So you could have her to yourself? FUCK HER WHENEVER YOU PLEASED!"

I put my hand up. "That is not what happened. Just let me explain."

"Then tell me! Tell me why is her scent mixed in with your seed! In your bedroom!"

"I saw her today-"

That was enough to set him off again. He lunged at me once more. I ran into my bedroom, slamming the door shut. Pushing the dresser in front of it. He'd punched a hole right through it. It wouldn't hold for long and I needed to think of something quickly. There was a bloodthirsty demon standing between me and my only way out. My phone rang, I grabbed it answering it.

"Whoever this is, it is not a good time!"

_"I'm sorry, should I call back later?"_

"Kagome?"

He stopped breaking down my door, peering inside. His eyes were unnaturally wide. I could feel the anger rolling off of him.

"Hand me the phone. Now," he commanded.

_"Kouga what's going on?"_

He kicked open the door. I slid off of my bed dropping to the floor, as the dresser flew over me; crashing into the wall. Before I could get up, Sesshomaru was on top of me. His knee in my back and his hand on my head. Pushing my face into the floor, it cracking underneath me. I watched from the corner of my eye, as he picked up the phone, putting it to his ear.

"You have two hours to come to the Mori buildings. Residence D, 50th-floor apartment J. If you do not make it here on time. Your precious wolf will die."

He hung up the phone tossing it to the side. Digging his claws into my shoulder, causing me to wince in pain.

"Now, where were we?"

I grabbed his hand, catching him off guard and tossing him over my head. He quickly stood to his feet; as did I. He poised to strike and I readied to defend myself. I knew Kagome. She was going to try and save me. Even if it meant putting herself in danger. She was too good of a person. I just hoped that she'd hurry. This was Sesshomaru I was going up against. I needed all the help I could get. Otherwise, I wasn't going to last very long.


	17. "This was alright... if it was for the people I loved. I would do anything."

Chapter 17: "_This was alright... if it was for the people I loved. I would do anything."_

* * *

I sat on my bed, drying my hair. Staring at the slightly crumpled business card in my hand. I wanted to talk to him some more. There were so many questions that I had wanted to ask him. Getting close to him was selfish of me, but I had always put others before myself time after time. It was time to live for me, just a little. I tossed the towel aside, running out of my room and into the living room onto the couch. I grabbed the house phone, grateful that I was home alone. Both mother and Myoga were at work. Punching in the phone number on the card, I chewed at my lip waiting for him to pick up. It was answered so quickly, it only rang once.

_"Whoever this is it is not a good time!"_

"I'm sorry, should I call back later?"

_"Kagome?"_

I could hear someone speaking in the background, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Kouga_ What's going on?"_

Next came loud crashing sounds in the background. What the hell was going on over there? The loud crashing had stopped and it became very quiet. Before I could call out his name, someone spoke.

"You have two hours to come to the Mori buildings. Residence D, 50th-floor apartment J. If you do not make it on time. Your precious wolf will die."

My heart was pounding in my chest. I felt as though it would burst. He'd hung up the phone before I could say anything; not that I would have anyway. I put the phone back on its hook, putting my feet on the floor. My mind was racing. I was still trying to digest what I'd just heard. Why would he suddenly want to kill Kouga? Was this some kind of trick to lure me out? No, Kouga wouldn't do something like that. Sesshomaru had sounded serious. He was waiting for me. He knew that I wouldn't just let Kouga die like that. I ran back into my room. I tore my robe off, trying to hurry as fast as I could. If the Mori buildings were where I remembered, it would take at least an hour and a half to get there. I threw on a plain white dress and a pair of white flats. Grabbing a credit card out of my pack. I ran out of the apartment locking the door behind me. I pressed the elevator button over and over. It had taken ten minutes coming and going. That's twenty minutes already wasted. I ran out of the elevator through the lobby, outside. My eyes frantically scanning for a cab. Running to the curb I waved my hands around, trying to get its attention. I ignored the looks and the whispers coming from the people around me. The cab pulled up, I swung the car door open getting inside, slamming it behind me. Not even giving the driver a chance to speak.

"I need to go to the Mori buildings, residence D as fast as you can. NOW!"

He turned around and sped off. I'd tip him later for being so rude. I pushed my damp hair out of my face. Inhaling and exhaling trying to calm my nerves. I bit my lip, looking out of the window.

"Just wait for me Kouga, I'm coming."

****N****

I tapped my foot, hoping the elevator would go faster. I apparently had no such luck. I had no time to waste and it was stopping at almost every floor. I looked at the elevator monitor; it read _5:45_. I had only five minutes left to go. I was still five floors away, and the people going in and out, that were taking their sweet time didn't make the situation any better. The elevator doors opened up and I ran out pushing through the cluster of people. Running towards the staircase, pushing the heavy iron door. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could. My legs burned as well as my lungs but that wasn't enough to make me stop. Kouga needed me, and I refused to let him down. I'd finally reached the 50th floor, looking at each door for whichever one had a J. I'd found and I pounded on it one hard time. It swung open hitting the wall hard. I quickly stepped inside. I looked around, the entire apartment was a complete mess. My eyes landed on Kouga on the far side of the room. I ran over to his side. Dodging the scattered pieces of wood and shattered glass, laying on the floor. Pressing my ear to his chest. I let out a sigh of relief, his heart was still beating, but it was faint.

"Thank God I whispered."

I lifted his head, placing it on my lap. His lip had been busted, his eye was beginning to blacken. Claw marks were scattered across his body. I clenched my fists. This was supposed to be his friend, his family. Yet he did this to him. I laid my hands on his body, a pink light enveloping him. I let my power flow out of me and into him. Pushing as hard as I could. I wanted to heal him as quickly as possible. I needed to get him out of here.

"Everything is going to be okay," I said more to myself than I did him.

**"Kagome."**

As if on cue I erected a barrier. My head snapping in the direction of his voice. He stalked out of the darkroom coming into the light. He had Kouga's blood all over him, but he wasn't unscathed either. He had a few cuts here and there, along with bruises but they were already beginning to heal. Walking over to the front door he shut it, turning the lock. I kept my eyes on him at all times, and he did the same. He sunk to the floor crossing his legs. He seemed so calm.

**"Why do you cry, Miko?" **he asked.

His voice sending shivers down my spine once again. I bit my lip, remembering that that was the question that had started it all.

"You hurt him," I whispered.

**"My other half did this. I advised against it, but as you know. He does not always listen to me. I managed to take control in the midst of his** **rage. He sleeps as we speak."**

"Why? Why would he do something like this?"

His face hardened. **"You have bedded the wolf?"**

"I did no such thing! Yes, I love Kouga, but not in that way. We have never and we will never sleep with one another and he knows that. The only one who has done something wrong is him. He lashed out against the only family he has. The only person who cared about him."

**"The wolf had told us that he loves you. I nearly crushed his throat in my hand. Your scent mixing with his seed in his bedroom made things worse. Our species are not keen when it comes to sharing. Especially what belongs to us."**

"I am not a piece of property. You may have marked me but I do not belong to you, either of you. I couldn't love someone who would hurt their family."

**"You do belong to us. Body, mind, and soul. The mark on your neck is proof of that and f** **amilies often fight, especially this one. I assure you, this scuffle was nothing compared to back then.** **"**

"I belong to no-"

**"You care for me do you not?"**

That question had caught me off guard. "I never said that I did."

**"You did not have to. You have done so without realizing. Not with your words but with your actions. You allowed my other half to live because you did not wish me to perish along with him. Why do you think that is?"**

I only stared at him. Not sure what I should have said.

His eyes softened. **"I care for you. He cares for you.****"**

"He cares? He does not care for anyone but himself. Look one he did to Kouga. "

**"I am his true self. His true desires. His emotion that he has tried to keep locked away. Trust me when I say he cares."**

"Trying to kill me and hunting me down. Is a funny way of showing that."

**"He has spent most of his life, trying not to feel. Covering up his sadness with the hatred of humans. Our ward is an exception. He was succeeding, until the day we saw you. I mean really saw you for the first time. Too many moons had passed since we had last seen our ward. We watched from the tree as she played with the other children from the village. Our eyes frequently wandering over to you. You were so beautiful, so carefree. At that moment we knew we wanted you. From that day we had marked you. Whether my other half would have admitted it or not. You were ours. Ours to love, ours to care for. To spend eternity with and bear our children. ** **You should understand why this angered us."**

"He lashed out as he always did back then. He is a child caught up in himself. Too afraid to feel anything. As a result, he hurt his friend. Someone he was supposed to care about. Someone I care about! If he wants to think that I slept with Kouga. That is his own problem."

**"That is where you are wrong. ** **Much to my dislike, you care for the wolf. I believe you when you say, you did not bed him, but I do not know when my other half ** **will realize this. How long before my other half chooses to engage in a fight once again? Would you be able to bear it if the wolf were to actually lose his life? How worse would it have to become, until you realize there's no other solution than to give in?"**

I pulled my hands away from Kouga. He had hurt his only friend, his only family. How much worse could it possibly get? To be truthful, I didn't want to think about how much worse it could get.

"He hurt Kouga. What would stop him from hurting me?"

**"He wouldn't dare do that again. I give you my word."**

I said nothing. The look on his face told me that he was telling the truth, but that still didn't make this decision any easier.

**"He will not stop looking for you. I will not let him. I haven't for the last five hundred years. You are here in front of me, so close that I could touch you. I cannot lose you again." **he said, his voice barely audible.

His eyes were filled with pain. My hand flew to my neck. My heart ached in my chest. My eyes filling with tears in an instant. They spilled flowing uncontrollably, falling onto Kouga's cheek. He stood on his feet, walking over towards me. Stopping right in front of me. He took a knee, reaching out towards me, laying his hand on the barrier. I could see the palm of his hand, his skin began to blister and peel.

"Stop it you're hurting yourself!"

He continued to stare at me, not moving his hand, I removed Kouga's head from my lap. I dropped the barrier, grabbing his hand looking at it. He caressed my cheek with his other hand. So soft and gentle.

**"It seems that you too are dishonest with yourself."**

I let go of his hand, backing away from him. I looked down at Kouga, but I felt myself being pulled forward. I looked up, coming face to face with Sesshomaru. Our faces so close, our noses almost touched. A small smile sat on his lips. Those red eyes were so intense. I swore he could see into my soul. I felt something hard come down on the back of my neck. I could feel myself slipping. This was alright... if it was for the people I loved. I would do anything.


	18. We were too late.

Chapter 18: _We were too late._

* * *

Twelve hours. That is how much time her pampering had taken. I told her I would take her out; get her anything she wanted, to splurge. Make-up, clothes, shoes, things for Kagome. Aoi rarely asked for much, which only made me want to give her everything even more. Besides, seeing the smile on her face was worth it. She deserved the world, and I always tried my best to give it to her. What was that saying? _"Happy wife, happy life.". _I could do without carrying her endless amount of shopping bags though. My fingers felt like they were going numb, and this elevator going slow did not make any it better. I looked over at her. She gave me a sweet smile. Her mocha eyes sparkling under the fluorescent lights. A light blush graced her cheeks.

She smiled. "You're staring," she said.

"You're so beautiful. How could I not?"

She laughed. "Oh, Myoga stop it."

"If only we were younger. I would love to see you bearing my children."

I chuckled, her face turning three shades of red. "D-do you think Kagome will like what I picked out for her." She said changing the subject.

I smiled inwardly. "I'm sure she'll love it."

The elevator had finally reached the top floor. We exited walking towards the door. Aoi pulled out the key unlocking the door. I rushed in, placing the bags onto the hallway floor. Grateful that I could still move my arms.

"Kagome." She called out.

I opened her bedroom door, looking around. Nothing was out of place. Only a single towel sat on her bed. I went into the living room, but she was not there either. _Where could she be? _I wondered. I looked down, spotting something sitting on the couch. I picked it up, flipping it over. I clenched my jaw, as I read the name Kouga Ookami. Kagome just couldn't stay away. She really had become the reckless one.

"I checked the rest of the house. She isn't here."

I spun around, stuffing the card into my back pocket.

"I forgot to tell you. She went out to meet an old friend."

She smiled. "Oh, that's nice. Some friends will do her some good. As soon as I'm finished unpacking all of these things. I'll start dinner. So, it should be ready in about an hour."

"Actually, there was some work I that needed to finish up at the office." I lied.

Her face saddened. "When will you be back?"

I walked over to her, slipping my arms around her waist. "Don't make that face, my love. I'm sorry, but I won't be back until much later. I promise to make it up to you later."

I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Leaving the apartment. I had to make a housecall to a certain wolf.

****N****

I looked over at the elevator monitor, _7:30_. It had finally reached the 50th floor. I walked off of the elevator, walking down to his apartment. Banging on his front door. There was no answer. I pressed my ear against the door. Hearing shuffling noises coming from inside.

"I can hear you Kouga. Open the door."

Moments passed before the door finally opened. He looked all beat up. He opened the door wider stepping aside, letting me step in. I walked into his apartment, looking around. Broken furniture, shattered glass. Everything was a mess. I heard the door slam shut behind me. I turned around looking at him.

"Why couldn't you just stay away. Just leave her alone. I found this!" I tossed the business card onto the floor. It landing in front of his feet. "I know she was here. I can smell her. I can smell _him _too." I clenched my fists. "He has her doesn't he?"

I watched his jaw tightened, his lip pressing into a tight line.

"Myoga-"

"Do you have any idea what you have done? Why couldn't you just leave her alone!? It is your fault. You know what? No, this is my fault. If I hadn't asked you for help you wouldn't even have known she was alive. Sesshomaru would be dead and everything would have been alright. She would have been safe. Free to live her life without looking over her shoulder. God!" I held my forehead, trying to calm down. I exhaled. "Tell me what happened?"

He swallowed, looking down at the floor."I had met with Kagome earlier today, but it was cut short. Sesshomaru had called saying he needed t see me. I came home to get rid of her scent, but then he showed up here and he smelled her scent. He attacked me, accusing me of sleeping with her. Kagome.. she had called and I picked up the phone. He managed to get it away from me. He told her if she didn't come here, he would kill me. I was unconscious but ... I knew she came. Myoga... listen I tried to stay away from her. I really did, but I just needed to see her. I never meant for any of this to happen. I would do anything to get her back."

"You told her he had changed. You put that in her head. She would have never second-guessed anything if it wasn't for you. You made me promise to keep her safe, and I had. For all these years. Yet only took you a few days to ruin all of that. You say you would do anything to get her back. Good, because now you're going to make good on that. Get dressed, you're going to help me get her back."

****N****

I was still seething on the inside. I wanted to reach over to the passenger side and smack him. However, it seemed as though he'd been beaten on enough. I glanced over at him, he was staring out the car window. I could smell the stress on him.

"Kouga-"

"If you're going to try and make me feel like shit some more. Don't bother. I felt that way long before you'd gotten here."

I sighed. Not saying anything else. He was beating himself up more than anyone could. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. He was the reason Sesshomaru had my child. He had every right to feel bad. I pressed my foot on the gas peddle. Making it to our destination in half the time that was needed. I pulled up to the curb, parking the car. We got out heading towards the building. We took no time reaching his apartment. I watched the wolf pull out the key, opening the door. We walked in quietly, surveying the area. There was nothing out of place. I couldn't hear anything. I could smell Sesshomaru's scent, but it was faint. I looked over at Kouga, a frantic look in his eyes. He looked, how I had felt. He ran through the apartment. Searching every room. I sighed, sitting on the couch. I loosened my tie.

"Kouga!"

He ignored me, continuing to search the apartment. I banged my hand on the coffee table. The sound echoing throughout the place. Ceasing his pointless searching.

"Enough Kouga... she is not here."

He put his hand through the window, letting it drop to his side. The blood dripping from his fingertips.

"We were too late."


	19. You could have spared us both

Chapter 19:_ You could have spared us both_

* * *

I groaned, rolling over. Massaging my neck, trying to get rid of the soreness. Just how hard had he hit me? I shot up, the events of what had happened in Kouga's apartment flooded my mind. My eyes darted around the room. Taking everything in. It was an all-white room, with no windows. I stood slowly, moving towards the door. Still a little groggy. I turned the knob slowly opening the door quietly. I poked my head out into the hallway. It was dimly lit. I slipped out walking over to the window. The hardwood floors creaking under my feet. I assumed that if I took a look outside. I would be able to tell where I was. However, I wasn't expecting to see what I had. There was nothing but trees for what seemed like miles, sitting in the middle of them was a long dirt road. That seemed to stretch on forever. A sleek black car sitting out front. I turned around making my way to the other end of the hallway, going down the staircase. They led down into a large living room. I listened closely... everything was quiet; too quiet. I looked around making sure the coast was clear. There was not a soul in sight. My eyes landed on the front door. I took off in a mad dash, making a run for it. Swinging it open once I'd reached it. Only to be stopped right in my tracks. Sesshomaru stood in front of me. His large frame towering over me. He took a step forward, causing me to take fives steps back. Falling right into the couch. He closed the door behind him. Sitting on the couch opposite me. His eyes never leaving me. I felt uneasy, he only continued to stare at me.

"I can smell your distress. No harm will come to you. I am sure _he_ told you that."

I nodded. "He told me many things."

He glared daggers at me. "Hn."

"Why am I here?"

"You are here solely because of him. Keeping you here means that I will not need to deal with his whiny cacophony. No other reason."

He continued to stare at me. His eyes narrowing into slits.

I unfolded my hands, gripping my dress. "You are angry with me, and you have been for centuries."

"This is not new information Miko."

"Why?"

He leaned forward. " That night, you sullied me. You a human dared to lay with me. A short time after that, you severed my arm. Or did you forget?" he spat.

I scoffed. "You losing your arm was your own fault! I'm the one who sullied you? Is that what you really think? My first time was on the forest floor. With someone who wouldn't even piss on me If I was on fire. I did a terrible thing, but I've taken responsibility for what I've done. For what I let happen that night. If anyone was sullied Sesshomaru it was me, and how many times do I have to remind you that your beast sought me out that night? Not the other way around. Or did you forget? So please! Stop acting as if this is something that is happening to you. All of this, the reason I am here. The reason that we are here! Is happening because of you."

"You could have said no. Pushed him away. You could have done something, anything. Instead, you just let it happen. You laid there and spread your legs for him in that forest. You let him take you like some common whore."

"Whore!? You are such pathetic excuse for a demon. Blaming me for everything. You're afraid of feeling anything that's not anger, or hatred. You hate me for something you started. I never once asked you to do what you did. I was in love with someone else. It was you who sullied me! You ruined my life. You threatened and hurt the people that I loved. You tried to kill me, on more than one occasion. I had to say goodbye to everyone and everything! All because of you. So if anyone has the right to hate someone, it's me. No matter which way you look at it Sesshomaru. All of this is your fault. You and you alone are to blame for the mess that we are in now."

I wasn't expecting him to look as shocked as he did. I could see the anger in his eyes. The veins popping out in his neck.

"I never wanted this. I never wanted you. If I could go back and change, what had happened I would."

"Liar," I said.

"You best watch your tongue!"

"Or what!?"

"You are pushing it human. I may not be able to physically harm you, but there are other ways to make you miserable." his voice was deep and menacing.

"There is nothing you can do or say, to make me shut up. He said that you locked him away. To stop feeling the things that you didn't want to because you had spent most of your life trying not to feel. However, you were starting to feel. More than you ever had and that frightened you. You had marked me long before actually doing it. You wanted me to bear your children. To belong to you completely. Mind, body, and soul, but you would never admit that because you couldn't understand it. You couldn't figure out as to why, why would a great demon lord want a mere human like me? You've looked down on humans for so long, but when one finally caught your attention. You became angry. Not at me at first, but at yourself. I was told a beast and its master are one. One cannot exist without the other. They cannot be separated. He is you and you are him. Everything he feels. You feel because you are him. You are the same! You know that I'm right! and deep down you're even more scared. Why? Because you feel for me and you know that I will never love someone like you. That only adds insult to injury because being rejected by a human hurts your pride, and God help anyone who would dare to hurt your pride right? I'm right, aren't I? I am right and you know it."

He got in my face snarling, his fangs bared. "YOU KNOW NOTHING!"

"So then tell me Sesshomaru. Why are you so angry, if what I'm saying isn't true?"

He only stared at me, his eyes wide, and jaw clenched tightly.

"You can snarl as many times as you'd like Sesshomaru because the fact of the matter is. I'm right. No matter what you say. I am right, and I will always be right."

He grabbed me by the arm, pulling me up the steps. Pulling me to the second floor. He opened the door, throwing me back into the room I was in before. He headed to the door, stopping and taking a look over his shoulder.

"You should have killed me that day. You could have spared us both." Was all he said before closing the door.


	20. I would have to swallow my pride

Chapter 20: _I would have to swallow my pride_

* * *

I slammed my bedroom door behind me. The chandelier hanging from the ceiling shook violently. I could feel my blood boiling in my veins. How dare that woman speak to me that way? She would never love me? As if I would ever want or need her love. I would never want something as trivial as love. Nor would I ever love her. She wasn't worthy of my love. I leaned against the door, sinking down to the floor. Inhaling and exhaling, I tried to calm myself. A few simple words should not have an effect on me like this. I should not be this riled up, this angry.

**"Go back to her. Apologize for every word that has left your mouth. Right now!** **"**

"I will do no such thing! It is her that should apologize to me."

**"You fool! ** **Are you happy now!? ** **Why must you always ruin everything!? ** **She said that she will never love someone like you! ** **Do you think that if she hates you, you won't want to love her? ** **I brought her here! She was right in our grasp. All you had to do was admit how you truly felt, but you lied. Again and again. You always lie. Making the situation worse. Throwing away all the hard work that I had done. We have her. We finally have her. Yet, you push her away. Why? Why can't you just give in and feel? Feel everything that you have been afraid of for so long. I felt the pain you felt when she said those words. Just give in, once you do you will see how much we need her. How much we yearn for her. How much we have been missing? She is the only thing that can keep that empty feeling away. Why is it so difficult for you to see that? I am your most inner desires. Your deepest darkest secrets. That ** **you wish for no one to see. ** **Only I know the true you because I am you! Yet you continue to deny what I say. Have you plunged that deeply into denial, that you have become so blind?"**

"I am blinded by nothing, and I do not care what you say. I do not need nor want her!"

**"Yes, we do! We need her. We have always needed her. We need her more than we have ever needed anyone. She is the missing piece that completes us. You need to fix this. O** **r there will be hell to pay."**

"YOU DARE TO THREATEN ME!?"

**"No, not a threat, but a promise. I meant what I had said. Without her this life is pointless, and you know it. Fix this or else."**

I stood, doubling over a few seconds after, dropping to the floor. My body went stiff. The inside of my skull was set ablaze. It felt as though my brain was being scrambled. I turned over, the burning sensation traveling down my spine. Spreading throughout my limbs. Everything burned right down to my very core. I couldn't breathe, scream, move. I was unsure of how long it had lasted. I only knew when it had ended. I laid there on the floor. Taking in as much air as my lungs could hold. Trying to recover from whatever my beast had done. Whatever it was. It was a warning. I clenched my fists, still laying there. The words _**fix this** _echoed loudly in the back of my mind. I sat up slowly breathing heavily. Tearing off my sweat-soaked shirt, tossing it aside. I slowly stood. Steadying myself before walking over to the window. Opening it, I leaped out landing on the grass. There had to be a way out of this. A loophole and I was going to find it.

****N****

I maneuvered in the dark through the thicket of trees. Twigs snapping under my feet. My feet sinking into the dirt, with each step. I had soon reached a large clearing. It entirely filled with moonlight. I looked up at the moon. It was full and sat hight in the sky. It was almost midnight. I looked back down, my eyes landing on the massive tree that sat in its center. I walked further into the clearing. Stopping in front of the tree, I looked up.

"Bokusenō," I called out.

His old wrinkled bark-covered face protruded out of its trunk.

"Sesshomaru. Many moons have passed since I last saw you. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I am in need of your wisdom."

"What is it that you wish to know?"

"My beast has chosen a mate... a human mate. I wish to know how to rid myself of this unwanted, _situation_."

"You cannot accept the fact that she is human correct?"

I nodded.

"Do you know why that is?"

"She is human. I am the last of the inudaiyokai. Two races, that should not mix."

He gave a small smile. Pieces of bark cracking, as the corners of his mouth, turned upwards.

"You do not wish to end up like your father. You think mating a human-made him weak. You think it will make you weak as well, and you detest weakness. The great inudaiyokai Sesshomaru. A name that had cast fear throughout the lands. A name that I am sure still holds true today. A demon who strived for perfection. You think accepting her and loving her will tarnish who you are and what you stand for. However, my child. The times have changed. This is no longer the world you once knew. Things have changed, and you have changed along with them. No matter how much you deny it, you know the truth."

"I did not seek you out to hear a lecture. I simply wish to know the answer to my question."

"You cannot undo what has already been done. There is no going back. Only going forward."

"No! There has to be another way."

"If you continue to fight this, it will tear you apart."

I turned away, going back the way I'd come. I cursed under my breath. I knew what had to be done. For the first time, in all of my years. As much as it pained me. I would have to swallow my pride.


	21. Myoga!

Chapter 21:  _Myoga!_

* * *

I looked at the clock. Its bright red letters read _11:50_. Myoga had been gone for hours. He had left so abruptly. Giving me some poor excuse about the extra work he had needed to get done. He was lying. I knew he was. Myoga was always on top of things with the company. In all my years of knowing him. Being married to him. There was never work that had been left undone. He wasn't the type to leave things to the last minute. I had been tossing and turning in bed, for the last few hours. Trying to figure out where it is that he went, and why was it so important. Was there... another woman? No, Myoga wouldn't do something like that. I pulled the comforter up to my chin. Staring out the window, looking at the twinkling lights of the city. As they shone brightly in the night. I exhaled slipping out of bed, heading to the kitchen. Perhaps if I drank some tea, it would help me sleep. I walked into the kitchen, hearing the front door open and close only moments later. I looked into the hallway, seeing Myoga walking in, sitting on the couch. As if he hadn't been gone for almost six hours. I turned around, staring straight at the back of his head.

"Where have you been Myoga?"

"Aoi I need you to-"

"Where, have you been?"

"Aoi please-"

"I will not ask you again Myoga. I don't know if you assumed I hadn't noticed, but since Kagome has woken up. You've been secretive. You told me you would explain everything to me, but you haven't. I want to know what is going on. Where is Kagome, and what have you been hiding from me?"

He patted the seat beside him. "Come, sit down. I will tell you everything you want to know."

I walked into the living room, sitting beside him.

"That day that I had run into you. It wasn't by accident. I had made it my business to track your family down. Since the day Kagome was born, I'd been watching over her. Watching over all of you. Making sure that you were safe. I knew what she had gone through back then. How he had hurt her. Forced her to leave her family behind. I had failed her when she needed me the most, and I was desperately trying to make up for it. I'd told you that I wanted to protect her from the world. I wasn't completely lying when I'd said that. When I'd said the world, I'd meant Sesshomaru. Her head had been filled with lies that he has changed, but I just refuse to believe that. After all that he has done. One does not simply decide to stop being a monster. I tried to keep her safe, I really did, but no matter how hard I tried, tried to keep her away from her past. I thought that I could do it, and for a while I had. But her past just continued to follow her. Until it finally caught up to her, and now ...he finally has her."

I sat there, taking in all of what he had said. So many emotions were running through me. Anger, sadness. Anger because he had lied to me. Sadness because my child had been taken from me.

"You kept all of this from me," I whispered. "How could you?"

He grabbed my hand. "I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want to cause you any more stress than you had already endured. I... I thought that I could do this all on my own while sparing you. I am so sorry, please forgive me Aoi. I will do whatever it takes to get her back."

I snatched my hand away from him. "You better, and I will be with you every step of the way. There will be no more leaving me in the dark."

"No, I do not want you to get involved in this. I do not know how dangerous this can get, and I am sure Kagome wouldn't want you anywhere near this either."

"She is my daughter Myoga!"

"She is my daughter too! I love her just as much as you do Aoi. Her being gone hurts me just as much as it hurts you. If not more. I know you are angry at me, but I promise you. No one is more angry at me than I am. So please, just let me clean up this mess."

I stood up, looking at him. He reached out for me, but I walked by him shoving his hand away. I went into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. Making sure to lock it. I slipped into bed, staring up into the dark. I felt so useless. I laid there, silently hating myself for not speaking up sooner. Knowing I would feel the same in the morning.

****N****

I sat up in bed, squinting at the bright sunlight that seeped in through the windows. It was very early. It was only _9:30._ My mind going straight to Kagome. I put my hand over my heart as it ached. I could feel my eyes starting to sting as they filled with tears. I wondered where she was. Was she okay? Had he hurt her? I had so many questions. Questions that no one but her could answer. I had gone and made myself sad all over again. I wiped my tears away, trying to get a hold of myself. I sighed slipping out of bed. I walked over to the door unlocking it. I could hear the shower running. I headed to the bathroom, but a knock at the front door stopped me. I went over to it, unlocking it and swinging it open. My eyes grew wide at what I had seen.

"Myoga!"


	22. Where would we go from here

Chapter 22: _Where would we go from here_

* * *

I hadn't slept; I couldn't. I wasn't sure how much time had passed. Or, whether it was day or night. The downside to having a room with no windows. I'd just been laying there. I and Sesshomaru's conversation was still hot on my mind. I had said terrible things to him. Then again, so had he. I told him that I would never love someone like him. I knew his beast had heard every word that I'd said. I didn't want to hurt his beast but, they were the same. Didn't that mean I didn't want to hurt him either? I rolled over, shoving my face into the pillow. This was all so very confusing. Was I feeling regret? I couldn't be, could I? I pulled my face from the pillow, sitting up straight. There was no doubt that Myoga and my mother were worrying about me. I knew they would come looking for me and that worried me. I didn't want them to find me. Not because I wanted to stay here, but because I wasn't sure if Sesshomaru would use them against me in some way. I heard the door open behind me. I turned around seeing Sesshomaru standing there. A towel in his hands. He tossed it to me, and I caught it. I stared at him and he stared at me. Moments passing until he had finally said something.

"You need to bathe. The bathroom is the last door, on the left by the window. Come downstairs once you are finished."

"If I don't?"

"It is in your best interest that you do."

With that, he left the room. I waited before getting off of the bed. I looked out into the hallway. The sunlight pouring in, and he wasn't there. I quietly ran to the end of the hallway, opening the door. I slipped in, closing the door behind me. The bathroom was large. Black tiles sat under my feet. As well as on the walls. A single white lamp sat in the corner. Along with a large panoramic window allowed me to look out onto the forest. The tub sank into the floor. Soaps and shampoos sat in a dish next to it. I slid my fingers along the black granite sink tops surface. Staring into the mirror. I looked like hell. My hair was a tangled mess. I could see the bags under my eyes beginning to form. I felt my skin, I could feel the sweat and grime that had built up. I set the towel onto the sink counter. Pulling the dress over my head, dropping it to the floor. I turned around, walking over to the tub. I stooped down, turning the handles. Letting the water run until it was full. I slipped in, sighing in enjoyment as the water slightly scalded my skin. I held my breath as I sunk down into the water. Where did we go from here? I wondered.

****N****

I sat at the table, looking down at the black dress I wore. It was silk; loose-fitting. I wondered who it belonged to. It was laying on the bed in my room when I'd returned. I looked at the plate in front of me. My stomach growling slightly. My mouth watered at the sight of eggs with furikake.

"Eat," he commanded. "I did not bring you all this way for you to die of starvation."

"I do not want it." I lied.

He looked at me. An annoyed look plastered on his face. His eyes darting to my hair. No doubt it had to do the fact that it was still dripping wet. I'd purposely not dried it. Knowing that it would annoy him. I expected him to yell. Instead, he pulled the scrunchie from his hair, tossing it to me.

"You are making a mess." Was all he'd said.

I slid it back across the table. Looking at him strangely.

"You're being somewhat of a decent person," I said. "Why?"

"Eat. Then, you will have your answers."

I picked up my fork, digging in. I practically scarfed down the food whole, dowing the glass of water along with it. I'd finished within a matter of minutes. Looking back up at him.

"You lack table manners, just as the half-breed did."

"Do not speak about him. You lost that right after what you did."

"Miko-"

"What is this Sesshomaru? Is this supposed to be your idea of small talk? What is it that you want?"

He clenched his jaw, exhaling deeply. "Ground rules need to be set. Especially after last night exchange of words. Things got... out of control."

"Again, something that was your own fault, and what ground rules?"

He narrowed his eyes. "You will not run away. If you wish to go somewhere, I will accompany you. You are to always stay by my side. You will respect me, in public as well as in private."

"I am not a pet Sesshomaru. I do not want to be kept. I want to be free. Free to do as I please, and make my own decisions. Not to have you make them for me, and as for respect. It goes both ways. If you want my respect you will give me respect."

I saw his jaw clench. "Fine."

I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose. "Is this my life now? Do I have to spend the rest of my days glued to your hip?"

"This is not only your life Miko but mine as well."

I looked at him long and hard. "I want your word. That I will be able to go where I want and to do as I please, and if you have to be there; you won't be on top of me, breathing down my neck. I want my privacy as well. You can have your respect so long as you give me mine. Also, you will not harm anyone that I care about. No matter what."

He was silent. A few moments passed until he finally spoke.

"You have my word."

"Fine. Where do we go from here?"

"I do not know as to why my beast brought you here. I can only assume it was so that we could come to some form of a compromise. However, since we have reached an _agreement_. We will leave for the city today. I will accompany you to retrieve your things, and you will bring them back to my apartment. In the following days, you will accompany me to work."

"Another thing, I will not be sleeping in the same bed as you. Do not expect me to cook or clean for you. I am not a trophy wife."

I could see the annoyance on his face.

"Is that all?"

"No, there is one last thing."

"Which is?"

"I want an apology."

I had never seen him make that face before. It almost made him look normal. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I want an apology. Or we can forget about our _agreement_."

He gripped the table. "I... apologize."

I leaned forward. "What exactly are you sorry for?"

"Miko-"

"No, do you know what you are apologizing for?"

"Yes," he said.

His nonchalant attitude was beginning to irritate me.

"So then tell me."

"Now it is you who is angry with me."

"Of course I'm angry with you. You threatened everyone I loved and an entire village. What would Rin have thought of you if you'd done that?"

I could see that I had struck a nerve when I'd said her name.

"Do you want me to say that I was a monster? That I acted without thinking? To apologize for threatening the people you loved and you. Fine. I am sorry, but do not ever speak her name to me. You are not the only person who has lost someone due to my mistakes."

I looked into his eyes. For the first time, in those amber orbs. I saw another emotion besides anger... it was sadness. However, they didn't stay that way for long. Soon they were void of emotion once again. He stood, buttoning his blazer. "Dry your hair and put on your shoes. We are leaving."

I folded my arms and stared at him. I may have agreed to his terms but I wasn't going to make anything easy for him.

"You can make yourself look more presentable. Or I can drag you out of here as you are."

I shrugged. "Well, I guess you will have to drag me out of here."

I could see the irritation in his eyes as well as on his face. He walked to the door and back. My shoes in hand. Shoving them onto my feet roughly. He grabbed the hair tie off of the table. Handing it to me. I wrapped my hair up into a bun. I flashed the excess water off of my hands and onto the floor. He looked extremely annoyed, and I honestly was enjoying it.

"Now, let's go," he commanded

It was obvious that I was annoying him, but I didn't care. He deserved it and so much more, but he was tolerating it. No doubt his beast had done something t


	23. I'm sorry we shouldn't have come

Chapter 23: I'm sorry we shouldn't have come

* * *

I stared straight at the door. Afraid to knock on it. Maybe I should have convinced him I could go without him. A phone call alone would have sufficed... right? I didn't know what was going to happen the moment I knocked on that cleared his throat, yet I still hadn't Knocked.

"Maybe you should wait for me downstairs," I said.

"That was not the agreement Miko."

I sighed, he was right. His patience was wearing that I really cared, but before I could reach out and knock on the door he beat me to it and knocked first. I looked up at face plain and his eyes void of emotion. I turned away and look back towards the stomach dropped when I'd heard the lock turn. The front door swung open. My mother stood there before me in her eyes widened once they'd landed on Sesshomaru. I opened my mouth to speak, but I was cut off.

"Myoga!" she screamed.

In seconds Myoga stood behind my mother. Dripping wet with a towel wrapped tightly around his waist. His face darkened the moment he'd seen Sesshomaru. He charged towards us, his claws sharpened and fangs bared. I erected a barrier, glad I'd done it in time.

"Get out of the way Kagome!"

"Myoga please just listen to me! Please!"

He continued to press his claws down onto the barrier. His eyes never leaving Sesshomaru. It began to crack underneath the pressure. Myoga was strong and twice ass old as Sesshomaru. I wasn't the Miko I use to be. My barrier wasn't going to hold for long. It continued to crack. I felt something slip around my waist. I felt myself being pulled had me tucked into his barrier cracked and Myoga came grabbed a clawed hand, while the other was buried in his shoulder. I pried myself away from his side, grabbing Myoga's hands and looking him in the eyes.

"Myoga please, I'm here, and I am safe. He is not come to fight. You don't need to do this, please. Let's just talk."

He looked at Sesshomaru, then back at me. He pulled his hands away, wiping Sesshomaru's blood on his towel. He walked back inside. I looked up at Sesshomaru, his face hadn't changed but I could see the anger in his eyes; and the anger had started to seep into the mark. I glanced at his wound before I looked back at my mother, stepping inside the followed suit behind me closing the door. My mother ran to me, enveloping me in a tight hug. She looked me in the eyes, I could see the tears beginning to well up.

"I was so worried about you," she whispered

She looked away from me, looking at Sesshomaru. She let go of me, going straight towards him. A crackling sound echoed through the air. I stood there, my eyes wide and mouth agape. She had slapped him. I could hear a deep menacing growl coming from within him. I flinched as my mark burned.

"How dare you!"

He continued to look down at her.

"You did such terrible things to her! Then you track her down as if she was some animal, and steal her away; you come here walking in as if you have done nothing wrong."

I inserted myself between the two of them. I looked at them as they both glared at one another.

"Mama, please. I need you to calm down."

She glared at Sesshomaru one last time, before heading back to Myoga's side.

"Kagome I'm glad that you've come home, but what I don't understand is why you have brought him. You know what he is."

I breathed slowly, trying to get my thoughts together. "Things... are different now. I brought him here with me. So that he could help me get my things."

"WHAT!?" My parents yelled in unison.

Myoga took a step forward. "You expect me to just let you go with the monster that I have been trying to protect you from for so can you just go with him? You know what he has have you forgotten? Has he brainwashed you Kagome?"

"No, I have not been brainwashed. I am choosing to go with him...for my own reasons."

"Kagome you told me yourself that he is a monster. That he has done and said all of these terrible things. Please, don't go with him...I can't lose you again."

"Mama you aren't going to lose me I-"

"So then stay," Myoga interjected.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. " The day that I'd woken up. I knew that I wouldn't be able to see my friends again and it much that I thought I wouldn't be able to go wasn't a moment that passed that my heart didn't ache for them. All of that pain and sadness was because I was without them. It felt as though a part of me was missing. It still hurts to stand here and talk about it. There was someone who's spent centuries looking for me. For all that time he had been searching for me he had been sad and alone. He was in so much pain. I had already abandoned someone who needed me. I couldn't do that one should ever have to feel that kind of pain. I promise you that I am going to be safe, and so will all of 's what matters the most. He gave me his word. So, I'm trusting him and now I'm asking both of you to trust me."

They looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Myoga seemed as though he could be convinced, but I could tell by the look on my mothers face, that she couldn't accept what I had said.

"Kagome I can't just let you-"

Myoga put his hand on her shoulder stopping her. His eyes softened.

"She's right Aoi. We should have faith in her." He looked over to Sesshomaru."If he is to ever hurt you in any way. I will kill him, and I will be checking on you."

Things had not gone the way I had planned. I hadn't expected Myoga to attack him. Or my mother to slap him. I understood why they had, but honestly... I didn't like what either of them had bothered me... more than it should have. I grabbed Sesshomaru's sleeve pulling him towards the door. I opened it, letting him walkthrough. I turned to them, saying one last thing before I left.

"I'm sorry we shouldn't have come."


	24. I needed to think

Chapter 24: _I needed to think_

* * *

Our trip back to the apartment had been a silent one. The smell of distress clouded her usual scent. It bothered me for some reason. Once we'd arrived she had asked to use the bathroom and had locked herself in. Spending about two hours in there. It had become her favorite place to go. Other than the couch. That was two days ago. She was in the bathroom right now as I laid in bed. Thinking about what had taken place the day before. I never had expected to see Myoga. Especially not with his curse broken. The flea had been keeping her from me for all these years. I clenched my fists if I had not given the Miko my word. Not to harm those she cared about. Myoga surely would have lost the limbs, he dared to touch me with. I touched the spot where his claws had penetrated. I felt weak, standing there letting them do as they wished. I exhaled; if only I had not given my word. However, I surprised myself with the level of restraint I had shown.

**"You kept your word."**

"I am a demon of my word."

He said nothing else. Which I had surprised me. No threats, no lectures. Just four simple words. I stood grabbing the dress that hung in the back of my armoire, exiting my bedroom. I walked towards the bathroom door. Reaching out for the door handle, but before I could reach it the door opened. A wet Miko stood before me. Her hair was still up, but the stray wet hairs clung to her face and neck. Her cheeks were red, from the hot water. She held onto the towel tightly, as she avoided my gaze. Distress still lingered o her mingle in with her scent.

"I'm sorry. I should have said that sooner " She said.

I raised a brow. "For?"

"For what he did. For what they both did. I did not expect them to welcome you with open arms, but..."

The apology had surprised me. Her words were genuine, and I could see the regret in her eyes. I sniffed the air. Melancholy mixed in with her scent.

"I accept your apology. However, it is not necessary. To them, I had hurt and taken something very precious to them. So I understood. It angered me, but I am fine. If not for our agreement, blood would have surely been spilled." I held the dress out to her. "Put this on. We will be going out."

"This is the second dress you've given me. Why do you have women's clothes lying around? Do...women come here often?"

I looked at her. "Are you jealous Miko?"

She rolled her eyes, closing the door. I seated myself on the couch, waiting for her to come out. I wasn't sure why I had bought this dress either. I had seen it in the window many months ago and felt the sudden urge to purchase it. I heard the door open. I turned my head in her direction. Looking her up and down. My eyes stopping low, the dress hugged her thighs. As well as her curves...her breasts. I could hear my beast purring in approval. She must have felt my eyes roaming over her body. She crossed her arms attempting but failing to cover herself. I pried my eyes away from her.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"We were not able to retrieve your things. Therefore you will need to get new things."

"I did not ask you to do that."

"You cannot live here without having your own things."

"Maybe you could just keep pulling out women's clothes from nowhere."

"Be careful Miko. You sound as though you are jealous."

She put her hands on her hips. "I have no reason to be jealous Sesshomaru."

"Hn."

****N****

Hours had gone by and we'd visited many stores, buying many things. Things which I ended up carrying back to the car each time. I wondered if this was how Ah-un had felt. Being a young girl's mule. I had had been reduced to a mule with a bank account for the Miko. As long as she kept _him_ quiet...I did not mind. I wondered if she dragged me along like this to annoy me. Or, simply because she just enjoyed being outside.

She walked beside me, leading me to yet another store no doubt. Humming a song softly. Her carefree manner reminded me f much of Rin. My eyes wandered to the small crescent moon mark that sat on her neck, but it was soon covered up. She pulled the hair tie from her hair. Letting her tresses fall around her. Running her fingers through it. Men passed by, giving her lust-filled stares. I caught myself moving close to her, glaring at them. The whispers of the women on the street caught my attention.

_"Isn't that Sesshomaru Taisho?"_

_"Who is that woman he is with?"_

_"Do you think that could be his girlfriend?"_

Their nosiness was beginning to irritate me. The more people we passed, the more the whispers came about. I glared at the man who dared to take a picture with his phone. I grabbed the Miko by the hand. Pulling her in the opposite direction.

"What's going on?"

"You have done enough shopping for now. We can continue this another day."

I picked up the pace, causing her to jog behind me. It kept on like that until we'd reached the car. Perhaps this was a mistake.

****N****

We had made it back before the rain began to fall. The Miko had placed all of her bags inside of my bedroom. I would make space for them at a later time. Abruptly moving someone into your life was more difficult than I had expected it to be. I sighed walking in into the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of Shochu from the cabinet, pouring myself a cup. I took a sip. The whispers of the woman were on my mind. They thought the Miko to be my woman; Hn. Is that how we seemed?

I felt my phone vibrated in my pocket, I took it out looking at it. A picture of the Miko and I had already been posted. Her eyes were bright, a small smile sat upon her lips. She had seemed so blitheful... beautiful even. I dropped the phone onto the counter. Beautiful? What was I saying? What had come over me? I downed the glass pouring another. I had to snap out of it, this was not who I was. I had fawned over her the entire day. As if I was a boy in his adolescence. I unconsciously squeezed the glass, crushing it in my hand. The shards scattering across the table. The sound of a door slamming pulled me from my thoughts.

"Sesshomaru. What was that about just now?"

I downed another drink. "It is none of your business Miko."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, it is none of your business."

"My business or not. You do not speak to me that way."

"This is my home, and I will speak however I please woman."

She folded her arms. "Unfortunately, I live here as well."

"Then feel free to leave."

"For a moment there I'd actually thought you were a decent person, but you went and proved me wrong."

I scowled. "That was your own mistake. Stop making the mistake of thinking I am a good person."

"God! What is wrong with you!?"

"You Miko! You are what is wrong with me! You being here changes things, and I do not need change. The way things were, were fine before you came along ."

I threw the phone to her. She'd caught it looking at its screen. She stared at me. A mixture of anger and confusion played out on her face.

"You're angry about a goddamned picture!?"

I walked towards the door, opening it. I left slamming the door behind me. Leaving a stunned Miko behind...I needed to think.


	25. This had gotten more complicated

Chapter 25: _This had gotten more complicated_

* * *

I laid on the couch, the comforter wrapped around me. I looked out of the window, watching the rainfall over the city. It was a peaceful scenery. I sighed, trying to understand why. Why was he like this? He had stormed out over something so small. Just when I thought he was starting to become a decent person. He became the old Sesshomaru all over again. I heard the door open and close. I sunk deeper into the couch. Pulling the comforter over my face. I did not want to deal with another argument right now. I could hear his footsteps getting closer by the second. Until the finally came to a halt. I didn't need to look to know he was standing right beside me. I heard footsteps, he circled the couch. Sitting by my feet. I pulled the cover down slightly peeking out. Seeing red eyes staring back at me. He Tore off his shirt and pants. They had been soaked in the rain. He wrapped up his hair into a bun. It to was soaked an wet. I slid off of the couch, going to the bathroom and back. Returning with a towel in hand. I handed it to him. He took it, wiping off the excess water.

**"I apologize for him," **he said without looking at me.

"How many times are you going to have to apologize?"

**"This is difficult for him; accepting this."**

"He doesn't have to accept anything. I would just like to not be lashed out at... does he hate me that much?"

His eyes softened. **"He is angry not with you, but with himself."**

"I am not asking him to change completely. Just to be a decent person. I haven't been here for too long and I'm already tired."

He sighed. **"He is changing, but slowly. PLease... bare with him. He is very stubborn. A family trait as you can see."**

I sighed. "He may not want to kill me, but I see no other change than that."

**"You are wrong. He protected you. Your barrier had broken, and he pulled you out of harm's way. Leaving us wide open."**

"Myoga would not have hurt me."

**"He was not going to take that chance. He may not have realized he'd done it. Protecting one's mate is second nature. It is like breathing for us."**

"Still he acted that way over a simple picture. I did not see anything wrong."

**"No. Not because of a picture, but what he felt when he saw that picture. What he felt wasn't anger, but content. That is why he had become so angry. He knew what he was feeling...his two greatest struggles. Humans and love. He loved our ward but he never once showed it to her. He cares for you, but he is unable to show it." **

I laid there listening to what he'd said. He always had to make things so difficult.

"I don't want this," I whispered.

I pulled my knees to my chest feeling his eyes on me, he waited for me to go on.

"I don't want to be seen as a mistake every time that he looks at me." I ran my fingers over the mark. "I can feel his regret. I don't want to live like that."

**"He does have regrets, but you are not one of them. He regrets that way he had handled things, all those years ago. He regrets hurting you... he does not know how to deal with you or his feelings for you. He spent 500 years trying to ignore how he felt, but now that you're here. He cannot run from it any longer. He has no choice but to face this head-on. He does not do well being cornered. I apologize if it sounds as though I am making excuses for him. I only want you to understand why the fool is the way he is.**

I nodded, but I said nothing. I only continued to stare out of the window, watching the rainfall.

**"Tell me what it is that you do want."**

"I want a normal life," I said.

**"There is more."** He placed his hand on top of mine.** "Tell me."**

I bit the inside of my cheek. "I want what every woman wants," I whispered.

In one swift motion, he had grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me onto his lap. Our faces only inches apart. He gently ran his claw against my bottom lip. His skin felt cold against mine.

**"You want to be loved," **he whispered.

I didn't know what to say. I never did when I was this close to him. He slipped his hands around my waist, nuzzling the crook of my neck. I could hear him inhaling my scent. He held me tighter, running his tongue over the mark. Sending shivers down my spine. I slipped my arms around his shoulders. This... felt nice. He smelled of rain. I enjoyed being held like this. Being held by him. Was it wrong for me to feel this way? He pulled away, his red eyes boring into my own. His lids fluttered shut, as he slowly inched closer, his hand cupping my cheek. While the other was on the small of my back. I closed my eyes, while my heart danced in my chest. Waiting... but the kiss never came. I opened my eyes. Wide amber orbs stared back at me. He looked so shocked and lost. His beast had done this purposely. I quickly slid off of his lap, going back to the end of the couch. I hid under the blanket, wishing I could disappear. I heard his quick footsteps fading away, hearing the bedroom door slam. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. This had gotten more complicated.


	26. smiling face

Chapter 26: _smiling face_

* * *

**AN: Honestly this wasn't my favorite chapter. No matter how many times I messed with it. I couldn't get it the way that I wanted it to be. However, I hope you all enjoy it.**

* * *

I would be returning to work today. The annual company party was tonight. The Miko would-be accompanying me to both. I adjusted my tie, looking myself over in the mirror. I had lost time again. I remember storming out of the apartment. On my way back it had all went black. I had gained consciousness. Shocked to find her straddling me, our lips almost touching. Her face was a clear picture in my mind. Her face flushed, full lips parted. My beast had clearly been playing its tricks again.

**"Every chance I hand you, you throw away."**

"I cannot deal with you today. Your lecture is not wanted. Nor is it needed."

**"Will you give in to her? Or will I have to do what needs to be done? Again."**

"My body is not your playground."

**"Our** **body."** He corrected.** " How long do you think she will wait for you? What will you do when she seeks comfort in another?"**

"She already has."

**"You are a fool. She has not lain with another. That does not mean eventually she will not leave. Kagome is a woman and she has needs. Needs we can fulfill. Needs that you continue to choose to ignore. She needs to be loved, to be cared for. She deserves to be cherished."**

"She has lain with the wolf!"

**"She says she has not. Why would she lie?"**

"Enough. I am finished with this conversation."

I opened my bedroom door, to find her standing there. Wearing the clothes I'd bought her. The plaid tan pencil skirt stopped at her mid-thigh. While the white button-up hugged her upper body. Her hair had been placed into a slicked-back low pony-tail.

_ **"She is ripe for the picking."** _

"Are you ready?" I asked, ignoring what my beast had said.

"Yes," she said without looking at me.

"Let's go."

****N****

The car ride there had been so silent, and so uncomfortably awkward. I tried my best not to think about what had happened, but it wasn't working. Our faces had been so close, and I had been straddling him. God that was so embarrassing. I had been caught with my mouth wide open. Fortunately for me, we had reached Taisho corporations, and I had something else to focus on. I stepped out of the car, pushing it to the back of my mind. It was an extremely tall building, very extravagant. A glass tower if you would. The floors were golden, along with sandstone colored walls. Walls that were adorned with paintings and plaques of all kind; very lavish. Everyone greeted him as soon as he had stepped foot into the lobby, but I could feel their eyes on me, even though it was him they spoke to. I could hear the countless whispers. They wondered who I was. Why I had come in with their boss. I followed him into the elevator. He pressed the button for the hundredth floor. I stood there patiently waiting for the doors to close.

"They're whispering, what do I tell them when they ask?"

"Nothing, because it is none of their business."

I rolled my eyes. "That seems to be your excuse for everything."

"Do not start Miko. We had a discussion about respect."

I turned my nose up at him.

"Yes. We had an agreement. I remember telling you respect goes both ways, but you've seemed to have forgotten that."

He sighed. "I apologize."

"You think you're different, but you're the same as every other man. You assume those two words will fix everything, and make me shut up. The only apology I'd like is changed behavior Sesshomaru."

The elevator doors opened and he stepped out, walking through a pair of glass doors and I followed suit. I looked around, seeing countless filing cabinets and a single desk that sat in the middle.

"Where are we?"

"My office." He said taking a seat, behind the large oak desk.

"The entire floor?"

"I enjoy my space and privacy Miko."

"I have a name Sesshomaru."

"Indeed you do Miko."

I walked up to him, standing in front of his desk. "Are you going to explain to me why you stormed out?"

"No."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You start out decent then you push people away."

He continued to sign papers. "I do not push people away."

"So then it is just me?"

He put the pen down. " What do you expect from me? Love? Kindness? Romance? I do not know how to give someone those things."

I clenched my fists. "I never asked you for those things."

"You did not have to. You're a human woman. That is what all human women want."

"Maybe I do want those things, but who says I want them from you?"

His eyes snapped up to my face. I saw his jaw clench slightly, but he unclenched and began to write again.

"If you wish to go find another companion. I gave you my word that you could do as you wish. However, I will not be held accountable for what my beast does to your new infatuation."

"You. You mean what you do. Stop acting as if you are two completely different people!"

"We might as well be."

I looked at him, long and hard. "Just let me go."

He put his pen down once more, looking up at me. "I cannot do that."

"Why? Why can't you let me go!? You can't give me what I want; what I need. I can't give you what you want. Whatever the hell that may be. All we do is argue! Sesshomaru whatever this is; is never going to work. I can't spend the rest of my life doing this. So please, just let me go."

"I can't!"

"Why not!?"

"BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO!"

"Why Sesshomaru!? Why don't you want to!?"

"...I do not know."

I shook my head from side to side. "I don't want to do this. I don't see the point. You are just as miserable as I am."

I turned away from him, quickly walking towards the elevator.

"Miko!"

I continued on.

"Kagome!"

I stopped clenching my fists, but I began to walk again I swung the door open, pressing the elevator button. I stepped in, pressing a random button so he wouldn't know where I had gone. I looked up seeing him standing there behind his desk. Our eyes locked together. Until the elevator doors shut.

****N****

I wasn't sure what floor I was on. I hadn't looked when I'd pressed the button. I just wanted to get away for a while. I stepped out taking a look around. There were few people on this floor. When I'd arrived, very few people had noticed. Those who did had almost instantly gone back to their work. I continued to look around, accidentally bumping into someone. I looked up ready to apologize, but my mouth wouldn't move. A wide-eyed wolf stared back at me, I smiled seeing a familiar face. I wrapped my arms around his large frame, and he returned the hug. He pulled away, smiling at me. He held out his arm, and I took. Just as I did that day in the park. He walked me into what I could only assume was his office. It was large and decorated well. It overlooked all of the city. We walked over to the couch taking a seat.

"I would ask you why you're here, but I already know the answer to that question."

I pulled the scrunchie from my hair. Shaking it out, combing it through with my fingers.

"Mhm." I leaned onto his shoulder. "I'm glad to see that you're okay. I was worried when I'd found you."

He chuckled. "I'm tougher than I look. Besides, our fights used to be much worse."

I laughed. "So I've been told."

I let out a deep sigh.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

I breathed deeply. "I told him that I didn't want to do this; that there was no point."

"What exactly is it that you don't want to do?"

I sat up. "Not being able to live my life the way I want to. I want a normal life. I had had it all planned out. I wanted to fall in love, get married and have children, but apparently, I just wasn't meant to have any of those things. Instead, fate decided to condemn me to a life of being toyed with... I told him to let me go."

I felt his body stiffen. "What did he say to you?"

"He told me couldn't do it...that he didn't want to. When I asked him why he told me that he didn't know why. I stormed out and ended up running into you after...I don't know what he's feeling."

"His emotional spectrum has been stuck on one setting for centuries. You being around has changed that, and it's foreign to him."

I laid my head on his lap, looking up at him.

"But, how do you feel about all of this?"

I sighed. "To put it plainly I am angry. Everything in my mind is a mess and it is giving me a headache."

He ran his fingers through my hair. "Kagome Higurashi, the woman who stole the hearts of many men."

I laughed. "I wish I didn't. Ugh, this is all so confusing. I wish I could go back to the feudal era. Everything was so simpler then."

"I hear you there," he said softly.

I yawned, feeling my eyelids getting heavy. I laid there, enjoying the silence and his presence. This was so peaceful. I wasn't sure how much time had past, but I didn't really care. His fingers massaged my scalp, and I could feel myself slipping. My eyes closed slowly, the last thing I saw was Kouga's smiling face.


	27. She needs her space

Chapter 27:_ She needs her space_

* * *

I gently slipped her head off of my lap. Placing it out the couch, careful not to wake her. I took off my jacket, covering her up. I left my office, locking the door behind me. I made my way to the elevator. Walking inside making my way up to his office. I made my way out, walking over to the glass door pushing it open. He stood there staring out over the city, in the same spot he always had.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

"You know why I am here."

"If I did, I would not have asked wolf."

I scoffed. "I'm here because of Kagome."

His yokai flooded the room, I released mine as well. They clashed pushing against one another.

"Why are you doing this to her?"

I could see him tense. "She went to you."

"Of course she did. She needed someone to talk to. It's not as though she could talk to you. Haven't you done enough to her already?"

He looked over his shoulder. "What happens between us is none of your concern."

"Kagome is my friend and I care about what happens to her."

He fully turned around, facing me. "So now you've become her confidant. Was bedding her not enough?"

"Sesshomaru I did not sleep with her! What is it going to take for you to see that?"

He took a step forward. "Then explain to me, why was her scent in your apartment. Mixed in with your seed!"

"That doesn't matter!"

"Oh, now it doesn't matter. Get out of my office. The only reason you are still here is that you're an asset to this company."

"Sesshomaru you don't scare me. You never have, and the only reason I am here to make you see what you're doing to her!"

"I have done nothing to the Miko!"

"Nothing? You don't even call her by her name! She is just an object to you. Some toy you accidentally picked up and can't put down, and you won't even tell her why! I know what it is like to deal with your bullshit. I've had hundreds of years of practice, but Kagome cannot deal with this and she shouldn't have to. Yes, she is strong and she is kind and at times too forgiving, but sooner or later the way you treat it going to get to her. Hell, it's already started to. Just let her go Sesshomaru."

"Why? So you could have her?"

"So she can have the life she really wants."

"She is mine."

I scoffed. "She is only yours when someone else is interested."

"She will never love you. Not in the way you want her to." He said.

I clenched my jaw. "You can't give her what she wants."

"And you're willing to?"

Our yokai wildly thrashed against one another. I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose. I reigned my yokai in. He waited, doing so as well.

"I did not come here to argue with you. I just need you to see what you're doing to her. How much longer do you think she'll put up with this? Knowing you, all you do is order her around, and not take into consideration how she feels. She wants someone to love her Sesshomaru. She wants an actual life with children. Can you stand there and tell me you can give her those things?"

He stood there only staring at me.

"That is what I thought."

****N****

I waited a few minutes before I quickly making my way through the door, into the elevator. I pressed each button, smelling the air as the doors opened. Trying to figure out as to where she went. I assumed I would have to check the entire building. Until the elevator doors opened, and she stood before me... holding the wolf's jacket. She stepped in uncertainty in her eyes. I pressed the button for my office floor.

"You two were arguing just now. So much It had woke me up. We all felt it... did you hurt him?"

"No. You went to him," I said.

"Was there somewhere else that I should have been?"

I said nothing, waiting to reach the top floor. The elevators opened. She walked out, traipsing through the door. She sat on the couch, placing the jacket beside her. I could hear the soft grumble of her stomach.

"You are hungry. You need to e-"

"Please don't. Don't act as if you care about me." She pushed her hair out of her face. "It's exhausting, trying to deal with your mood swings."

"I care."

"About what exactly?" she asked.

"Your wellbeing," I replied.

"You have a very funny way of showing it Sesshomaru."

"This is difficult...having feelings is difficult."

"It's hard to accept you're capable of feeling anything other than anger."

"Anger is the emotion that I relied on the most... I am angry that his scent is all over you."

She looked at me. "Why does it matter whose scent is on me?"

"I do not like it."

She stood, walking towards me. "Why?"

"It bothers me."

She took another step closer. "Why?"

I grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her closer. "Another males scent should not be on you."

"Why?" she asked again, more breathlessly.

I looked into her eyes, she was searching for answers and she would not stop until she found them.

"Why are you so curious as to how I feel?"

I could see the question had caught her off guard, a slight blush graced her cheeks. Whilst she was still angry.

"I-I..."

"Now it is you who doesn't know what they are feeling."

I released her. She quickly went back to her seat on the couch. I could hear her heart beating loudly from where I sat.

_ **"Look at what you can do to her."** _

"There is an event tonight. We will be- Would you like to attend?"

She looked up at me, shocked. "Is this some sort of joke?"

"No. Just a question."

"No. Is this supposed to be a joke? Did you think that inviting me out to some party would fix this? You're such a man."

She stood once more, grabbing the wolf's jacket. "I will be there. Just not with you."

I watched her walk away, I reached out to stop her from leaving.

**"Let her go for now. She needs her space."**


	28. Find a way to make this right

Chapter 28:_ Find a way to make this right_

* * *

He had told me to let her. That she needed her space, and I did but why? Why did I want to go after her? To tell her to stay. I wasn't supposed to feel this way... not for her; not for anyone. I went to my chair sinking down into it. Loosening my tie, I exhaled deeply pinching the bridge of my nose. Watching her leave I had to restrain myself from breaking something. As I sat there, I wondered where she was. What she was doing? If she was okay. I had only ever worried about one human in my life. Now, there was another. I wanted to go get her and bring her back, but she was angry with me and I didn't want that. Nor did I like it. When had I started to care for her this way? When had things become so complicated?

**"You need to stop this. You're pushing her too far. There is only so much I can do when you make a mess of things. You need to find her and apologize. Grovel if that is what it takes. However, this needs to be the last time you will have to apologize."**

"I do not know how to fix this," I whispered harshly.

**"That would imply that you want to fix this. Have you finally accepted the truth?"**

I said nothing. Unsure of what I should have said.

**"Do not shy away from this. Pushing her away will only hurt you both."**

"I do not know how to do this. I do not know how to give her what she wants. I haven't for the last 500 years."

**"That is because you have never tried."**

"I have done nothing but push her away. It is obvious that it will happen. It is a cycle."

**"You will not know until you try. All cycles can be broken."**

"What is the point!? Why even try!? The Miko would be better off without me"

**"You love her. That is the point."**

Again, I said nothing.

**"Do you remember that day we had decided she was ours? She was unlike any other human, we had ever seen. S** **o beautiful and carefree; kind. **

**None matched her bravery. She never hesitated to tell us off when our paths crossed with the half breed. She had the most intoxicating scent, even today it stills riles us. ** **She does things to us. Things that no other woman demoness or human. ** **Can you recall a time when you've ever felt these emotions? Jealousy, content, need. One look from, a simple smile. That's all it takes for you to break inside. ** **We would give her the world if she asked for it. I will say this again. She is all we want, all that we have ever wanted. We won't ever truly be happy until she is ours completely."**

For the third time, he had rendered me speechless.

**"Find a way to make this right."**


	29. I had to try

Chapter 29: _I had to try_

* * *

I had stormed out of Sesshomaru's office. Returning to the 95th floor. To find Kouga sitting in his office. I handed his jacket back to him.

"Thank you." He said with a smile.

I sat on the edge of his desk. "I heard that there is supposed to be an event tonight?"

"Every year we throw a big soiree. To celebrate the company being number one. As it always has been. Sesshomaru's way of saying screw you to the other C.E.O's. They have tried to surpass us but fail repeatedly. To add insult to injury he invites them, and stupidly enough they all show up. Why do you ask?"

"Will you go with me?"

He gave me his famous lopsided would grin. "Are you asking me out on a date? I don't think your boyfriend would like that."

I picked up a pen from his desk, chucking it at him. He laughed catching it.

I rolled for my eyes. "I do not have a _boyfriend_, but seriously would you like to go with me? You're my only friend here, and I could really use a distraction right now."

He rolled up his sleeves to his elbows. "It would be my pleasure, but we should do something about this," he said gesturing to me.

I stood, my hands flying to my hips. "What do you mean by this?"

He chuckled. "Well, for starters you need a dress and you definitely cannot wear your hair that way."

My mouth hung open, half smiling. "Are you calling me ugly?"

He stood up from his chair, walking around his desk; holding out his arm to me, and I gladly took it.

"C' mon. When I'm done with you, you'll be the most beautiful girl there."

****N****

Two and a half hours. That how long I had been sitting in the waiting area, with the other men. I could relate to their groans of agony. Being trapped in this hell. They were ready to go and so was I. Kagome had insisted that she do her own hair, but I fought against it. I thought I'd do something nice for her. Since she was in such a foul mood earlier, but I was slightly beginning to regret that decision. The waiting chair was uncomfortable; my ass had fallen asleep, and the countless scents flying through the air stung my nose; all the women had seemed to do was gossip about foolishness. I leaned my head back, covering my face with a magazine.

"Kouga."

My head shot up, the magazine falling to the floor.

"Thank the gods, you're finished."

"I wanted to do my own hair remember? You insisted on taking me to Hayato's."

I sighed, getting up; stretching. "Yeah, don't remind me." I grabbed her by the hand. "We only have three more hours until the party starts. We have to hurry." I said smiling back at her.

* * *

I sat on my newly bought couch waiting for her to come out. She had taken about an hour trying to find the perfect dress, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed spending this time with her. Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. It was enough knowing I could make her happy this way. I knew I would never have her the way I wanted to... but this was sufficient. I leaned my head back, daydreaming of our adventures in the feudal era. It had been centuries since I'd had this much time alone with her. I chuckled inwardly. Not since I'd kidnapped her so long ago. I heard my bedroom door open, I turned seeing her. She was stunning. I had never seen her look more beautiful. The sleek black dress clung to her every curve. A slit ran up her left thigh, exposing her slender leg. A single strap hung over her shoulder. While the other side curved over her breast. The two sides connected by a slight v-plunge. Her now shoulder-length hair, framed her face beautifully. My mouth watered at the sight of her. I bit my tongue, trying not to lose control. Her scent already had an effect on me... seeing her like this, only made it worse.

"Do I look alright?"

"Alright? Kagome, you look beautiful." I said breathlessly.

She smiled brightly. "Thank you."

I stood, adjusting my blazer. I grabbed a small bag off of the coffee table, handing it to her. "I picked this up while you were dress shopping."

She slipped her hand into the bag, pulling out a slender black case. I set the bag down, watching her eyes light up as she opened it.

"Kouga... you didn't- I can't accept this."

I gave her a small smile. "I'd be insulted if you didn't."

"No really, you shouldn't have. You didn't have to do any of this."

I shrugged. "I know, but this was my treat. I have the money-"

"So do I. I could have gone home for what I needed." She interjected.

"It's no trouble at all. It's not like I have someone else to spend it on. Besides, you deserve to be treated like this." I took a step closer to her. "You deserve this and so much more."

I took the diamond necklace from the case, placing it around her neck. Next, the earrings. I placed a soft kissed on her forehead. I looked into her eyes. They held a trace of sadness. She knew why I'd done all of this.

"It's alright. They're all gifts," I said. "From a friend."

She opened her mouth to speak, but I shook my head. I wanted to kiss her, to hold her, and to make her mine... but I didn't. It wouldn't be right. I knew where her heart was, and it wasn't with me.

"It's fine." I lied. "C' mon, let's go have a good time." I held out my arm and she took it with a smile.

****N****

It was very silent. Neither of us said anything. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. Watching him as he stared out the window of the limo. I had been oblivious again. I had been so caught up in spending time with him. I hadn't actually thought of what me being so close to him actually did. He did all of this out of love. Knowing I didn't love him back... not in that way. I sighed... wanting someone who didn't want you back. The irony. I too looked out the window. Watching the buildings go by. I stayed like that for a while. Until the limo came to a stop. I could hear the loud screams coming from outside. The flashing lights coming from the cameras. I turned to face Kouga.

"Why are there so many of them, and why are they so loud?"

He grinned at me. "They came to see Tokyo's finest."

He opened the door, stepping out. He held his hand out to me. I took it, sliding out as gracefully as I could. We walked down the carpet. I tried my best to ignore the paparazzi and the screaming civilians. When in all honesty it was so overwhelming. You'd think the people attending this party were celebrities. We'd finally made it inside, the large double doors closing behind us. I looked at him seeing him smile. I looked away from him, seeing the long staircase. Looking back down at the black stilettos on my feet.

"If I'm going to make it up those stairs, these will have to come off."

I could see him looking around. He'd swept me off of my feet; literally."

He grinned at me, crouching down. "For old times sakes?"

I grinned back, he'd lept to the top of the staircase setting me down. I smoothed out my dress.

"It has been a while since you have done that," I said.

"I've missed doing it."He knocked on another pair of large double doors. They cracked open, he whispered something to the doorman. They opened slowly, revealing a room full of people. Countless chandeliers hung from the glass ceiling. A dual staircase led down to the dance floor, and the tables as well. Intricate patterns decorated the floors. White and gold tapestries hung from the walls. Everything looked as though the entire room had come from a fairytale. I felt Kouga's hand on my back. I snapped out of it. Walking through the doors with him.

"Now introducing, Kouga Ookami and Kagome Higurashi."

Applause came from all around us, but it soon died down and they soon went back to their mingling. Kouga led me down the left staircase, to a table seated by the window. I seated myself, looking out at the beautiful view.

"I will be right back. There are some people I need to say hello to." I nodded watching him walk away. Turning my attention back to the city below. I hummed along with the music, swaying slightly.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

I knew that voice. I smiled so hard my face hurt. He took a seat in front of me. Giving me a smile, those familiar crows feet smiling as well.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" he asked.

"Who would be happy to see a decrepit such as yourself."

He chuckled, feigning being hurt with his hand over his heart.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Your _mate _invited me."

I rolled my eyes when he'd said, mate. "And why would Sesshomaru do that?"

"That, I am not sure."

"Is mama here?" I asked hopefully.

"She decided to stay, but she sends her love."

"I don't blame her for not coming."

He took my hand in his own. "How are you feeling?"

"Well, better. Thanks to Kouga."

"Trouble in paradise? Will I have to kill him?"

"That would imply that there was a paradise, to begin with, and no. There will be no killing of any sort Myoga."

"You know that you could always come home."

I gave him a sad smile. "Maybe I'll just have to take you up on that."

He stood. "It is time for this decrepit old man to retire. You took your sweet time getting here, and I miss my wife dearly. Truth be told I only came to check on you. Unless... you wish to come home now?"

I gave a small smile. "I couldn't leave my date behind."

He smiled placing a kiss on my forehead. "You know where to find me."

I watched him walk away, soon standing up after. I had spent the entire day with Kouga. It had been so much fun. I'd even seen Myoga, but I just couldn't seem to shake this strange feeling. It felt as though something was missing. I wandered around, looking for Kouga but I'd found something I hadn't expected to. A familiar silver head of hair had caught my attention. He was surrounded by women. Human and demoness alike. They fawned over him as they were animals, but of course, he pretended as they weren't there. Still... I didn't like them so close to him. He turned around, an emotionless look sat upon his face. His eyes continued to wander until the landed one me. They widened slightly, staring at me. No doubt he had seen me when I'd come in, I guess he was too busy with his company. He stood slowly. Ignoring the protests of the women surrounding him, his eyes never leaving me. I quickly turned away, making my way to the other side of the room. I grabbed two champagne glass from the waiters' tray. Making my way to the balcony. Closing the glass door behind me. I sat on the stone bench, taking a sip from my glass. My hand flew to my mouth. This, was not champagne. It was so bitter, it made my tongue curl. _To hell with it. _I downed both glasses, the liquid burning all the way down. I exhaled, my hot breath tingled on my tongue.

"Do you know what was in that glass?"

I hadn't even realized he had found me.

"No," I said.

I could feel the alcohol already taking effect. I watched as the sunset behind the clouds. He sat beside me; I could feel the warmth radiating off of him.

"That was sake specifically for demons. It is too strong for human consumption." I heard him say.

I leaned back against the stone wall.

"What do you want Sesshomaru? Shouldn't you be inside entertaining _them_?"

I all but spat the last word. I hadn't meant for it to come out that way, but somehow...it had.

"I was giving you your space."

"Just go away. Go back to _them_." There it was again. That angry... jealous tone.

"Is that what you want?"

I scoffed. "You don't care about what I want," I whispered.

My body was on fire, my breathing became shallow. I hadn't realized I was crying, till a teardrop landed on my hand. I felt my hair being brushed behind my ear. A clawed hand found a way to my chin, tilting it upward. Dark honeycomb colored looked down at me. This time, the held something else other anger... something I had never seen in him before.

"Why do you cry?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Trying to calm my beating heart. Hearing those words that had started it all... did something to me.

"You don't care," I whispered more harshly.

"I care... more than you know." His hand slipped away, turning away from me. " I care that you are angry with me, that you've spent so much time alone with him. I care that you came here with him on your arm. That his scent is covering you. I care that you would prefer his company over my own... even though I am to blame for it all." He turned back to me. "Most of all... I care about you. I always have... I tried to deny it, and I ended up hurting you. When I wanted was for you to be by my side."

I looked over at him, my eyes sight slightly blurry. Had I heard him correctly that time? Is that how he had really felt? I could feel my eyelids becoming heavier.

"I do not know why I am telling you thins now. I know you will not remember it tomorrow."

****N****

I watched her as she laid in my lap. I ran my hand through her tresses. Her short locks slipping through my fingers like water. She breathed heavily, her skin hot underneath my fingertips. The alcohol had taken effect quickly. I turned my head hearing the door open. To see Kouga standing before me. His shoulders dropped as he laid eyes on me.

"Is she alright."

"She is fine. She has drunk too much."

He slid his hands into his pockets. "I see."

"You spent the day with her."

"I did."

"And you bought her all of this?"

"Correct."

I looked him in the eyes. "You love her, and she cares for you. It has been that way for a very long time."

"Correct again." He'd said.

"I will never let you have her. She is mine to love. No one else's."

He gave me a sad smile. "I know that... I have known that for some time. I'm just glad that you finally know it too."

With that, he left, closing the door behind him. I turned back to her sleeping form. I pulled her onto my lap. I stood cradling her close to my chest. I erected my energy ball, enveloping it around us. I looked down at her sleeping face. I had to fix this. I didn't know how, but I had to try.


	30. I didn't want to let go

Chapter 30: _I didn't want to let go_

* * *

I stretched my limbs, feeling around me. Everything was so soft. I slowly sat up, opening my eyes. Letting them adjust to the darkness. I was sitting in bed. Sesshomaru's bed. The moonlight spilled in through the large window. Dimly lighting only half of the room. I slipped out of the bed, shivering as my feet met with the cold tiled floor. I walked over to the window. Stepping into the light, looking down at myself. I was wearing a nightgown. Had he changed my clothes and bathed me? I leaned my head against the glass, my head throbbed.

"You are awake."

I jumped turning around. My eyes scanning the darkness. He emerged from the dark like some kind of predator. He looked me over, from head to toe. I felt so small under his intense gaze. Standing here in barely anything didn't help. His hair had been placed into a high ponytail. Wearing nothing but a pair of sweat pants. His markings glistened in the moonlight. He took two steps forward. I backed away.

I folded my arms covering my chest. "Did you bathe me and change my clothes?"

He nodded. "There is not for embarrassment."

He pointed to the table beside me. There sat a glass of water, along with two pills. I gladly took them, downing the water. The last thing I could remember was sitting at the table after Myoga had left.

"How did I get here?"

"I brought you here. You were drunk. I could not leave you unattended."

"I see."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"An entire day."

"What?"

"There is a reason demon alcohol is not meant for human consumption."

I could feel his eyes on me. My fingers slipped to my neck. The mark tingled underneath my fingertips.

"Why?" he asked.

"Why what?"

His voice softened. "Did you bed him to spite me?"

I looked at him as though he had gone mad. "Excuse me?"

He only stared at me.

"I did not sleep with Kouga. Or anyone else for that matter. Why would it even matter?"

I hadn't realized he'd gotten so close to me. He looked down at me.

"You are mine. You belong to me."

I stepped away from him. "I cannot stand you."

He stepped closer. "Yet you spread your legs for me."

"No... not for you. For him."

"It was my cock that was buried within you. My hands roamed your body. My lips that kissed your own. He can only make you swoon with sweet words. You say not for me, but for him. Did you not say that he and I are one?"

I turned away from him. "It doesn't matter because what happened that night. Will never happen again."

He grabbed me by the arm, pulling me towards the couch. I tried to pull away, but it was useless; he was too strong. He threw me onto the couch. His large frame towering over me. He held my hands above my head, his knees keeping my legs spread apart.

"If I were to whisper sweet nothings to you as he does. Touch you the same way I had that night. Would you be able to deny me, Kagome?"

I was not used to seeing that look in his eyes. Hearing my name leave his lips. It was so alien to me. I looked deeper into his eyes. Searching for some inkling as to what he was doing. Was this some sort of game. A joke perhaps. What the hell was he doing?

"Is this how the wolf swayed you to bed him?"

"Go to hell Sesshomaru. I did not sleep with him, but maybe I should have. He actually loves me. Let me leave and I'll go to him. Would that me you happy? You cannot stand the sight of me, right? A mere lowly human. Don't you want to be rid of me once and for all?"

"Is that what you think?"

"You haven't given me much of a choice... why would I giving my body to someone else even matter to you?"

He got off of me. I sat up hugging my knees to my chest, watching him walk over to the bed, laying down.

"Because it is mine."

****N****

She had not moved from the couch. Hours had passed, and I had not been able to sleep. I listened to her breathing even out. She had fallen asleep. I slid out of the bed, walking over to her. I looked over her sleeping form. She slept so peacefully in my company. Me; the demon she thought to be a monster. Her dark tresses draped over her, her lips slightly parted. As she rested on her hands. I looked at my hand trying to remember how her skin had felt a moment ago. I reached out gliding my fingers along her thigh. So soft to the touch, so warm. I felt a tightening in my loins. I snatched my hand away.

**"You have gone without her for too long. You wish to taste her. ** **You wish to touch her in more ways that one. If you do not. I will. ** **She is here. Right in front of you. Do not fight the urge. You must give in. It will drive you mad if you do not."**

I sucked in her scent. It surrounded me, giving me no room to breathe. I gripped the carpet underneath me, clenching my jaw.

"She has rutted another."

**"She has not rutted with the wolf. See for yourself."**

I went to her, rolling her onto her back. Gently enough not to wake her. I took hold of her thighs parting her legs. I pressed my nose against her core, inhaling deeply. I smelled no trace of the wolf inside of her. He had not been there. I had been wrong. Again. I pulled away. Keeping my eyes between her legs. I went back, pushing my face deeper. I inhaled once again.

**"Yes... give in. It is what you want. What we've always wanted."**

I pulled the thin fabric to the side. I could feel the heat radiating off of her folds. I flicked my tongue, tasting her. A soft moan escaped from her lips. What was happening to me? Why was I reacting to her this way? I had no trouble changing her so why? Why was this happening to me? He scent, her taste. It made my mouth water. My cock was solid. It ached to be inside her. I quickly backed away from her, my back pressing against the glass window. I could feel my lust taking over.

**"Do not fight it. We want this. You have gone too far to stop now."**

I went to her side kneeling. I shook her. Her eyes fluttered open, landing on me.

"Sesshomaru?"

She slowly sat up.

"What is it?"

I grabbed her thigh. Gripping it, causing her to gasp. I looked into her eyes. I dragged a clawed finger across her bottom lip. A blush spread across her cheeks like wildfire. She opened her mouth to speak, but I gave her no chance to speak. I knew this would not fix anything, but my words failed me at the moment. I had nothing left to do but this. I crashed my mouth down onto her own. Taking her breast into my hand. Teasing her nipple with my claws. Slipping my pants off with the other. She moaned into my mouth. Giving me entrance into her crevice. I tasted every inch, our tongues swirled together. I pulled away, her eyes were lidded and her breathing became heavy. She was in need as badly as I was. I kissed her once more, suckling and nipping at her bottom lip. She placed her hands on my chest trying to push me away. Only making me push harder. I fondled both her breasts, rolling her nipples. Her back arched in pleasure. My cock twitched as she moans grew louder. Flooding the apartment. I pulled my hands away, making her groan in annoyance. I grabbed the night-gown, tearing it off of her, along with the thin fabric that covered my prize. She laid there bare before me. Her faced flushed and eyes glossy. Her mind was clouded with lust. As was my own. I spread her legs, watching her juices cascaded over her folds. I slid a finger inside of her, her back arching more. Another moan slipped past her lips. I added another finger, watching her body roll in pleasure. I rubbed her bud with my thumb. I enjoyed watching her like this. Basking in the pleasure I made her feel.

Her breathing quickened. I could feel her walls tightening around my fingers. I thrust them into her faster. I stroked my length as I watched her cum. I pulled my fingers from her, lapping up her juices. Growling in approval. She panted heavily, her eyes shut. I grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to me. She opened her eyes. Putting her hands on my chest once again. I grabbed them.

"Do not deny me what is mine," I whispered.

She bit her lip, sliding her hands to my shoulders, straddling me. I slipped my hand into her hair. Tilting her head to the side. Grazing my fangs against her neck. I felt her shiver. I grabbed her by the hips, positioning her above me. I pressed against her as she lowered herself onto me in one quick motion. She cried out in pleasure as I filled her. She paused for a moment giving herself time to adjust. She moved her hips slowly, her walls gripping me tightly. I moved my hips along with her own, matching her rhythm. I placed my hands on the small of her back. Thrusting into her deeply.

"AAH!"

She clung to me, her nails digging into my back. I flipped her over. Pumping into her. Giving her no time to recover. Her moans mixed in with the sounds of our skin slapping together. I moaned at the way she gripped me. Something I never did. I could feel her reaching her climax. I sped up watching her breasts bounce. Her screams were music to my ears.

"Sesshomaru I'm cuming!"

The way she screamed my name pushed me even further. Her walls tightened around me as she came. I grabbed her hands, thrusting a few more times as I came. Emptying my seed into her. I laid beside her, not pulling out. I felt her relax in my arms. I pulled her closer, inhaling her scent. I growled in approval softly, as my scent covered her. The longer I laid there with her in my arms. The more I realized I didn't want to let go.


	31. That empty feeling had crept into my chest once more

Chapter 31: _That empty feeling had crept into my chest once more_

* * *

* * *

I opened my eyes, squinting at the sunlight spilling in through the window. Something soft and white draped over me. I moved my hand to touch it. It felt so soft underneath my fingertips. I blinked a few times, finally remembering where I was, and what had taken place between Sesshomaru and I. My breath hitched in my throat. My mind was reeling. All I could think of was the way he had felt inside of me. The way my nails raked against his skin... the way I felt now. So peaceful and so comfortable that I didn't want to move. My brain was working faster than I could handle, and my heart was pounding in my chest. I looked down, seeing his arm and leg draped over me. I moved slightly feeling something inside me. It was moving no... growing. His arm tightened around my waist. His tongue traced over the shell of my ear. I gasped unknowingly squeezing him, causing him to growl. I bit my lip, breathing heavily.

"L-let go of me."

"No." he growled softly.

I could feel him nipping at my shoulder. I shakily pushed away from him. Which only made him hold me closer, delving his fangs into my shoulder once more. I had yelped. It felt good but it had hurt more. He pulled out of me, quickly turning me around.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

His eyes flooded with franticness. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't find the words. I couldn't answer him. Not facing him like this. I looked down, gasping. My hands flew to my body, in an attempt to cover myself up. The only thing I'd managed to do was fall out of the couch. I quickly crawled around to the back of the couch.

"Do not come over here, I'm naked!"

"I am quite aware of that. Do you not think it is too little too late for modesty."

"I-it doesn't matter!"

I peeked over the couch. His eyes intensely set on me.

"I'm going into the bathroom. Do not look."

"I will look," he said matter of factly.

I wasn't sure If I had seen right, but I could have sworn the corners of his mouth tugged upward, ever so slightly. Even if it was just for a moment.

"Just look the other way," I said pointing in the other direction.

Which was a mistake, because he grabbed my wrist pulling me onto him. I'd found myself pressed up against him. Again. I felt him again... all of him. I'd found myself speechless once again, and my heart pounded in my chest... again. He sat up cradling me in his lap. Never taking his eyes off of me. He stood, holding me bridal style. Holding me close to his chest as he walked me into the bathroom. He sent me down, leaving right after. I blinked just standing there. What the hell was that? I turned on the water, letting it rise to the top. Turning the knobs, I sank in; the water overflowing. I exhaled as the water caressed my sore skin. I sat in the water until it became cold. Mulling over my thoughts. Going through so many emotions, ending on anger. Only to become confused again. I had enjoyed it; every minute of it. The way his hands felt on my skin. How he swelled inside me. I wanted to be touched that way. To be touched by him that way. So then why, why did I feel so terrible on the inside?

****N****

She had emerged from the bathroom about half an hour later. Water ran down her shoulders, her short tresses clinging to her skin. Her eyes glued to the floor as she gnawed on her bottom lip; a mixture of emotions mixed in with her scent.

"You want to say something. I can smell it." I said.

She took a deep breath. "Why?"

"I do not understand what you mean."

"Are being this way because we had sex? Is that all it would've taken for you to treat me like an actual person?"

"No, that is not why I-"

"Then why? Did you think you were evening the score Kouga?

"No-"

Well, you weren't because like I said before-"

"You didn't sleep with him." I finished for her. "I know that now."

She was taken aback by what I'd said.

"Why are you agreeing with me all of a sudden?"

"That doesn't matter. Just let me-"

She took a step closer. "No! It does matter because I want to know why? Why are you being so nice? Why do you believe me all of a sudden? Why... Why would you touch me that way?" she whispered the last part.

"That night at the party. You told me didn't care about what you want."

"I don't remember saying that, but it's true."

"Of you would not. You were drunk."

She crossed her arms and averted her gaze.

"I told you that you were wrong. That I did care. That all I ever really wanted was for you to be close to me. For you to be mine and only mine.

Her eyes widened slightly. "You're lying. You only care about yourself, and what you can take."

I stood walking over to here. "Just as I said that night. I care more than you know. You have made me feel more than anyone ever has in all of my centuries on this earth, and I don't want it to ever stop. I don't want to be apart from you, because Kagome... I love you. I know that now, and I should have realized that soon, but I was in denial. I should have done things differently, treated you with care. he way you deserved to be treated." I clenched my fist." Please... believe me when I say I am so very sorry for everything that I have said and done. That has hurt you or anyone you care about. I do not want to lose you... so please."

I reached out a clawed hand, but she backed away from me. "What are you saying? That you suddenly want me? To do right by me? Am I supposed to just forget how you treated me? Like I was some burden. Sex and a few kind words will not fix this!"

"Kagome I know that. So please, just give me the chance to -"

"No! No, you don't know."

She walked away from me, running into the bedroom; closing the door. Even when I had tried to fix things, I had made them worse. Why did I always ruin things? Was I too late? Had I pushed her too far?

**"This will not be easy."**

I sat on the couch, trying to figure out what I could do to fix this; to make it better. To make everything right and to make her feel better. I had finally found the words. Yet they had failed me once again. I had to prove it to her with my actions, but the question was how? My head snapped into the direction of the bedroom door. She was fully dressed and heading towards the door.

"Why are you leaving?"

She continued on towards the door. I met her halfway grabbing her by the wrist, pulling her closer to me. I leaned down to her. He skin was hot and her face was flushed.

"Please do not go."

She leaned in closer. The anger in her eyes quickly turning to sadness.

"I am free to do as I please. Remember?" she said, a quaint quiver in her voice

I released her arm. Trying to keep her here would only make things worse. She went through the door, closing it behind her.

"Dammit! Tell me how to fix this."

**"This I cannot help you with. You must figure this out on your own. To do so you will have to look deep within yourself. It is all up to you now."**

I sat down on the couch, burying my face in my hands. How was I going to do this? I had spent so much time keeping her at arm's length. Trying to make her hate me, to make her miserable. To cover up what I really felt. I wanted- I needed her. I craved her entire being and she wanted nothing more than to run from me. As much as I hated to admit it. It had hurt; my pride... but most of all my heart. I stood, looking at the spot where she last stood. I missed her presence, her scent, everything. That empty feeling had crept into my chest once more.


	32. Could things get any worse

Chapter 32: _Could things get any worse_

* * *

Why was I crying? I shouldn't have been crying. I was angry. Angry because I had been so weak. That I had given myself to him simply because he wanted me. I was sad because I had been toyed with. I had been toyed with all over again. What was wrong with me? I had some sick thing for me who just wanted to use me. Why couldn't I ever pick someone who wanted to love me the way I deserved to be? I stopped walking realizing what I'd said. I want him... I want Sesshomaru. I wanted him to love me and treat me the way that I wanted to be... the way I deserved to be. I ran, I didn't want to cry in front of all these people. I ran until my muscles ached. My lungs burned for air, but I continued on. I kept on like that until I couldn't do it anymore. I turned my head seeing the bus, I slipped onto the back. Going straight to the back. The driver must have noticed how terrible I looked. He said nothing about me sneaking on without paying. Sitting. My muscles ached in relief, once I had sat down. I put my head down, silently sobbing glad that there were no other passengers. I wasn't sure how long I had cried for, but I was tired; physically, mentally, and emotionally. The bust came to a halt. I looked up slowly.

"Last stop!" The driver called out.

I arose from my seat shakily, making my way to the door, surprised I had enough energy to do so. I looked up at the tall building. I made my way inside, pressing the button for the elevator. The doors opened and I had practically thrown myself inside. Hitting the button for the top floor. I sunk to the floor. My tears flowing freely all over again. I opened my mouth and let out a scream. So painful... so inhuman. The tears continued, causing large wet spots on my shirt. My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath between sobs. I was grateful no one had come in and saw the big mess I had become. I the elevator doors dinged open. I used the wall for support, pulling myself up. I went over to the door. Pressing the bell. I could hear footsteps coming from the other side of the door. It opened slowly. I smiled sadly at him.

"So, you've finally come home."

I threw myself into his arms, bawling once again. He hushed me, rubbing circles on my back; as my body shook. The more I cried the tighter he held me.

"Why does it hurt so much."

"Heartbreak is never easy my child. I did all I could to keep you safe. Yet I forgot to protect the most important part of all. " He took my chin between his hand and tilted my head back. "Your heart."

He released my face, putting his hand around my shoulders; leading me inside. We sat on the couch and I instantly curled up, laying my head on his lap, and like any father would. He covered me with the couches throw over. As he continued to hush me. Myoga didn't say anything, and I was grateful for that. The silence was calming around me. Even though my insides were screaming.

"where's mama?"

"She has gone to visit Souta."

"I see," I said.

I felt so empty.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. Taking a moment before I explained in as few words as I possibly could.

"History repeated itself," I said. "A stupid girl fell in love with a man she had no business being in love with. In the end, she was the one who got hurt... again." I wiped a stray tear. "I guess I just never learn." I let out a bitter laugh. You were right... I should have listened to you. I should have just stayed away from him and saved myself the heartache."

He sighed. "I would kill him, but I know that would only sadden you more. Besides, this is a new suit. I wouldn't want to get it dirty."

I laughed, and it was lighter, more genuine.

"Thank you. I needed that."

"I can smell him on you. So, I am assuming you two had sex?"

I pulled the throw over up o my nose. "Yes."

I could see the anger in his eyes. "Then he just got rid of you after using you like that?"

I sat up and looked at him. "Well no, not exactly."

His anger turned to confusion. "Then what exactly happened?"

"Well, actually he was being nice for once. He told me that he cared about me and that he always has. He even apologized."

He put his hands up. "Let me get this straight. The man told you that he wants you. that he always has, and he even apologized and that what makes you cry?"

"Whose side are you on anyway? You don't even like him. I'm your daughter agree with me. Besides, am I supposed to just forget everything that he has said and done. All because we had sex and he said a few kind words?"

"Dear, bear with me. I understand where it is you are coming from. However, do you think that you could possibly be overacting? Isn't he the one you want?"

"Do you want me to be with him!?"

"What I want is your happiness. Even if it's that arse that is the one that gives it to you."

"Some father you a-"

I ran to the bathroom, emptying the nonexistent contents of my stomach into the toilet. First I was toyed with and, now I was sick. I laid my head on my arm. Not removing myself from the toilet. I could feel another wave of bile coming from the pit of my stomach. Could things get any worse?


	33. I had to get someone who could

Chapter 33: _I had to get someone who could_

* * *

I held the black dress in my hands. Rubbing the soft fabric between my fingers. Images of her in the dress flashed through my mind. I brought it to my nose inhaling. Breathing in her scent deeply. Rubbing it on my face, a chill ran down my spine; my hairs stood on end. Every fiber of my being missed her; ached to be with her, touch her. Just being able to set my eyes on her would be enough. Two full days had already passed. The longer she was gone, the more unbearable my loneliness became. I slid off my bed. Going over to the dresser, placing the dress back into its drawer. I looked up, catching a view of myself in the mirror. I did not recognize myself. My tresses were a disheveled mess. For the first time in centuries, dark circles sat under my eyes. My shirt untucked, unbuttoned and wrinkled. I was in shambles; a pathetic mess. All because she had left me, and I did not know what to do to get her back. Which made me feel worse; I felt so useless; so helpless. I continued to stare at my own reflection. As the seconds went by, I realized I could not stand to stare at my own reflection. I couldn't bear the sight of myself, and yet I expected her to. I expected her to deal with and my many other unbearable issues. I sunk to the floor. I was a monster. Who had mistreated her; hurt her and those she cared about. A selfish monster who had been stuck in his ways. I had pushed away the one person that meant the most to me.

"She left me," I said out loud.

I knew she was gone, but it hadn't really hit me until I had said it out loud. I placed my hand over my heart. Listening to the sound of my heartbreaking in my chest. I felt something wet hit the back of my hand. I touched my face, looking back at my wet fingers. I had never shed tears. Not for anyone.

**"You are pitiful."**

"I am," I said.

**"Pick yourself up off the floor. Scrape up whatever is left of your pride off the floor and go after her."**

I gazed out the window. "You said you would not help me."

**"I will not tell you how to win her back. Just that you must get up. She will not come back this time. You must go after her and win her heart."**

"She does not want a monster like me."

**"You are a fool."**

With that, he receded back into his cage. I clenched my fists, but before I could wallow in my self-pity. I felt a strange pang in the pit of my stomach. It made my stomach churn... something was wrong with my mate. I grabbed my phone off of the bed, dialing the fleas number. I had been sent straight to voicemail. Not that I was surprised. I called again. This time he answered.

"You have some nerve calling here."

"Something is wrong with her. I can feel it. What is it?."

"That is none of your concern mutt."

"She is my mate. OR have you forgotten?" I spat.

"She left you. Or have you forgotten?"

That had stung.

"That was low. Even for you flea?

"Oh, did I hurt your feelings? Good, it is not nearly enough compared to what you put her through." His tone of voice was so harsh.

"I know that and I am sorry. More than you could ever know."

"Actions speak louder than words Sesshomaru." He whispered.

"Myoga I love her. Please... just tell me; how is she?"

"She-"

_"Myoga, who's on the phone?"_

I almost whimpered at the sound of her voice. It was hoarse and so weak. I wanted to comfort her and take away her pain.

"Kagome go back to bed. The doctor said you need plenty of bed rest."

_"Alright,"_ she said more softly.

I stood. "I am coming to see her. She is sick. I need to be by her side."

"You will do no such thing. I will not let you up here. You did not see her when she had gotten here. Her tear-stained face and puffy eyes. I had to console her just to keep her from crying. You have done enough; caused her enough pain. Just stay away Sesshomaru. She has made her decision, and I have made mine."

Before I could respond to him, the line had gone dead. I clenched my jaw. I had caused her so much pain. Even though I only wanted to make it right this time. How could I fail so miserably? He meant what he had said. He was not going to allow me up into the apartment. Which meant I had to get someone who could.


	34. How in the hell was I supposed to tell Kagome

Chapter 34: _How in the hell was I supposed to tell Kagome_

* * *

My condition had only gotten worse over the past two days. My symptoms were so random at times. So far I'd gotten a fever, chills, my body ached all over. All in the span of two days. My joints popped when I moved too much. It's as though my own body was turning on me. Myoga had called in a favor to an old friend of his. Some demon doctor. Who happened to be a doctor. He had taken my blood to run some tests. Until we got the results back. I had been sentenced to bed rest. Which I hated so very much. I felt so useless just laying here all sickly. My skin was paler than usual, I couldn't walk for long periods of time, and it hurt to speak. My throat was sore as it had ever been. I let out a deep sigh, rolling onto my back. Trying to make myself more comfortable. I stretched my limbs, ignoring the pain. I rubbed the empty space next to me.

"Such a big bed, for one person," I whispered hoarsely.

My mind wandered to him. I couldn't help but do so. Despite how angry I had been; I still am. He still plagued my mind. The mark had felt sold so since I had left. I wondered if he was okay. I wondered what he was doing. Most of all I wondered if he was thinking about me. I wondered... if he would come for me. Did I want him to? I sighed, he wouldn't come for me. Sesshomaru wasn't like that. He'd spent centuries chasing after me. I doubt he'd chase me again. I left him. No man would come after someone who had flat out left them. No doubt that had hurt his pride. I had done that twice now. He wouldn't be back for the third time. I pulled the covers up to my chin, looking around my empty room. It was so lonely... and I hated it. I missed him, and I hated that too. Why couldn't I just turn these feelings off? I could feel the tears coming again. I roughly rubbed them away. I barely had any energy, to begin with. I wasn't going to waste it on crying again; for the hundredth time. I felt a tickle in my throat, that I couldn't get to go away. A tickle that turned into a coughing fit. I covered my mouth, trying to muffle the sounds. So Myoga didn't come running in again. I pulled my hand away from my mouth. Seeing my blood sitting in the palm of my hand.

"What the hell?"

I slid out of bed, trying my best not to fall over. I opened the door peering out, making sure Myoga wasn't close. I tiptoed across the hallway and into the bathroom. I quickly washed the blood off of my hands and out of my mouth. I grabbed a towel drying them both. I looked at my reflection. I looked so feeble. It seemed as though I would break at the slightest touch. What was wrong with me? I let out a long deep sigh, exiting the bathroom. Myoga was on he phone and he seemed upset.

"Myoga who's on the phone?"

"Kagome go back to bed. The doctor said you need plenty of bed rest."

"Alright," I said softly.

I hobbled back into my room. Slipping underneath the covers. I heard the door creak open.

"How are you feeling my dear?"

"Worse than before," I said.

He stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"Can you remember when you started feeling this way?"

"Two days ago. I had run right into the bathroom."

"Was it something you ate?"

That's when it had hit me. "At the event, I had drunk demon alcohol, two glasses I think. Could that be what's making me sick?"

"To a certain extent. The most two glasses would do to you is make you sleep for a while. This... this is something else. Even your scent is off."

"I hurt all over," I whispered.

"Please tell me you haven't told mama."

"Fortunately I haven't. I don't want to ruin her time with Souta."

He sighed. "Do not worry. Dr. Akio should have the results soon, and we'll know for sure what's exactly wrong with you. Whether it's human-related or demon related.."

"Mmn." I groaned.

I could feel my eyelids becoming heavier. I couldn't fight sleep even if I wanted to. I had no energy left and my body was shutting down. They slowly shut, and I drifted off to sleep.

****N****

I let out a deep sight. She had finally come home and now she was as sick as a dog. I brushed a stray hair off her face. I lingered there for a few minutes. Sitting at her bedside, trying to figure out what could be wrong with her. I stood, turning off the light as I exited her room; closing the door behind me. I dug into my pocket, feeling for my phone. I pulled it out, answering it.

"Hello Myoga speaking."

_ **"..."** _

"Ah yes Dr. Akio, have the test results come back?"

_ **"..."** _

"Good. So, what exactly is wrong with my daughter?"

_ **"..."** _

I could have sworn my heart had stopped at that very moment. I hung up the phone without saying goodbye. How could I not have considered this as a possibility? I was such an idiot. How in the hell was I supposed to tell Kagome?...that she was pregnant.


	35. Now you have a way in

Chapter 35: _Now you have a way in_

* * *

I had been standing in the hallway for over ten minutes. There was a part of me that was... afraid of what would happen if I saw him again. The last time I was here, I had made another mistake that I deeply regretted. I let out a deep sigh, heading down the hall towards his front door. I reached out to knock but the voice coming from the other side of the door stopped me.

"Leave! You that you aren't welcome here! Not after what you did!"

I laid my hand on the door.

"I know very well that I am not welcomed here. I would not have come if it was not important."

"No! Now leave!"

I pressed my forehead against the cold iron. "Please," I whispered.

The door opened slightly, a single chain leaving it ajar.

"You've never said please for as long as I have known you. What do you want?"

I looked him in the eyes. "Let me in. I did not come here to fight or argue with you. I only came because I need your help."

The door closed, only to fully open moments later.

"Whatever it is you have t say. You can say if from right there. Do not step foot in here. I am still pissed at you."

I nodded. "I understand that what I did was drastic."

"Drastic?!" He yelled cutting me off. "Why don't you try fucking insane?

I deserved every bit of his anger. "I am sorry," I said.

"Sorry? Oh, you're sorry, for trashing my apartment? Sorry for beating the crap out of me. Maybe you're sorry for being a shitty friend. Or sorry for taking the girl I love?"

I held back a growl. "She is not yours. She never was. I will not apologize for taking what is mine. Only for what I have done wrong."

I watched as his jaw clenched, and unclenched. He exhaled deeply. "I guess that last one was uncalled for. I'm just angry. Hell, I have every right to be."

"I meant what I said Kouga. I am sorry... for all of it. I should have been a better friend. A better brother. One that you deserved. You showed me nothing but loyalty and did what was best for me. Even when I did not know what was best for myself. I am so very sorry and I will try to make up for every wrongdoing I have done in the past. I hope that everything can be water under the bridge as we move forward; families fight right?"

He stared at me for a while. The shock was evident in his eyes. I could not blame him. I surprised my own self at what came out of my mouth.

"Shit man, c'mere."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a brotherly hug; patting me on the back. He pulled away looking me in the eyes.

"I never thought I would hear you apologize. Much less apologize like that."

He stepped out of the way letting me inside.

"I guess I should apologize too. For trying to move in on your mate."

I instantly turned around. A snarl was fresh on my lips.

"You did what?"

He put his hands up in defense. "Water under the bridge remember?

I huffed sitting down on the couch, and he sat opposite me.

"So, what exactly would you of all people need help with? Did Kagome leave you or something?"

I averted my eyes from his.

"I'm sorry I didn't know. I never thought that she would have... done that."

"It was my fault," I told him.

"What happened?"

"That doesn't matter," I said. Not wanting to relive the moment. "I just need your help getting into the apartment to see her. Myoga will not let me in if he's expecting me. That is why I need you to help me."

"How am I supposed to do that? I know that we have just made up and all, but if Kagome does not want to see you."

I put my hand over my stomach. "There is something wrong with her. I can feel it. I need to see her."

"Sesshomaru-"

"Kouga, please. I am begging you."

He sighed. "Fine, but how am I supposed to get up there. I can't just drop by unannounced. it'll look suspicious-"

His cellphone rang. He showed me the screen. it was Myoga calling. He pressed his fingers to his lips; telling me to shh. He set the phone down, putting it on speaker.

_"Kouga I need you to do something for me."_

"Sure, what can I do you for Myoga?"

_"I need to step out and run some errands. I need you to come over and keep an eye on Kagome. She is not feeling well, and I do not want to leave her alone."_

He blinked a few times. "Uh, sure. I'll be right over."

_"Kouga do not let anyone else up here unless it is me. Do you understand?"_

"If you mean do not let Sesshomaru in I won't." He lied, as he looked at me.

_"Good._ _"_

"Alright, I'll be right over."

He hung up, running his hand over his face.

"Well," I said. "Now you have a way in."


	36. "I'm here."

Chapter 36: _"I'm here."_

* * *

I took a swig of whiskey from my glass. She was pregnant. Kagome was pregnant. No matter how many times I had said it to myself. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I put the glass to my lips once more. Downing the entire glass this time. I let out a deep sigh. How was I supposed to tell her? She wasn't going to survive this without him. I couldn't let him get close to her again. I had to take care of this. By any means necessary. She might hate me for it, but as long as she was alive. That was all that mattered. If I was going to get this done I had to go now, but I couldn't leave Kagome alone. Not in her current condition. I pulled out my phone, punching a number into the keypad.

"Kouga I need you to do something for me."

_"Sure, what can I do you for Myoga?"_

"I need to step out and run some errands. I need you to come over and keep an eye on Kagome. She is not feeling well, and I do not want to leave her alone."

_"Uh, sure. I'll be right over."_

"Kouga do not let anyone else up here unless it is me. Do you understand?"

_"If you mean do not let Sesshomaru in I won't."_

"Good," I said.

_"Alright. I'll be right over."_

I hung up the phone, dialing another number right after. Hoping they would pick up. This might be Kagome's only chance at surviving without that wretch.

****N****

I had made my way over here as quickly as I could. Not before getting rid of Sesshomaru's scent before I did. I couldn't let Myoga smell him on me. As far as he was concerned, Sesshomaru and I were still on bad terms. I knocked on the front door. It opened moments later; Myoga standing before me.

"Thank you for coming. I really appreciate this."

"No problem. Glad I could be of help."

He stepped aside letting me inside.

"I'll be gone for a little while. I'll let you know when I will be on my way back."

I put my hand up. "No worries. No need to rush, take your time."

I watched him as he grabbed his coat and flew out the front door. Slamming the door right behind him. I wondered where he was off to in such a hurry. My eyes darted around the apartment. It was my first time seeing it. I knew the old man was loaded, but not this loaded. I followed my nose, letting it do the work doe me. It lead me straight to her bedroom. I pushed open the door. My eyes landing on a small lump underneath a blanket. Her entire room smelled like her. I sucked it in. It was so sweet; so pleasant. I kicked off my shoes, shuffling over to her. I slowly pulled back the covers. She looked so pale. I touched my hand to her forehead. She was burning up. Even her scent was different. I leaned in getting a closer whiff. I had never smelled something like it before. She shuffled in the bed, her eyes fluttering open.

"Kouga? What are you doing here?"

Her voice was so hoarse and the bags under her eyes were deep. I sat on the bed beside her.

"Myoga had an errand to run. So, he asked me to babysit you." I laughed.

She gave me a weak smile. "Babysit huh. I didn't want you to see me like this... I didn't want anyone to see me like this."

I laid down, looking her in the eyes. My heart was aching in my chest. I wanted to make her feel better, but I knew that wasn't my place. I pulled out my phone sending a message, and quickly put it away.

"He's worried about you, you know."

She averted her eyes from my gaze.

"Is that why you're really here?" She asked. "To plead for him."

"Well, that is the second reason."

She rolled her eyes. "Always working in his best interest I see."

"Yours too," I replied.

"Oh yeah, how so?"

"He knows that something is wrong with you Kagome. He can feel it. He came to me and told me so himself."

"Mmn... how is he?"

I could see her eyes starting to gloss over. I could tell that she had regretted asking the question. As soon as it had left her mouth. "To be honest he is a mess without you. He misses you. He hasn't been to work in the past three days, and when he showed up at my apartment. He looked like a completely different person, and not in a good way."

She rolled onto her back. "He's coming here isn't he?"

"Of course he is," I said. "He's coming to collect his toy."

"You're not a toy Kags. He needs you, and as much as it pains me to say it you need him too. Maybe he can fix you whatever is going on with you."

"FIx me? You make it sound as if I was broken. I'm sick, that's all."

"No to sound like an asshole or anything, but there is something wrong with you Kagome. There is no denying that. I mean c'mon look at you."

She sighed. "Thank you for rubbing it in."

This conversation was getting more awkward by the minute. It has never felt this way between us before; strained and uncomfortable.

"He loves you,"

I could see her jaw clench.

"You think he doesn't."

She turned away from me once I'd said that.

"You love him too."

"I do." She whispered. " and It makes me angry. I'm angry with myself more than I am at him. A normal person wouldn't fall for someone like him. Much less- I'm just so confused right now, and as far as him loving me. He doesn't he just wanted what he couldn't have. He'd gotten his hands on what no one else could."

"Kagome he really does love you," I said softly.

She rolled back over facing me. Her eyes were red and puffy. She had been crying that entire time.

"If you really loved someone would you let anything get int the way of you being with them?"

"Well no but-"

"Would you ever do or say to me what Sesshomaru has?"

She had caught me there. "No I wouldn't, but this isn't about what I would do. It is about what you want. He's changed Kagome, and you know it."

She turned away again. This time sticking her heard under the covers.

I left it alone not wanting to push her any further. I would be lying if part of me said that I wasn't a little happy, with them not being on the best of terms. However, there was a part of me that wanted them to be happy... to be together. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out rading the message on the screen. It said,

_"I'm here."_


	37. Gods, what has become of me?

Chapter 37: _Gods, what has become of me__?_

* * *

I fingered the cufflink on the sleeve of my blazer nervously. I breathed deeply trying to calm my pounding heart. Part of me knew this was wrong. This would be the most terrible thing I have ever done, but another part of me. The fatherly side of me just wanted to protect his child. She would surely hate me if she were to ever find out, what I had been plotting behind her back. Things would only worsen if her mother was to find out... it didn't matter I had already come too far. This was for Kagome's good. As controlling as it may seem, she could never understand the lengths a father would go for their daughter. I looked at my watch, waiting as the minutes slowly ticked by. I wiped the beads of sweat off of my forehead. My eyes darted around the restaurant. That dammed woman was supposed to be here almost forty minutes ago. I didn't know what I was surprised about. She always had a habit of showing up late to things. I had nearly jumped out of my skin. As I felt a hand touch my shoulder. Turning around I saw her there a smile sat on her red painted lips. I looked her over. She hadn't changed much. She was exactly as I remembered her to be. The perfect picture.

"What? Are you not happy to see me?" she purred.

"I did not come here for small talk Kimi. Did you bring what I asked for?"

She seated herself opposite me, picking up the menu.

"Do you know what is good here? This is my first time."

"Kimi," I said in a warning tone.

"Myoga." She replied without looking at me.

"Did you bring what I asked for?" I pressed.

She looked up at me, resting her chin on her hands. "Of course I have it."

The glint in her eyes led me to believe that she was not going to just give it to me without anything in return.

I sighed leaning back. "What do you want for it?

She too leaned back giving me a mischievous smile.

"Come away with me." She said. More like ordered.

"Out of the question," I said dismissing it.

She pushed her platinum tresses over her shoulders "Cannot blame a girl for trying." she sighed.

"Kimi I will not play your silly games."

"You will and do you know why because I have something that you want. Where was I? Ah yes, is this for your _wife_?"

My jaw clenched at the way she said, wife. "You're still angry about me leaving you for her aren't you? I said I was sorry Kimi. Sometimes people fall out of love with one another."

"No," she said harshly. "_You_ fell out of love with me for some _human."_ Her expression darkened, but only for a moment. Before returning to her normal façade. "History has a funny way of repeating itself doesn't it?" She said with a sad smile.

I thought of Kagome when she had said that. "Indeed it does."

"First Inutaisho, now you." She sighed.

"Kimi, I've apologized so, many-"

"Did you ever really love me Myoga?"

"Yes, of course, I did." "So then why leave me. For a human at that. She is just going to die of old age and leave you alone. Seeing is as you can't mate her fully... because you've already marked me."

I watched her finger the mark on her neck. I looked away from her. Unable to look her in the eyes.

"Well, the past is the past I guess. So, if this is not for your little wife. Then who is it for? Another lover of yours perhaps?" She asked, trying to sound strong.

"No, I have no other lover. This is for... my daughter."

If I wasn't mistaken. I could have sworn that I saw a hint of hurt in her eyes. "You had children with her."

I said nothing, letting her assume what she wanted. It was not my intention to come here and open old wounds, but it seems as though I had done so anyway.

"I see. She's pregnant with the child of a demon, isn't she? If the fetus was human you wouldn't need something as strong as this." She said setting her hand on her bag.

"Yes," I whispered. "It is killing her... I have to get rid of it."

I looked up seeing the shock in her eyes. "Myoga..." she breathed. "Does she know what is happening to her? Does she know what you're about to do?"

I shook my head. "Tell her she deserves to know. You cannot kill her child without her consent. She doesn't need an abortion. She needs the child's father."

"You of all people should not be telling me how to raise a child. Your own child forsake you!"

I had managed to attract a few stares with my outburst.

"That may be true, but you should learn from my mistakes before it is too late. Your daughter would never forgive you for this. If she ever found out."

She reached into her bag, pulling out a small pouch and placed it on the table. I took it, opening the pouch; pulling out the small bottle. I uncorked it, taking a whiff of the substance.

"You brought me prostitutes root? I am supposed to give this to my daughter?"

She shrugged. "I thought it was for your wife. Besides, it will get the job done. You came to me because no one can produce it such as I. So be grateful. You have it now. I just hope that you will make the right decision. Be the Myoga that I remember."

She then stood, smoothing out her dress. Walking over to me, she put her hand on my shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze.

"Goodbye Myoga."

I let out a breath I did not know I was holding. Another person I had lied to. I had the audacity to ask the woman for something that would be killing her own grandchild. Gods, what has become of me.

* * *

Prostitutes root- a combination of plants. That rue, artemisia, marjoram, parsley, thyme, lavender, worm fern. It was an old-time contraception used to prevent or terminate a pregnancy.


	38. "Well done."

Chapter 38: _"Well done."_

* * *

I heard a vibration coming from behind me. I assumed that it was his cellphone. No doubt he had been messaging Sesshomaru.

"Kagome-"

"He is already here isn't he?" I asked

"Yes, he is. Actually, he's at the front door."

I pulled the cover from over my head, sighing.

"Let him in, or else he'll just stand there all day, and we don't need him and Myoga running into each other out there."

I watched him as he slid off the bed, grabbing his shoes. I could hear the soft taps of his feet against the tiles. As he walked towards the door. With each tap, my heart pounded harder in my chest. Each footstep meant he was getting closer to opening the door for _him_. I felt a pang in my stomach once I heard the lock click.

"Thank you." I heard him say.

I hated to admit that I missed the sound of his voice.

"You owe me for this just so you know," Kouga said.

"I know I do," he replied.

"Good. Now go make this right. I'll see you later."

I heard the door close after that. I could hear his footsteps coming closer. I slipped back underneath the covers. Hiding like some scared little child. I gnawed on my lip. He was standing right by my bed. I could feel him. His aura flooded my room. It mingled in with my own. It was as though he was caressing my soul. My body was reacting to him. Being so close to him after not seeing his for days. My body hummed in his presence. It was calling out to him. My mind, body, and soul. My entire being wanted him. To be close to him; touch him.

"Kagome."

His voice made things even worse. The way name rolled of his tongue. It made me shiver so deeply. That I felt it in my very core. I clenched my fists. Why? Why could he make me feel like this?

"Please... talk to me," he begged.

I didn't want to cry, but... him begging like that... It made me sad that he was sad. My anger, an emotion I'd become very accustomed to, over the last few days. Had disappeared just like that. All because he spoke to me; said my name. I felt sorry for him. Sorry that I had left him. Gods, what was going on me with. This rollercoaster of emotions was beginning to give me whiplash. I didn't have the energy to deal with this, but it seemed as though I had no choice. I opened my mouth to speak, but he had spoken first.

"It is alright. You do not have to speak. Listening is just fine... just being here with you like this is enough. I love you Kagome. I love you so much. You may not belive it and that maybe my fault, but it is okay; because I will never stop loving you. Even if you go on hating me. I will continue to love you. I was terrible to you, back then and now. I hurt you, physically and emotionally. If you never forgave me I would understand. I didn't know how to love you properly; to give you what you wanted. What you really needed. I was a monster who was blinded by rage. A rage that I had been holding onto since I was a child. A rage that had no business being directed at you. I acted like an adolescent who only knew how to lash out. Especially at those who only wanted what was best for me. I do not blame you for being angry with me. I deserve it; all of it and more. Someone with so much good in you should have never crossed paths with someone like me, but I was fortunate enough to have met you. I was damaged goods, unable to be fixed... until I met you. I am so very sorry for what I have put you through. For what I had put your friends through. For what I am putting you through now. You tell me to stay away. Yet I ignore what you want; how me being here is making you feel and yet I come to you anyway. I'm selfish, I hurt you and I'm not good for you. So for your sake, I will go and I will not come back. That is how much I love you. If that is what you want. If that is what you need from me, I will do it. You will never see me again. Just say the words and that will be the end of it... I will let you go."

My tears had begun the moment that he had said I love you. His sadness poured out from the mark. Only adding to my own. I could feel my heart breaking in two. I covered my mouth to keep my sobs from escaping my mouth. He sounded so miserable, like a wounded dog and he was going to leave me alone... was that what I really wanted? Would I be okay with never seeing him again? I felt his hand touch mine and I gasped. It felt like warm electricity on my skin.

"Alright then." he'd said. "I hope that you get whatever it is that you want in life... especially someone who loves you. The way that you should be.

The warmth of his hand was gone and I missed it desperately. I felt empty again. I felt him rise off of my bed. My heart pounded inside my chest, and my breath hitched in my throat. I heard him take two steps, and I threw the blanket off of me. My hand shot out and grabbed him by the wrist. It was as if my body was acting on its own. It was the fastest I had moved in the past two days. I looked up at him and our eyes locked.

****N****

Our eyes were locked. Her eyes that were usually full of life and so much emotion. Were now dull, puffy and red. As her tears seeped from them. She had stopped me. Did that mean she didn't want me to go? I soon realized her hand was as cold as ice and her skin was a sickly pale color. Everything about her was different. Her scent, look, all of it. I took her wrist in my hand. I went over to her, gently pulling her to me. Happy that she was in my arms once more. I buried my nose in her hair. Being so close to her felt right. I was no longer empty with her here. She grabbed two fists full of my shirt and sobbed into my chest. Her small frame shook violently in my arms. I held her close, being careful not to hurt her. My heart ached with each cry that slipped past her lips. She pounded her tiny fists against my chest, but I refused to let her go.

"You were going to leave me," she said.

"I thought that is was what you wanted," I told her.

I unwrapped my arms from around her. Quickly wiping away her tears. She tried to avoid my gaze. I took her face in my hands, giving her no room to look away. A slight blush crept up onto her cheeks.

I touched my nose to hers. "I have missed you so much."

What I had said caused her blush to darkened. My eyes wandered to her lips, but I resisted the urge to cover her mouth with my own. Now was not the time. She removed my hands from her face.

"I am still so angry with you." She whispered.

My lips pressed into a straight line. "As you should be, but things can be different. They will be different."

She looked me in the eyes. "Why should I believe you?"

I took her hand in my own. "Kagome, if you let me I will spend every waking moment. making it up to. Atoning for every terrible thing that I have ever said and done to you. You came along and turned my entire life upside down. Whether I was ready for it not, and I will forever be grateful for that. You have changed me for the better. I like who I am and how I feel when I am with you. You make me want to be a better man. When you're with me everything is different; everything feels different. The night before you had left was special. For the first time in a very long time, I had felt happiness; true happiness. Just holding you there in my arms, that was enough. I could have stayed with you that way forever. It felt so good; it felt right, and I do not want to lose that. kagome I do not want to lose you; not again. Please, I will make everything right. If you just give me the chance to do so. So, please... do not leave me."

She only stared at me her eyes wide and glossy; face flushed. I exhaled deeply. The silence was deafening. I could tell that she was thinking very hard about what I had said. I just hope that I had pleaded my case enough for her to give me another chance. One more chance was all I need. It was all I would ever need. I had told her I would let her go if it was what she really wanted. I had said that without thinking.

"You have hurt me."

I looked away from her. "I know," I whispered. "

"Sesshomaru..."

I could hear the uncertainty in her voice and it made me uneasy.

"You've taught me one of the greatest things, which is to love, and I just want the honor of getting your love in return. From this point on everything that I do, I will do for you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you'll have me and I hope ... that you will.

"Why do you do that?" she whispered. "You make me angry, then you come back and dig your way even deeper into my heart. You go and say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you!"

I let out a breath I did not know I had been holding in.

I moved closer to her. "Does that mean...?"

She bit her lip and nodded. I scooped her up into my arms, holding her close. unsure if I would ever let her go. I sunk to the floor with her in my arms; breathing her in. Her tiny arms wrapped around me. She looked up at me. That blush on her cheeks that I loved to see so much. I placed a single kiss upon her lips, then another on her forehead. She rested her head against my chest. I could stay like this forever and never have any protests. She was mine to love and mine to protect and I would cherish her for all of the time I had left on this earth. I could feel the growls of approval coming from within me.

**"Well done."**


	39. Everything was going to be okay

Chapter 39:_ Everything was going to be okay_

* * *

Her words were replayed over and over in my mind. _"Be the Myoga I remember." _I tried my best to shake it off. The Myoga I remember was a selfish coward. One that no one listened; trampled on. Who had his only best interests at heart. I was doing what was best for Kagome. Kimi had no right to lecture me. When her own child had disowned her long before I came along. Yes, there was a part of me that thought this was wrong, but sometimes you had to the wrong thing. To get the right results; the necessary results. I sighed, pulling into the parking lot. Turning off the car. I leaned back, taking the pouch out of my glove compartment. Gently placing it in deeply into my pocket. I slid out of my car locking the door behind me. I looked up at the penthouse. This was for her own good I kept reminding myself.

****N****

Walking over to my front door I stopped breathing deeply. Wait, this scent... NO. My eyes went wide, I rushed over to the door. Frantically trying to ram the key into the keyhole. Finally managing to get it open. I ran straight to Kagome's room.

"Goddammit." I cursed.

She was gone. Her room smelled of him; Sesshomaru. I pulled out my phone. Angrily dialing the wolf's number. My anger grew with each passing second.

_"Hello."_

I specifically told you not to let anyone in here! Most of all not him! I trusted you and you lied to me! What is wrong with you!?"

I heard him sigh on the other end of the line.

_"She loves him Myoga, and he loves her just as much. Possibly even more. Stop trying to get in between them. You made amends for letting her down all those years ago. She will be happy with him. There is no need for you to interfere. Let it go Myoga."_

"Let it go? Are you daft? Kagome does not know what is good for her. At one point she thought that Inuyasha was what she wanted, and you see how that turned out. I know what is best for her, and Sesshomaru is not it. I haven't made anything right. I haven't atoned for anything. Once I have, kagome will be thankful."

_"Myoga you sound senile. You cannot control her like this. She isn't a puppet Myoga. Kagome has never been the one to just lay down and do what someone says. You of all people should know that by now."_

"He is a monster Kouga! He has hurt her? Are you okay with her being with him?"

_"I am okay with what makes them both happy. You trying to break them up would hurt her as well. Or is it okay for only you to be able to hurt her and no one else?"_

I threw the phone to the floor, in a fit of rage. Breaking the phone. It scattering across the floor in pieces. I loosened my tie, sliding down to the floor. Closing my eyes, I tilted my head back. I was going to make this right. Everything was going to be okay.


	40. He has grown so much

Chapter 40: _He has grown so much_

* * *

My phone vibrated inside my pocket. I pulled it out seeing who it was. It was Kouga; I quickly answered it.

"What is wrong?"

_"Myoga knows that Kagome is with you. He's on some kind of redemption warpath. It sounds as though he's lost it. No doubt that he will try and find her. He probably won't stop until he has your head on a stick. He sounded very angry, like really angry. I told him he should just give up, but you know how that went."_

"I am not afraid of a flea Kouga."

_"I just thought that you should know."_ He said.

"Hn. Thank you."

I hung up, placing the phone in the glove compartment this time. I glanced over at her. Watching her out of the corner of my eye. She had fallen asleep. only a few moments after she had gotten into the car. The moonlight emphasized her pale skin even more. Her breathing had become more shallow. I had tried to wake her but her body was weak. She wasn't going to wake up any time soon I exhaled deeply. She was sick and I did not know what ailed her Or how to fix whatever it was that was making her sick. I felt useless just watching her become worse. I had to find a way to make her better. No matter the cost. Even if it meant seeing that woman again.

**"Are you sure that going to her is wise?"**

"Yes. Our mate needs help and regardless of how I feel about my mother. There is no one better suited. To heal whatever sickness she has."

**"She will not take kindly too her being human. What if she tries to harm her?** **"**

"I will never let anyone lay a hand on her," I gripped the steering wheel tightly."If she dares to try. There will be hell to pay."

**"I see."**

Her breathing quickened. I could feel the churning in my stomach once again. The heat radiated off of her skin. She was getting worse. I clenched my jaw. Pressing on the gas pedal. I had to hurry. If I kept up at this pace. We would reach there within the hour. _Hold on Kagome._

** _**N**_ **

I ran the comb through my tresses. Counting each stroke, _98...99...100. _I stared at my reflection. Why was I never enough? I'm beautiful; I have power and a vast amount of wealth. What was it that I lacked. There was always some human woman, getting in the way of my happiness. I stood grabbing my robe; covering my naked body. Traipsing out onto the balcony. I stood there bathing in the moonlight. The cool breeze whipped my hair and caressed my skin. I guess this was the only company an old shrew-like myself would have tonight. I inhaled and exhaled, letting the clean air fill my lungs. However, I stopped abruptly; almost choking. That scent...I haven't smelled it in centuries. Could it be him? I could hear the faint sound of a car engine. My eyes darted around frantically. Catching a glimpse of headlights, in the far distance. The car continued to speed down pulling into the driveway. My eyes caught a flash of a head of silver hair, but just for a moment, and that one moment was enough. I ran through my room; dashing over my bed and out my bedroom. My heart was pounding inside my chest. I ran down the stairs almost tripping in the process. I leaped to the door swinging it open. There he was; my child. I hadn't seen him in half a millennia. I took him in, holding in a whimper. He was just as I remembered.

"Sesshomaru-"

I cut my sentence short. once I saw what he was holding. A small woman slept in his arms. A human woman.

"Hello, mother," he said. "May we come in." He was as nonchalant as ever.

"Yes, of course. Come in."

I stepped out of the way. Allowing him to step inside.

"Follow me."

I led him into the den. He sat on the couch; cradling the woman in his arms. I looked at her. She was a frail, sickly seeming little thing.

"You really did take after your father I see."

"Mother," he said warningly.

I fanned him off. "Alright, I'm sorry. Old habits die hard."

"I did not seek you out to have small talk."

I wrung my hands. "Then why are you here?"

He looked up from the woman, looking me dead in the eye. "I need your help."

I tried not to looked surprised, but it was difficult. He had never needed my help for anything. Not even as a child.

"Anything," I whispered. I leaned forward. "What do you need?"

"Save her for me... I do not want to lose her."

His tone of voice was so pained, and his eyes held so much fear.

"You love her."

"I do."

I reached out to him; caressing his cheek.

"Alright."

I rolled up my sleeves, dragging the coffee table to the side.

"Come. Lay her here." I said patting the floor.

He did as he was told. He gingerly set her on the floor. I straddled the young girl, placing my hands on her temples. Leaning in closely; touch my forehead to her own. I closed my eyes, leaning away. I ran my hands across her body. Her skin was hot. Yet she was shivering, breasts swollen. Her obvious fatigue and pale skin. This all seemed so similar to me. I wracked my brain, trying to remember where I had come across such symptoms before. Then, it had come to me. I removed myself from her, sitting back on the sofa. _Could it be?_

"What is it? What is wrong with her?" He asked.

"What other symptoms has she exhibited?"

"Fever, chills-"

"Aches?" I finished for him.

"Yes," he said.

I fixed my sleeves. "Do you remember Aiko?" I asked him.

"Your old servant girl?"

I nodded.

"What of her?"

"She showed the same symptoms that the girl shows."

"What was wrong with her?"

"Aiko was an innocent girl; very naive as well. I watched her. How she reacted when he was around. She fell in love with him; a demon. He courted her and she foolishly gave herself to him.-"

"Mother what does this have to do with anything!?"

"Let me finish! As a result, she was with child. Of course, he had forsaken her, because she was a lowly servant girl. Demon and human relations were frowned upon as you know. Especially a demon of his stature. Her first trimester was a difficult one. She had fevers at dangerous temperatures. Accompanied by the chills, making her sickness even worse; the temperature clashing against one another. Without the babe's father by her side. To aid in the pregnancy she died. A demon child within a human mother is very difficult on their frail bodies. I can sense she is a Miko. You can taste it in the air; smell it in her scent. You cannot smell babe because her powers are masking its scent. There isn't a doubt in my mind that her holy powers are unable to keep her safe from the demonic energy within her womb. It is killing her."

He quickly went to her side. Looking up at me. His eyes wide, full of fear.

"How do I save her?"

"When was the last time you two were intimate?"

He swallowed. "Almost four days."

"How long have you away from her?"

"Three out of the four," he said.

"I see."

"How do I fix this!?"

"One of the simplest ways would be to rut, but seeing as she is unconscious and not showing any signs of waking up soon. You will just have to keep close to her. At all times. Envelope her in your yokai. Try your best to soothe her soul. As well as separating their two auras. This will take constant focus. A tremendous effort on your side. It will not be easy. Do you understand that?

He nodded. "I will do whatever it takes to keep herself. To keep them both safe."

I smiled inwardly. If only Inutaisho could see him now. _He has grown so much._


	41. Wait for me.

Chapter 41: _Wait for me._

* * *

I felt so warm. It was as if I was floating. So light; weightless. I could have stayed that way forever, but still, something didn't feel right. I slowly opened my eyes, coming face to face with a vast light pastel purple void. I looked around me, yet there was nothing. I looked at my body; dressed in a white robe. I was just floating there. I tried to move, which was a big mistake. I had unintentionally thrown myself into a spinning loop. Getting dizzier by the second. I shut my eyes, feeling as though I was about to throw up. I had opened them once more, realizing I had finally stopped spinning. I felt what I was sure to be a hand on my ankle.

"You really are a peculiar one aren't you?" I heard a voice say.

I looked up, trying to figure out who this woman was. She spun me upright, catching me by my shoulders. Her skin was fair, and her midnight locks cascaded down her back. Reaching to the backs of her knees.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Her voice was gentle; angelic like. It was so familiar too. I hadn't realized I had been staring until I realized how much time had passed; without me blinking. I looked away, my eyes catching a glimpse of the four red dots on her forehead. I looked at them long and hard, trying to remember where I had seen the before. That is when it had hit me. I thought back to the stone statue of Midoriko that had the missing arm. Both of their brows were adorned with four red dots. With the exact same placement.

"Midoriko?" I breathed.

She gave me a small smile.

"You've figured it out."

My eyes bounced around.

"Where are we? How are you here?"

"We are in the jewel child." She touched my forehead. "Well, your mind is here. Your mind is projecting your physical body's appearance here."

"The jewel..." I trailed off.

I was trying to make sense of it all.

"Why am I here exactly?"

"Your body is in a great amount of distress. Too much for your mind to handle. This is not the first time you have been here. You have heard my voice before, no?"

I nodded.

"The first time you were here. You slept for a very long time. Seven years to be exact."

My eyes went wide. "What?" I whispered. "For all that time I was here."

"Your body was suffering. Your mind would have broken If it was left there. At that time your body was a prison and your mind; it' prisoner. Your body needed to rest; desperately." She smiled. "Even after you were ready, you still didn't want to wake up on your own." She caressed my cheek. It was warm "That voice you heard; the one that woke you that day was my own."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. My mind was reeling and it was so much to take in at one time.

"There are no demons here," I said trying to change the subject.

She laid out flat, just floating there. You could tell it was something she was used to. Her tresses followed suit. They seemed to be swaying as if they were in the water.

"You borrowed power from the jewel that day, but it seems as though you had an untapped power within you. Your own power only amplified the power that was already within the jewel. The surge of power was too much for them. It eradicated them all. I wish you could have seen it. It was a sight to see. An enormous wave of energy just washed them away." She smiled. "It was the first moment of peace I'd had in centuries. I'm grateful to you for that."

"I did that?" I said in disbelief.

I laid my hand over my heart. I felt off.

"What is wrong with me this time?"

"I do not know what ails you, child. Only that you were in need of my help."

"How are we able to be here if the jewel was destroyed?"

She giggled. "Silly girl. The jewel was not destroyed. It went back to where it belonged."

She reached out to my abdomen. Touching where mistress centipede had ripped the jewel from me. I saw a glint in her eyes as she touched my stomach. Only for a moment though. She pulled her hand away, resuming her floating.

I bit my lip. "How long will I be asleep this time?"

"That depends." She said. "On how much time your body needs this time."

My shoulders sank. "I see."

"Do not worry. Whoever it is that you are missing, I am sure they will wait for you," she said.

I looked down at my feet. "How did you know?"

"I can see it in your eyes; the longing. I have known such a feeling, and I would recognize such a look anywhere."

"You must be so lonely here," I said.

She looked me in the eye. They held so much sadness.

"You get used to it. When you have been alone as long as I have," she explained.

"Isn't it possible for you to move on? Or to even be free of this place."

"My physical form is long gone, just my soul remains. I suppose I could move on, but if I did. Who would look after you? Never in all of my years have I seen such a girl who attracts more trouble than yourself. " She laughed. " I have been watching over you for such a long time Kagome. It wouldn't feel right if I was to leave you now."

I cocked my head to the side. "So, you're sort of like my fairy godmother in a way?"

She looked at me, confusion swimming in her eyes. "I'm sorry, your what?"

I laughed. "Nevermind, just a saying... it seems as though someone is always looking after me."

"People tend to want to look after what is important to them."

"Someone important huh..."

_Sesshomaru,_

_Wait for me._


	42. I will be ready

Chapter 42: _I will be ready._

* * *

**AN: I tweaked it to the best of my ability. I felt off a little about this chapter. Maybe I'm just too picky, but I hope that you all enjoy it.**

* * *

I pushed the door open slightly, watching them both. He handled her with such delicate care. Caressing her cheek as he coddled her. He breathed in her scent constantly; his hand laying over her womb. It seemed as though he was listening to me. His yokai surround her. Only two days had passed but I could tell that it was already beginning to take a toll on him. He wasn't paying attention to his own wellbeing at all; only the girls. Just how did this tiny woman manage to steal his heart. Nothing existed to him right but them. I gave a small smile. My son now had something to protect; he was a true man now. I closed the door, leaving them be stopping in my tracks; thinking to myself. _I was going to be a grandmother. _ I never thought I'd see the day. I would have to get the babe a gift... no, I had to get as many gifts as I possibly could. I looked at my watch. It was only 1:00 p.m. I had plenty of time. I quickly made my way down the steps. Slipping my shoes on at the door. I slipped out closing the door behind me. Sesshomaru's car was blocking my own. I guess I would have to drive his own. Walking over to the door I pulled it open. Car unlocked and keys still in the ignition; I sighed, _so irresponsible_. Perhaps he wasn't a man just yet. It seemed as though there was still enough fuel in the engine, to get me where I needed to go. I turned the keys, staring up the car; turning the car back off. I could hear a faint ringing sound. I listened to it. Opening the glove compartment.

"87 missed calls?"

_Who in God's name would be calling this much I thought._

It began to ring again right in the palm of my hand. I swiped up, answering it.

"Hello?" I said.

_"Who is this!?"_

The voice on the other end of the line was shrill and very rude.

The voice of a child could be heard in the background. It was muffled. I could not make out what they were saying.

"I should be asking you that. You are the one calling _my_ sons phone."

_"You're Sesshomaru's mother!? Good. Go tell your monster of a son to give me my daughter back!"_

"Monster!? I beg your pardon. DO NOT EVER speak of my son in that way. He is no monster. As for the girl, she is with him because she loves him! She chose this. No one is forcing her!"

_"Why you-"_

I could hear some kind of scuffling sound on the other side of the phone. As well as what sounded like the slamming of a door.

_"Kimi."_

"Myoga? What that your wife?"

_"That does not matter. Is **he** there with you?"_

I said nothing; the gears in my mind slowly turning; connecting the dots. That was his wife; she had been calling for her daughter... making her his daughter as well. He had come to me for the contraceptive...I slowly put the phone back to my ear.

"Myoga," I whispered. My heart pounding in my chest. "Tell me the prostitutes root you had asked of me... was not to kill my grandchild."

_"Kimi... you do not understand. It is killing her." He said harshly. "She needs to get rid of it."_

"It!? You are a monster!"

_"No, the monster is your son and the beast in her womb. It is draining the life out of her. He did this to her. I will come for my child Kimi. I will do anything to protect her. No matter who stands in my way."_

"And I will do anything to protect my child! If you come here, with the intention of harming any of them. Especially the babe, I will kill you myself."

I hung up the phone, throwing the phone onto the seat. I doubled over, resting my forehead against the leather steering wheel; my hand covering my mouth. It had been centuries since my voice dripped with such venom. I could feel the tears beginning to sting my eyes. I blinked them away. How could he even attempt, let alone think of something so disgusting? He looked me straight in the eyes and kept this from me. He was going to kill a babe, without a second thought. I leaned back into the chair; knowing what had to be done.

* * *

I pushed open the door, walking inside. I sat at the foot of the bed. I could already feel his eyes on me. No doubt he could smell the unease rolling off of me.

"What is it, mother?"

"Myoga came to see me."

His eyes went wide. "What for?"

"He was looking for prostitutes roots... he said he wanted it for his daughter. I didn't find out till moments ago, that this," I set my hand on her. "Was his daughter..."

I could feel his anger. His yokai swelling immensely. "Calm yourself! You might hurt the girl or the child!"

I could slowly feel his yokai returning; enveloping the girl once more. I looked up at him; red mingled with gold within his eyes.

"Has he given the root to her?"

"It seems as though he has not been able to, but he is coming for her. He plans to dispose of the babe." I said.

He tried to move but I stopped him. "No. You are weak right now; vulnerable. You need to stay with them; protect them. I will handle Myoga."

"Mother-"

I gripped my dress in my hand. "I failed you once before. I will not do so again."

He settled back beside her, holding her close. "You do not need to make up for things that happened so long ago, mother."

"Untrue. You came to me all those years ago. Bloody and battered. Wanting nothing but help from your mother, but I turned you away. All because I wanted to keep up appearances... I was a pathetic excuse for a mother. I will do better now. Doing this; will make it right. Or, so I am hoping." I nodded. "I will settle this for you."

He looked at me. His eyes softening slightly.

"You love him."

I gave him a sad smile. looking down at my lap. "Before I am a woman; I am a mother; your mother and right now my son needs me. That is the only thing that matters to me."

"If it comes to it will you be able to put an end to him?" he asked; his tone serious, face hard.

I straightened my back. "Whatever happens I will deal with it. I owe that to you. I promise to keep you safe; all of you. When he comes to retrieve the girl, I will be ready."


	43. Anything to take my mind off of what I just felt.

Chapter 43: _Anything to take my mind off of what I just felt._

* * *

About one thousand tries later. I had finally gotten the handle on this whole floating thing. It was fun; unlike the continuos spinning that I usually did. I would go up and down; twirl in all sorts of directions. Or, just float. It was a great way to past the time, and for some strange reason, I didn't feel as empty as I did before. The feeling had come out of nowhere, but my chest felt so warm. My skin tingled. It's as though little flicks of electricity were dancing across it. It made me shiver but... in a good way. This feeling felt so familiar. Yet at the same time, it wasn't. I floated down to Midoriko, laying beside her.

"Midoriko."

"Yes my child." she hummed.

"How do you know when the time has passed in here, and exactly how much?"

"I'm not sure. it is just something I have always know. It is just a feeling. Why do you ask?"

"I want to know how much time has passed."

"Only a single day." she'd said.

I bit my lip. "I guess that isn't too bad. What do you do here for fun?" I asked. "I'm starting to get bored," I said sounding like a child.

She looked at me strangely. "Fun?" She asked puzzled. "My dear, we are in an endless voice of nothingness. Your being here is the most fun that I have had in the last few centuries."

I sighed. "I see. Well, maybe we could-"

My sentence was cut short. My hand flew to my chest, gripping my robe. It felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. I couldn't move; I couldn't breathe. I could only float there, doubled over in pain. I could hear Midorikos cries, asking me if I was alright. They sound so muffled. As if I was underwater. My brain pulsed inside my skull, screaming just as my lungs did. I was beginning to get dizzy, from the lack of oxygen. Then it was gone as it had never come at all. I had felt the same way as I had before. Chest warm and skin tingling. I could breathe again. I inhaled deeply, taking in the much-needed oxygen. I straightened up slowly, afraid that whatever had happened, might happen again. Unsure of what just occurred. I looked over to Midoriko. Her shock and fear rivaling my own. She unclenched my hand, holding it in her own; caressing my cheek. Trying her best to relax my shaken nerves.

"What was that?" I whispered.

She pulled her hand away. "It was demonic energy. It was so strong and menacing; so fierce. It should not have been able to reach you here."

I let go of my robe. "What the hell was going on out there?"

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"I-i don't know. I've felt it before... somewhere. Not as strong but... I just can't put my finger on it."

_It couldn't have been Sesshomaru, could it?_

She stood, slowly pulling me up. Giving me a small smile, "Come. Let us go have some of that fun that you were speaking of earlier. Yes?"

I nodded. Anything to take my mind off of what I had just felt.


	44. We had no choice

Chapter 44:_ We had no choice_

* * *

_I had closed the door. Making sure that it was locked. He would not come alone. I would not allow him to pass, but a locked door would keep the humans out. I trudged into my room; my feet dragging. My body felt heavy. No doubt because of the weight that sat on my shoulders. The burden on dealing with Myoga say on me like weighted waters. A burden I had taken on; for my child because he needs me. I seated myself in front of the vanity. _ _I stared into the mirror. I was numb. I showed no emotion. Eyes empty and face stoic. My insides screamed. My mind screamed. As my heart was breaking in my chest; my soul-shattering as I sat there. All I could do was look at myself. I gathered my hair in one hand, grabbing a ribbon with the other. Placing my tresses into a neat bun, changing into a single black kimono. I opened the drawer pulling out my juzu, wrapping them around my wrist. Today would be a day of mourning._

****N****

I pressed my fingers against the mark. It burned, but it did not hurt. Nothing was more painful at this moment, the pain that I felt in my chest. My hand dropped to my side. I stepped down from the porch; bare feet pressing into the dirt. I could feel the vibrations of the car speeding towards. Long before I heard the roar of its engine. The car swerved slightly to the side. Stopping some feet away from me. The gravel spraying against my feet & kimono. He looked at me, but my eyes wandered over to her; his wife. Then to the young child in the back seat. He looked just like his mother. He said something to her, stepping out of the car. Gingerly closing it behind me. He removed his jacket, laying it on the hood of the car. His eyes roamed me; looking me up and down.

"You are dressed for a funeral Kimi," he said.

"Aye. I am"

He rolled up his sleeves. "Will you really get in my way Kimi?"

I straightened my back; head held high. "You know that I will."

I inhaled sharply, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.

"You weep for me?"

"No," I said. "For who you use to be," I said, quickly wiping it away.

I opened my kimono letting it slip off of my shoulders; falling to the ground. Leaving only my bindings behind. I snarled as my bones shifted and cracked.

****N****

I watched as she wiped away her stray tear. She dropped her Kimono to the floor. I knew all too well what was coming next. I could hear the breaking of her bones from where I stood. Her humanoid form was no more. Left behind was her true demon form. Her eyes blood red and thick fur swayed in the wind. I had to draw her away. I couldn't do this with Aoi and Souta so close by. I turned and ran, hoping she would come after me; and follow she did. Each time her paws connected with the ground; it shook. I kept on, moving my legs as fast as I possibly could. That kept on for about thirty minutes or so. The loud thuds had ceased. I huffed, turning around. I saw her before me. Kimi was smart. She chased me here to get me away from the house; away from what she was protecting. She had never planned to fight me in that form. Her body was bare. Hair thrashing around her wildly. Her magenta markings had become jagged. Fangs protruding over her bottom lip and claws elongated. Her face had shaped into a muzzle. She looked so feral. An animal on the hunt. The true form of the lady of the West. A killer.

She flexed her claws, leaping at me. She gave me no time to react. Her left claw stabbing into my shoulder. The right dug into my abdomen, shoving up toward my heart. I made haste grabbing her hands, throwing her over my head. she landed on all fours. My blood made a wet splatting sound as it hit the ground. She wasted no time charging me again. I tried my best to dodge her attacks. The two gaping holes in me made in difficult. I clutched my stomach. There was no trace of Kimi left in her eyes. Just the beast. I ducked as she spun; her leg flying over my head. I grabbed it with my free arm, slamming her to the floor. I jumped on top of her, my claws coming down on her. She stopped them, my claws piercing through the palm of her hand. A snarl roared passed her lips. As her fist connected with my throat. Causing me to cough and clutch my throat. Her feet pressed against my chest, shooting upward. Launching me into the air. I closed my eyes as I braced myself for impact. My back collided with the hard ground, knocking the air out of me. My body went stiff, as my brain rattled in my head. As I was trying to breathe. I felt the pressure of my chest. I opened my eyes, seeing her foot pressed against my chest. I coughed as my ribs cracked. I dug my claws into her Achilles, slicing it. She pulled away hissing in pain. I leaped towards her, ignoring the pain in my abdomen and shoulder. She kicked her foot out, her heel connecting with my nose. I heard a sharp crack; it was broken.

My eyes instantly watered, blurring my vision. I staggered, tripping over and falling backward. I rubbed my eyes frantically. I could hear her footsteps approaching me. I had finally rubbed the tears out of my eyes. Opening them to see her standing above me claws sharpened. They started to come down on me. I too struck from below. The scent of blood was everywhere, as well as its splatter. Our eyes locked; we didn't want it to come to this, but we had no choice.

* * *

Juzu-a set of prayer beads.


	45. Wait for me Kagome

Chapter 45: _Wait for me Kagome_

* * *

We had finally reached the house. I had begged mom to bring me back for the weekend. I wanted to surprise Kagome. I couldn't believe that she was finally awake. I missed my sister. She parked the car and we walked inside, as I lugged my luggage behind me. I pressed the button waiting for the elevator; stepping in when it arrived. I'll tell you what I didn't miss. The long trip up to the top floor. In such an expensive place, you'd think that the elevator would be a little faster. I looked over at her. She hummed away in her own world; not care in the world.

"Mom?"

She looked over at me. "Yes, dear?"

"Kagome, Is she the same... or is she you know, kind of different? I read that people in coma's never come out the same person that they once were."

She tilted her head to the side, giving me a smile. "She is the same headstrong big-hearted cry-baby you grew up with. She is still the same Kagome on the inside. I promise you that."

I smiled. "Good, I'm glad. I didn't want to have to get to know my own sister all over again. Besides, she needs to see how much I've grown. So she can stop calling me a squirt."

The elevator doors dinged open. We exited the elevator walking over to the front door.m Seeing that the door was left slightly open. I pushed it open sticking my head in. To find Myoga sitting on the floor. It looked like he was sleeping. My mom pushed the door fully open. Her eyes darting around the room until they landed on Myoga's sleeping form on the floor, leaning up against the wall. She went to his side quickly. I could see the worry in her eyes. She gently shook his shoulders until his eyes fluttered open.

"Aoi? Souta?" His eyes darted between the both of us. "What are both of you doing here?"

"Souta wanted to surprise his sister. We were thinking we could call her over. So that they could see one another. Why are you sleeping on the floor? Are you all alright? Are you not feeling well?"

I noticed his face harden, and his eyes went dark at the mention of my sister.

She helped him to his feet. "We have to go get Kagome?" he said.

I stepped forward. "Why? Where is she?"

"She is in danger, and Sesshomaru put her there."

"Danger what are you talking about?"

Myoga looked my mother in the eyes. "She could die Aoi."

"What!?" my mother cried out.

"What? Wait who is Sesshomaru? How exactly is she in danger?"

I had only been here a few minutes and everything was already up in flames. I had never seen my mother so angry. She walked over into the living room snatching the house phone off of the table. Coming back over to Myoga.

"Dial his number. Now."

Myoga did as he was told. The first time there was no answer, but that didn't stop her. I watched her redial the number over and over and over. I had lost count after twenty. Myoga had gone into the shower, to freshen up; which he needed. I left her to her own devices, walking into what used to be my room. I looked around; my eyes landing on a big yellow pack. No doubt this was kagome's room now. I gave a sad smile, sitting on her bed. It smelled like that strawberry shampoo she'd always use. It was faint though. She probably hadn't been here in a while. Especially if her room was this clean. I sighed laying back. What the hell was going on?

****N****

I refused to stop calling. Not until someone picked up, and not until that dog gave me my daughter back. I had lost track of how many times I had redialed this stupid number. _She could die Aoi. _My heart had dropped when he'd said those words. Once more I dialed the number; the dial tone ringing in my ear. Praying that this one was it. That someone, anyone would pick up.

_"Hello?"_ It was a woman's voice on the other end.

"Who is this!?" I shrieked.

_"I should be asking you that. You are calling my sons phone."_

"You're Sesshomaru's mother!? Good." I spat. "Tell your monster of a sone to give me my daughter back!"

I was yelling now.

_"Monster!? I beg your pardon. DO NOT EVER speak of my son in that way. He is no monster. As for the girl, she is with him because she loves him! She chose this. No one is forcing her!"_

"Why you-"

I hadn't even realized Myoga had gotten out of the shower. He'd snatched the phone out of my hand. I tried my best to get the phone back from him but; but no avail. He quickly walked away from me. I chased after him, but I was met with a locked door in my face.

I banged on the door. "Open the door this instant!"

****N****

"Kimi."

_"Myoga? Was that your wife?"_

"That does not matter. Is **_he_ **there with you?

There was a pause on the other end of the line. Kimi was not stupid. No doubt she was connecting the dots on the other end of the phone.

_"Myoga,"_ she whispered._ "Tell me the prostitutes root you had asked of me... was not to kill my grandchild."_

"Kimi... you do not understand. It is killing her." I said harshly. "She needs to get rid of it._"_

_"It!? You are a monster!"_

"No, the monster is your son and the beast in her womb is draining the life out of her. He did this to her. I will come for my child Kimi. I will do anything to protect her. No matter who stands in my way.

_"And I will do anything to protect my child! If you come here, with the intention of harming any of them. Especially the babe, I will kill you myself."_

She had hung up before I had had the chance to respond. I threw the phone onto the bed, sighing deeply. I opened the bedroom door. She banged against my chest.

"Tell me what the hell is going on right now! And I meant EVERYTHING! And you better not lie to me."

I had never seen her so angry; much less at me.

"What is wrong with my daughter!?"

Out of the corner of my eye. I notice souta slipping his way over; to see what was going on.

"Kagome is pregnant."

She gasped, as shock filled her eyes.

"The child is killing her. I'm just trying to save her Aoi."

"Save her how?"

"Aoi-"

"I will not ask again Myoga."

Her fists were clenched at her sides. I glanced over to Souta; his eyes wide as he took all of what he heard.

"The child must go."

Her mouth hung slightly open, she took a step back.

"Aoi... please try to see things my way I-"

She turned her head, looking away from me.

"Take me to her."

"Aoi, I need to know that you will not get in my way about this."

She looked me in the eyes. "I said take me to my daughter."

* * *

_The child must go. _I glanced over at Myoga. Was this the same man that I had married? The man I knew was kind, loving. He protected those he cared about. He would never do something so- I jumped at the sound of the engines roar. The silence was unnerving. Neither one of us spoke. We didn't need to. Our uncomfortableness was evident. It kept for what seemed like forever. Until we were pulling into a house. The close more he drove on I could see a single person coming into view; a woman. He drove, stopping right in front of her. Her hair was platinum and she wore a black kimono. The markings on her face were almost identical to Sesshomaru's. Her eye landed on Souta before they landed on me. Our eyes locked but only for a moment, before the drifted over to Myoga. I heard the car door slam. He slid off his jacket, laying it on the hood of the car. They were exchanging words, but I could not hear what was being said.

The demoness woman shed a tear, but she quickly wiped it away. Shedding her black Kimono. Her arms and legs began to turn in horrifying ways. I heard Souta gasp from behind me. I watched as she shifted into an enormous white dog, snarling at Myoga. He turned running, the large dog on his heels. I quickly turned to Souta.

"Hurry we have to go. Now!"

He nodded, both of us getting out of the car. We hurried over to the front door. I tried the doorknob but it was locked. Before I could think of a way to get in. I could hear the sound of glass breaking. I turned to Souta. Watching through wide eyes, as he knocked the broken shards of glass away, with his elbow. I stared at him through wide eyes, and he looked at me.

"What?"

"Where did you learn that!?"

He shrugged. "I've seen it in movies." He climbed inside holding his hand out to me. "C'mon we have to hurry right?"

I nodded, taking his hand and climbed through after him. My eyes darted around, taking in the scenery. It was a large house, which meant we hand a lot of ground to cover. I turned to Souta taking his hand.

"You take downstairs and I'll go upstairs. We'll find her."

He nodded, heading off. I started up the stairs

_Wait for me Kagome._


	46. "He is here."

Chapter 46:_ "He is here."_

* * *

I tried every door that I happened to come across. Practically throwing them open; running inside. My heartbreaking each time that I saw it was empty. I banged my fist against the door... I just wanted my daughter to be safe. I couldn't stop, not if I wanted to find her before Myoga did. I kicked off my shoes, ignoring the aching pain in my soles and continuing on. I went back out into the hallway. Opening the rest of the doors on the second floor. Climbing the stairs up to the third floor. I looked around, at the top of the stairway it broke off into three more hallways. I had to hurry. I didn't have time to play musical hallways, with this damned house. I ran into the middle corridor. Throwing each door open. I must have checked over thirty rooms so far; yet nothing. I wiped the beads of sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. I huffed reaching the last door, trying the knob, yet it didn't turn. I gripped it, trying again; harder this time. It was locked. I pressed my ear against the door. It was silent, but this was the room. It had to be. I wracked my brain trying to figure out how to get this damned door open. Going back into the room I had been in before, searching for something, anything that could be used to break off the handle. I grabbed things off the shelves. Seeing which had weighed more than the other. I had grabbed books, nick nacks and even figurines. None of them weighed enough. My eyes darted around the room, landing on a bust that sat in the corner. I went over to it, grabbing it and holding it against my chest. I struggled to hold it up; meaning it was perfect. Carrying it out into the hallway and over to the door. Lifting is as high as I could and letting it drop it onto the handle. I covered my ears and jumped back as the bust crashed to the floor, shattering into pieces. I pushed the door open slowly, my eyes landing on them. He laid there cradling her in the bed. As soon as I'd pushed the door open, his magenta lids snapped open. A growl rumbled low in his throat. I stepped in slowly, closing the door behind me. I put my hand up.

"I did not come here to fight." I'd said.

I heard heavy footsteps quickly running down the hall. Moments Souta came bursting in right behind me.

"Mom are you alright!? I heard a loud noise what ha-" He had stopped talking once he'd saw them.

Sesshomaru watched us intently; his eyes never leaving us once. I moved souta out of the way closing the door. I went over to the dresser, trying to push it. However, it was too heavy. Souta saw this and came to my aid, helping me to push it in front of the door. We had to use most if not all of our strength to move the heavy piece of furniture. I turned back to them. I took a step forward, and he held her closer to him. Another snarl slipping past his lips. Souta grabbed me by the arm in order to stop me from going any closer.

"I just want to help her," I told him.

"You want to take her from me," he growled.

His usual deep baritone voice was much softer now; weaker even. I shook my head.

"I just want her to be okay," I assured.

My voice cracked at the end. I wasn't sure how long I would be able to fight back my tears. I slipped my hand out of Souta's grasp; quickly going over to them, kneeling by the bed. He bared his fang, but he wouldn't hurt me; he couldn't, not in the state he was now. Why was he so weak like this? I slowly reached out, taking Kagome's hands in my own. He watched me as I did so. Tears pricked my eyes as I stared at her pale face.

"Can you save her?"

"I am trying," he whispered.

"Whatever you're doing, try harder!"

My hand flew to my mouth, covering it. I shouldn't have yelled. We both wanted the same thing; for Kagome to be safe, to make it out alive. I wiped my tears away.

"She is pregnant." he'd said.

I nodded, looking at him. "I know."

His eyes narrowed into slits, as he pulled her hand out of mine.

"So you have come to help him rid her of our child? Your grandchild," he said harshly.

I violently shook my head from side to side. "I would never do such a thing!"

"So then why have you come!" he strained.

I clenched my jaw. "I am here for Kagome's sake. I want to keep her safe. I will not let him hurt her. That isn't what she would want. This isn't what I want. She would never choose something like this. Even if it was going to cost her, her life. I am her mother, and I want what all mothers want for their children. To be happy, to be safe, and most importantly for them to stay alive. I will never put anyone before my daughter, regardless of who they are or how I feel about them. I am a mother before anything else."

His eyes widened at the last thing I had said.

"I won't let anything happen to her either. " Souta chimed in. "We love her just as much as you do."

His eyes traveled between the both of us. "Then stop him." He let out a shaky breath. "As you can see, I am weak and cannot fight him off. If my mother fails to kill him, and he makes it back here, you must stop him. Keep him away from her."

"H-how?"

How was I supposed to stop him?

"Figure it out. You wish to protect her right!?"

The moment he'd raised his voice, he'd gone into a coughing fit.

"If you want to save her, figure it out... do whatever it takes."

Before I could speak Souta chimed in.

"We'll do it." He said.

At that moment we'd all heard a loud crash coming from downstairs. I quickly turned back to Sesshomaru; his face had darkened.

"_He_ is here."


	47. "What the hell is going on here?"

Chapter 47: _"What the hell is going on here?"_

* * *

My eyes snapped open, and it was her; Kagome's _mother._ She slowly closed the door behind her, putting her hand up.

"I did not come to fight." she'd said.

My eyes snapped over to the door once I'd heard another pair of footsteps, rushing down the hallway. A young boy came running in, he smelled of his mother; no doubt that was her son.

"Mom are you alright!? I heard a loud noise what ha-" He had stopped talking once his eyes had landed on his sister and me.

I watched them both closely, holding Kagome closely to me. I watched her make her way over to the dresser, trying to push it over. Failing, her child came to her aid. They moved it, pushing it over to the door. She turned back to me; taking a step forward. Only for her son to stop her. I snarled at her.

"I just want to help her." She'd said

"You cannot help her. You want to take her from me."

I sounded so weak. It made me angry. I did not trust this woman. She did not want Kagome and me together. She didn't the moment she had found out.

_ **"Just listen to her. Hear what she has to say. We need all the help that we can get. Right now we cannot protect her alone. Just listen..."** _

"I just want her to be okay," she said, her voice cracking.

She slipped out of the boys' grasp, coming over to the bed; kneeling beside me. She took Kagome's hand in her own. She stared at Kagome's face, her eyes glossing over.

"Can you save her?"

I did not need to see my face to know how pained I looked. I could hear it in my voice. "I am trying," I whispered.

"Whatever you're doing, try harder!"

She covered her mouth. Seemingly regreting raising her voice. She wiped her tears away.

"She is pregnant," I told her.

She nodded, looking at me. "I know."

I quickly snatched Kagome's hand away.

"So you have come to help him rid her of our child? Your grandchild," I said harshly.

"I would never do such a thing!"

"So then why have you come!?" I strained.

This woman was so naive. She didn't see what her husband for what he truly was until it was too late. Now here she was in front of me, hating herself for letting it get this far. To think I'd meet someone so much more oblivious than myself.

Her jaw clenched. "I am here for Kagome's sake. I want to keep her safe. I will not let him hurt her that way. That isn't what she would want. This isn't what I want. She would never choose something like this. Even if it was going to cost her, her life. I am her mother, and I want what all mothers want for their children. To be happy, to be safe, and most importantly for her to stay alive. I will never put anyone before my daughter, regardless of who they are or how I feel about them. I am a mother before anything else."

My eyes slightly widened at her last sentence. I guess all mothers were the same.

"I won't let anything happen to her either. " The boy chimed in. "We love her just as much as you do."

I buried my nose in her hair. _No one could love her more than I. _I looked between the both of them.

"Then stop him." I let out a shaky breath. "As you can see, I am weak and cannot fight him off. If my mother fails to kill him, and he makes it back here; you must stop him. Keep him away from her."

"How am I supposed to stop him?"

"Figure it out. You wish to protect her right!?"

The second I had raised my voice I had begun to cough uncontrollably. I had to take a few moments to collect myself.

"If you want to save her, figure it out... do whatever it takes."

The boy spoke before his mother could.

"We'll do it." He said.

It seemed as though the boy had more backbone than his mother.

At that moment we all heard a loud crash. I quickly turned back to Sesshomaru; his face darkened.

"He is here."

My ear twitched. I could hear his heavy quickened footsteps from downstairs. As they raced up the third flight. I could hear him inhaling deeply, honing in on our scents. They raced down the hallway, stopping directly in front of the door. I could feel his aura raging from the other side. I could also smell blood... a mixture of his and of my mothers' blood. My jaw clenched. I tried to keep my aura under control. I looked down at her. For their sake.

"Aoi, Souta. Please tell me that both of you are okay."

"We're fine." the boy spoke. "Just leave Myoga. You're not wanted here. I know what you tried to do, and it's disgusting. When my sister wakes up, you can bet your sorry ass that I am going to tell her everything!"

"Souta you don't understand. You're too young to understand my reasons behind this," he said through the door.

"And what are your reasons!?" she said. "Why could you ever think doing something like this would ever be okay!?"

"It's for her own good! Why can't you see that!?"

"Her own good!? You keep saying that but I can't understand how this would ever be for anyone's own good Myoga! Gods, how could I not have realized this sooner. Why are you trying to control her? She is her own person, not some puppet. First, you try to keep her locked up in the penthouse... no," She dug her hands into her hair, grabbing fistfuls of her brown locks, letting her arms drop once more. " It went back farther than that. The first time you had come into our lives, you been controlling her. I was just so grateful for all the help. That I was blind to what you were doing to her. Having her under watch like some prisoner 24/7. What hospital she had to go to, right down to the damned doctors! Pushing for me to move into your house. Was any of this even real!? Or was it just so that you could have everything under your control!? "

"Aoi no, I love you and that was only for Kagome's protection. Protection against the monster that is in there with you!"

"Did you even know that he would really hurt her, because right now he's in here with us, and you're out there. I only see a man who wants to keep the woman he loves safe. Right now you're the only monster I see Myoga."

He banged against the door, causing them to jump.

"So what if I just wanted someone to listen to me!? To finally have some control. Aoi, you don't know what it was like back then. To have people trample over you. To dismiss you with the simplest flick of a finger. No one ever listened to me! They only noticed when I ran, but things are different now. I finally have the strength to take control of what I want. Kagome will listen to me, and so will the both of you. After all of this is over, we can go back to being a happy family. So, OPEN THIS DOOR!"

The women clenched her fists at her side. "You've lost your mind. We will never go back with you!"

He began to pound and kick against the door, moving the dresser each time. They tried their best to keep him at bay, but they were no match for him. One final kick was all it took for them to be knocked out of the way. The dresser flew back, stopping once it'd hit the side of the bed. I peered over it, watching him as he slowly stalked in. She had wounded him. Two holes in him seeped blood. He heaved; his shoulder rose and sank slowly. Sweat drenched his clothes and beaded on his forehead. He'd taken another step, only for the woman and the boy to step in his path.

"Move out of the way." He huffed.

They did not move. "Just leave Myoga, you're not wanted here. Least of all by me."

I could hear the pain; the sadness the swam in her voice. This was hurting her, finally seeing him for who he truly was, was breaking her heart.

"Don't make me do this Aoi. When this is all over you'll see that I was right."

The boy stepped in front of his mother. "Do what Myoga? Are you gonna try and hurt us too?"

"Stay out of this boy!"

"NO! If you want Kagome you're going to have to go through me!"

His mother stepped up beside him. "The both of us!"

It had happened in a split second. So quick that I almost hadn't seen it. The despicable flea had actually charged at them.

* * *

Floating had gotten very old, very fast. Midoriko's war stories only kept me entertained for so long. I went over to her, she looked up at me; a concerned look in her eyes.

"What is wrong my child?"

"Is there any way to see what's going on out there?"

"Kagome-"

"There must be. You've been watching over me all this time right? How?"

"It is not wise for you to do that." she pushed.

"Why not? I just want to-" I stopped and looked at her. "Have you been watching what's going on?"

She averted her eyes from my own; nodding.

"Why won't you let me see what's going on?"

"You will not like what you will see. It makes no senes for you to see because there is nothing you can do to help them."

"Nothing I can do? Midoriko what's going on!?"

My heart thudded in my chest uncontrollably. She signed holding her hands out to me; eye shut tight. I placed my hands on her own. She gripped them tightly. Lids flutter open to reveal ghostly white eyes. My chest became heavy. I could feel the holy power coming from her. It was overwhelming; traveling up my arms, enveloping my entire body. I felt a sharp shock traveled up my spine, causing my eyes to squeeze shut. I opened them slowly, my breath hitching in my throat at what I saw. Sesshomaru... he looked so tired; so weak. I so desperately wanted to reach out and touch him; hold him but I couldn't. There I was, lying next to him stiff and pale in his arms. My eyes traveled on, everyone was here. My mother and Souta blocked Myoga's path. He stood bloody and bruised. He seemed as though he would topple over any second. His shirt soaked in blood and sweat. _What the hell was going on here!? _They spoke but I could not hear what they were saying. Myoga crouched down, claws sharpened. He was going to attack them!?_ No, no, NO! _He leaped towards mama and Souta. I cried out as I watched the scene unfold before me. I stood before Midoriko once again. I pulled my hands away from her; hyperventilating.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Kagome I told you that you should not have seen that."

"No, I have to save them. I can't-"

I reached out to Mirdoriko, but my hand was gone. I was already freaking out and things were only getting worse. I looked up at Midoriko's face; a smile sat upon her lips.

"I'm disappearing! How is this funny!?"

She stroked my cheek. "You're leaving me, my child. You're forcing your body to wake up. You're not disappearing; you're waking up. It's okay." She held my shoulders, giving me a reassuring squeeze.

My chest heaved quickly, I watched myself fade away; as well as her smiling face.

_"I will always be here, remember that."_

* * *

I shot up straight, gasping for air. My head snapping into Myoga's direction, catching him mid-jump I erected a barrier, still trying to recover the shock of forcing myself awake. Separating us from him.

I looked him dead in the eye, finally able to breathe properly.

"What the hell is going on here?"


	48. Chapter 48: They'd shut completely

Chapter 48: _They'd shut completely_

* * *

I breathed in and out slowly, trying not to falter because if I did so would the barrier; and I wouldn't have that. Not until I'd found out exactly what was going on. I still felt weak; even though I felt slightly better than I had before. I felt a light touch on my shoulder, I turned coming face to face to with Sesshomaru. Everything felt as though it was moving in slow motion. My mama and Souta rushing to my side; Sesshomaru enveloping me in his arms. They all surrounded me, holding me in their arms, but I continued to stare into molten orbs. They held the same longing that I'm sure my own held as well. I opened my mouth to speak, ready to tell him how much I missed him; how empty I had felt without him. The moment I had built up the courage for the words to leave my lips, another had spoke first.

"Kagome."

We all turned to Myoga. I stood, with my mother's help. I walked over to him slowly, stopping only inches away from the barrier. He looked like hell.

"Myoga... what is going on? What happened to you? Why did you attack them?"

"_His _mother did this to me. The reason we are all here is _his _fault."

"Shesshomaru's mother..." I trailed off. "Why would she do that to you?"

I had so many questions, and none of them were being answered quickly enough.

"Tell her truth!" Souta yelled, from behind me.

I turned to look at him, my mama, then Sesshomaru. They all held the same look of disdain on their faces; the same anger in their eyes.

"The truth?" I turned back to him. "What have you done Myoga?"

"I have only tried to help you. They tried to stop me from doing so."

Myoga glared at Souta before setting his eyes back on me. My eyes narrowed, not believing a word he'd said.

"Kagome it is not what you think. I am not the bad guy. He is trying to place the blame on me."

"What blame is there to be placed if you haven't done anything wrong Myoga?"

"Kagome I want you to know that I care about you, and I only did what I did for you."

"If you really care about me then you will tell me the truth."

I watched him take a shaky breath in, exhaling it sharply; leaning against the wall.

"It's killing you," he whispered.

"Killing me? What are you talking about? You're not making any sense!"

"TELL HER!" Sesshomaru roared behind me.

I pressed my hands against the barrier.

"What. Did. You. Do?"

He looked at me, a sad look in his eyes. "The reason that you are so sick; the reason you were inches away from death, is because you are pregnant. The child is of demon blood, and it is killing you Kagome. Its demonic energy and your holy powers are clashing and it is taking a toll on your body. I want to help you... by getting rid of it. In my eyes, it was either you or it, and I chose you Kagome. Can't you see? I only want what is best for you, and that thing inside of you is no what you need. _He _is not what you need. You need your family. Your real family."

My body went stiff as I clenched my fists at my side. I could only stare into space as my mind reeled. I stood there, not sure if seconds or minutes had passed by.

"How could you?" I whispered.

My tone of voice was so sharp; so harsh.

"I was doing this for you."

"For me? Trying to kill my child before they were even born was for me!? How could that possibly be for me!? You were going to kill my child without ever telling me I was pregnant in the first place. How could you possibly think that was okay!? You controlling, manipulative son of a bitch! You expect me to think that you care about me after trying to pull something like that!? How dare you try and justify this!"

He wheezed. "I love you like my own... I just wanted to protect you. "You wouldn't understand the love a parent has for their child. I have been trying to protect you for so long."

"How could I possibly understand, when you weren't even going to give me the chance to be one!? You are NOT my father. A father would never do something so... so... SO EVIL! You are not my family." I whispered harshly

He stood there, leaned up against the wall. Taking my verbal lashing. His eyes were wide at my anger. I could feel myself shaking as my reiki crackled on my skin. My face hot and chest heaving with every hurried breath. I could feel the tears beginning to sting my eyes.

"I hate you," I whispered harshly.

My breathing became ragged, the barrier shattered from the intense power emitting from me. I could feel the warmth in my abdomen; where the jewel resided. My hair whipped around my face. The force of my power pressed him against the wall. I grabbed his forearms tightly. He screamed as my hands burned away his flesh. I could hear the calls from Sesshomaru, telling me to stop. They were so close yet so distant. I ignored them continuing on, disregarding the smell of burnt flesh that filled my nose. It was like I was on autopilot. I was letting my anger lead me. I gripped his forearms. Nails digging into his skin, drawing blood; satisfying me slightly, but doing nothing to calm my rage. It happened in such a quick motion. I'd swung him over my head, across the room. I watched his body crash through the window. I chased after him, leaping through the window. Ignoring the broken shards of glass cutting my skin. My arm shot out; hand wrapping itself around his throat. Squeezing so tight his eyes began to bulge. We slammed into the ground, but I straddle him, refusing to let go. My foot on one arm, hand on the other; trapping him. As I continued to choke the life out of him. His mouth hung open desperately trying to suck in air. I could see the fear in his eyes... I wanted to stop; to stop all of this, but I couldn't. I continued to squeeze as his legs kicked underneath me. The skin around his neck quickly blackened. He mouthed the word, please. Tears forming in his eyes. I watched as they ran down his face, which had already begun to turn blue. A pair of strong arms wrapped around me. I looked down to see them. Pale arms; familiar magenta markings. I watched as those pale arms began to darken. My eyes went wide, I realized what I was doing. I released Myoga, quickly turning to Sesshomaru. My anger quickly died out. I held his arms in my hands; trying to heal them.

"Why did you do that!? Why would you stop me!?" I didn't mean that... I don't know why I had said that. I wanted to stop and someone had finally stopped me.

He looked me in the eyes, resting his forehead against mine. "You could have hurt our child."

My vision became blurry, as my eyes welled up with teats; spilling over uncontrollably. I stared at him through wet lashes.

"Do not worry about me, I will be fine. As long as both of you are okay, I will be fine."

I held him close, resting his head on my breast. What came next had all happened so quickly. The sound of a blood curdling, the red liquid splattering on my back and my arms; as well as the ground around me. I held Sesshomaru closer to me, as I turned my head to peer behind me. Myoga stood there, shock and fear plastered over his face; bloody hand sticking out of his chest... heart in its hand. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, as he hit the ground with a hard thud. Revealing a woman behind him. She stood bare, her disheveled hair sticking to her blood-covered body. Sweat and dirt covering various parts of her skin. My mama ran past me covering her with her jacket. My eyes traveled up to her face; seeing the crescent-moon sitting on her brow. _Sesshomaru's mother. _She leaned against my mama for support. I looked at my mama. The colored had drained from her face. I could tell that she was trying to fight the tears; as was the woman in her arms. I couldn't imagine what they were feeling at this moment. I turned away from his dead body; trying my best not to go on autopilot once more. Instead of being lead by one emotion, I let them all be free. Letting my arms fall to my side. I couldn't hold it anymore. I just bawled and I didn't know why. I was angry, sad, and happy all at that moment. So much had just happened and I was struggling to process it all. He held me; an embrace I gladly welcomed. I just bawled into his chest like a child. I held onto him; not wanting to let go. I just laid there, not sure how much time had passed. My eyelids became heavier and heavier with each passing second until they'd shut completely.


	49. Chapter 49: A. Mess.

Chapter 49: _A. Mess_

* * *

I looked down at her sleeping form. Peacefully slumming in my arms, bringing her close to me. Resting my hand over her womb, silently praying that she would not be asleep for long this time. I released my aura over her once more; letting it mingle with her own. I looked at both of our mothers; they had both lost the man they had loved today. The scent of melancholy and blood was in the air; thick and pungent. I could hear the young boy's heart banging away in his chest, and it hadn't slowed since the moment his sister had awoken. I looked down at his lifeless body, as his blood pooled around him. I let out a deep sigh. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't pleased with the demise of the flea. I held them closely, my eyes glancing over to our mothers. Both silently cried into one another. Only they could understand what the other was going through. One man had made such a mess. Ruined a family, trust; broken hearts. One man had done all of this. I sighed looking back down at his body. This was a moment I would never forget... none of us would. I stood, cradling her against my chest carrying her into the house. Making my way to another bedroom. I gingerly laid her down, brushing the stray hairs away from her face. I laid beside her, burying my nose in her disheveled hair. I could feel lids becoming heavier with each passing second.

**"It is finally over."**

"Hn."

**"This will be a nuisance to clean up."**

"Indeed it will..."

* * *

I stood in the shower. Standing there as the scalding water hit my skin. Washing the dried blood from my tired body and tangled tresses. I watched as the blood mixed in with the water. I ran my fingers over my newly healed wound. Three inches... he was three inches off. Any closer and it would have been my heart. No doubt the old fool had missed on purpose. I laughed... it was bitter and dry. The old bat was still softer than he had let on. It made me wonder if there was any chance that he could have been saved. I sunk to the floor, the cold tiles pressing up against me. I brought my knees to my chest continuing to laugh. Quickly covering my mouth. I could feel my bitter laughs turning into sobs. I made sure my hand was clamped over my mouth tightly. So, my sobs could not slip past my lips. My heart ached in my chest. A piece of me would be gone forever. I could still see his blood on my hands; the smell of the red liquid still assaulted my senses. His heart dropping to the floor as I ripped it from his chest. A cowardly thing I had done... attacking from behind like that. There was no honor in that kill, but I just couldn't do it. Look him in the eyes as I took his life. Watch the light fade from his eyes... see him breathe his last breath. I wished things could have gone differently. I prayed they could have, but I knew... no, we both knew that that would have never been possible. He had made his choice and had made mine. Parents who just wanted their children safe... or at least I was. I removed my hand from my mouth, biting my lip. I stared at my hands, trying to steady their shaking. I let out a deep sigh. Resting my forehead on my knees. The demon council would be here soon enough ... all of this was going to be a hell of a mess to clean up.

* * *

I stared at my wedding ring. Tears welling up in my eyes as I did. My mind imploded, and I could do nothing to stop it. Memories... they had all come rushing in at once. As if a dam had just broken, and the waters had been set free. Free to wreak havoc on whatever was in its path. My sanity the broken dam, the rushing water my unwanted memories and me. Just standing there in the middle waiting to be washed away. Countless dinners, breakfasts, laughs, kisses, first times... last times. They all flashed before my eyes, whether I wanted them to or not. I tore the ring off, nearly taking my finger off with it; launching it across the room. I gripped my shirt, my breathing hastened, the room began to spin, I sank to the floor. Wallowing in my self-pity. How could I have been such a fool? I banged my hands against the sides of my temples. I opened my mouth to scream. To let go of whatever it was that was inside me that was yearning to come out. The pain, the loathing... all of it, yet nothing came. I just sat there, my mouth hanging open; tears flowing freely and face twisted in agony. I placed my head on the floor, silently sobbing to myself gripping the shag carpeting between my fingers.

"Fool, fool, fool."

I repeated the word over and over to myself. Such a fool and an idiot I had been. I should have opened my eyes sooner. Maybe if I had this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't be here weeping. Breaking my own heart over a man who didn't deserve it. Yet I could not deny the weight that had been lifted off of my shoulder, once he'd died. He was gone and Kagome was safe... that is all that mattered. I slowly sat upward, staring at the ceiling. Gods ... all of this was such a mess.

* * *

I'd splashed some cold water onto my face. Staring back at myself in the mirror. Everyone had broken off on their own. No doubt trying to run from what was outside. His body was still lying there... Sesshomaru's mother said we shouldn't touch it. That she was the one who killed him and she was the one who would have to answer to the authorities. Explain to them what exactly had gone on here. Explaining how it all started, was a different story. I sighed taking a seat on the toilet. It's obvious that they would only question her, and just let the rest of us waltz on out of here. My mother was a mess. She had gone into a room, locked herself in it, and hadn't come out. The same with Sesshomaru's mother. Sesshomaru himself had carried my sister away into the west wing of the house, and here I was... locked away in the bathroom hiding. We were all hiding. Hiding from the mess that was out there, as well as the mess to come. Not to forget once that was over there was still the mess of wether Kagome will be asleep forever. I ran my hand across my face.

"I should have stayed at school."

I just wanted a peaceful reunion with my family. Instead, I happened to walk in on all of this chaos. I walked over to the window, looking up at the moon. What a mess all of this was.


	50. we would always love one another

Chapter 50: _we would always love one another_

* * *

I cracked open an eye. Seeing that it was dark. I blinked a few times, letting my eyes adjust to the lack of light. Slowly but surely I could see a little better than before. My body felt heavy. My eyes traveled down, to see Sesshomaru sleeping; head on my chest; limbs draped over me. I ran my fingers through his tresses. Listening to him breathe, before I moving his arm, then his leg. He must have been so tired. I had never seen him sleep so heavily before. I sat up taking a deep breath, but I didn't move anymore beyond that. I felt so tired yet I was wide awake. My body was physically tired, but my mind wouldn't let me sleep another second more. My eyes traveled over to the window. The sun was going to rise soon. I sighed, sliding off of the bed. I didn't want to get up but it seemed as though my body was on autopilot again; just more slowly this time. I took a few steps before dropping to my knees with a loud thud. I looked over my shoulder, making sure that I hadn't woken him. I'd pushed my body too far. Abusing the jewel's power like that only added insult to injury. Grabbing onto the bedpost, I shakily stood to my feet. Making my way into the bathroom. I quietly closed the door behind me.

I leaned onto the sink for support; looking up into the mirror. Regretting it after I had done so. I looked like hell. Bags under my eyes. My hair a disheveled mess. I still looked pale, but not as much as before. My eyes the worst. They looked so empty, yet so full of emotion all at the same time. I pried my eyes away from my horrid reflection; trying to focus on anything else. I glanced around at the bathroom. Wooden mahogany floors, creme walls. The tub sat in a little nook below the wide window. I went over to it, turning the water on. I just sat there watching it fill. I felt so... I couldn't even find the words to describe how I felt. What was this? Shock? I had tried to kill a man only a few hours ago. He deserved what happened to him... so why did I feel so; conflicted. I turned off the water, stripping bare. I slipped into the hot water. Letting it ease my aching muscles. All of this was such a mess and I Was feeling so much, but for the first time in my life. I didn't feel the needed to cry. It was all so confusing. Did that make me terrible, insane? Maybe I'd unknowingly taken up after Sesshomaru; ignoring my emotions at the drop of a hat. I pushed the thoughts that plagued me to the back of my mind. Hopefully, they would stay there. I grabbed the soaps shampoo and brush from the bath tray, going to work. Scrubbing my skin and running the brush through my hair after I'd lathered it. I sank under the water, just staying there. Enjoying the feeling of being submerged in the hot water. I closed my eyes; wrapping my arms around myself. This reminded me of the days back in the feudal era. Bathing in the hot springs with Sango. I opened my eyes, seeing a familiar figure standing above the water. I slowly rose from looking him in the eyes. He still looked so exhausted... god, we were all a mess. He was gone yet we had to stay behind and deal with whatever this was. He gingerly held my hand, pulling me from the water, holding me close to him.

"Are you alright?" he whispered.

I returned the hug. "I'm fine Sesshomaru. We both are."

He buried his face into the crook of my neck. "You should have woken me."

"You were tired. You looked like you could use the rest. You let me sleep... so it was my turn to return the favor."

"There is a difference between letting you sleep and having no choice woman."

I laughed, pulling away from him; looking him in the eye, caressing his cheek.

"What about you? Are you okay?"

He averted his eyes from my own. I wouldn't let him off that easy. He had gone through just as much as I had. We'd come too far for him to start reverting now. I took his jaw between my fingers; giving him no choice, but to look at me.

"You can talk to me Sesshomaru," I reassured him.

I let my hand fall to my side. He pressed his forehead to my own.

"I almost lost you... again. I couldn't protect you the way I wanted to. The way that I should have. If it wasn't for the others, who knows Myoga could have done to you... to our child."

"Sesshomaru it is okay."

"No. It is not okay. I should not have to rely on others to keep you safe. You are mine to love and protect. If I cannot protect you, how can I protect our child? I failed you; both of you."

"You did just fine in my eyes. I'm here, aren't I? Who was it that brought me here? You did your part just fine Sesshomaru. I couldn't have asked for anyone to do any better. When I was asleep, I felt this familiar feeling. So warm and gentle. I was in so much pain until that feeling came, and I knew in my heart that it was you. You protected me just fine, and if I had to do it all over again. I would not change a thing. You haven't failed me Sesshomaru. You saved me. You saved us both."

I stared into his eyes as they glossed over. He quickly blinked the almost-tears away. No surprise, he wasn't one to let them fall. He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead.

"What would I do without you?"

"Probably crash and burn," I said, earning me a deep chuckle.

He sighed. "You're pregnant." he'd said, putting a robe around me.

I had forgotten that I was completely naked.

"You seem worried," I said.

"Inuyasha's mother's pregnancy was not an easy one. I should be worried. Right now my happiness is outweighed by fear."

I touched my stomach.

"At least it will be so until I fix it." I heard him say.

I looked up at him. "Fix it how?"

He quickly swept me off my feet, carrying me to the bed. He laid me down, removing his shirt.

I could feel myself blushing. "T-this is how we fix it!? By having sex!?"

"Yes." He said so nonchalantly, crawling on top of me. "This is the most important part."

"How many times?" I asked. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

He closed the distance between us. "As many times as your body requires it."

He laced my fingers with his own.

"R-right here!? With everyone in the house. After what just happened?"

"Now is no time to be shy Kagome and It would be unwise to wait. "

My heart-beat faster with each passing second, as his lips inched to mine. Then, the doorbell rang. _Thank god._

* * *

We all sat in the den. A single man stood by the door, as they cleaned up the _mess _that was outside. _The demon authorities _Sesshomaru called them. Dozens of them were outside. I looked out the window they swarmed the driveway, cleaning up every bit of evidence. I looked at everyone's face. Both of our mothers looked so tired... so broken. Sesshomaru's mother seemed to be torn up more. Not that anyone pain was worse than the other, but she just seemed so fragile right now. I would have to ask Sesshomaru about their connection later. I glanced over to Souta, who looked just as out of place as I did. He looked as though he wasn't really sure how to feel. My mama had caught me staring, giving me a weak smile; one that I returned. Her smile did nothing to hide the pain in her eyes. My head snapped in the direction of the window once again. _Was that... a cow? _I turned my attention to the guard. He stepped aside opening the door. A familiar decrepit walking through the door.

"Quite a mess you have all caused here."

All I could do was stare; my eyes wide and mouth agape. Sesshomaru nudged my arm. My mouth snapped shut as his eyes landed on me.

"Ah Kagome, " he breathed. "So nice to see you again."

"Same to you... Totosai."

He shuffled over to the loveseat by the window.

"Now, why don't you tell me what happened here, from the beginning."

I listened intently as Sesshomaru's mother spoke. I hung on her every word. I could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke about him. Myoga... her mate. How he had gone to her for the mixture that was meant to kill my child. My eyes traveled over to my mama. She was just as shocked as I was, if not more. It seemed as though she was trying to process what she was hearing. I could see how badly she wished for it not to be true. For all of this to be some kind of nightmare. Hoping to wake up soon. To have to sit there and have listen to all of these things about the man you thought you knew. You let someone into your life and give them all of you. Trusting them with what you hold most near and dear; all for it all to go to hell in the worst of ways. I continued to listen, to her, to Sesshomaru and as well as my mama. until it was my time to speak. I explained to him all that I knew; which was not much since I had been asleep for so long. He continued to jot his notes down into his notepad. He stood tucking his notepad inside his jacket pocket.

"Well, it is obvious who was at fault here. What happened here today, was nothing more than family protecting one another, against a monster. I am sorry that you all had to endure such... unnecessary foolishness... some more than others." He looked at everyone. "Well, I hope that you can go back to your everyday lives, and forget what happened here. Even though that may be difficult."

He took a few steps before stopping, in the middle of us; turning to me. "Would you mind following me outside Miss Higurashi? I wish to speak to you. Off the record."

I nodded, but before I could move. Sesshomaru's hand found its way to mine. A concerning look on his face. I kissed the back of his hand.

"I'll be fine. I promise."

I slipped my hand out of his grasp, following after Totosai. We stopped walking once we'd reached the porch. He took a seat on the swing, patting the seat next to him.

I sat down. "What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

He looked over at me. "You and Sesshomaru hmm?"

I looked down at my lap. "Yeah... it just kinda happened."

He chuckled. "I bet Inuyasha is cussing up a storm in the afterlife."

I gave a sad smile. "You're right about that one."

"Listen, I am sorry that this happened to you. To all of you. We were put in place to make sure that things like this didn't happen. To make sure demons didn't get too much of a big head in these modern times. Myoga... he never seemed like someone who would do such a thing. I never knew him to be so..." he sighed, trailing off.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "As his friend, I should have known better. Maybe I could have prevented all fo this."

I ran my fingers through my tresses. "You think you know someone," I whispered. "I don't think this could have been avoided. From what I heard in there. Myoga had made up his mind

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I'm honestly not sure. Maybe I haven't fully processed it yet. Maybe it'll hit me later, or there's a possibility it will never come. Emotions have a funny way of working."

He stood, giving me a sad smile. "Again. I am sorry all of this happened. I hope that you live a life of peace and happiness from now on. The one that you deserve."

He grabbed my hand, placing a light kiss on it.

"Hopefully we never have to meet again under these circumstances," he said as he walked away.

I watched as all the men in black filled into their vans. As for Totosai... his choice of transportation was different. It was Mo Mo. The old bastard had ridden his cow here. He hopped on as if it was nothing and was off, just like that.

"We should be going."

I nearly jumped out of my skin. "What about everyone else?"

"Your brother wishes to return to school, and as for your mother. She said that she would like to stay with my mother for a while longer. I assumed they both have things they would like to discuss."

He held out his hand to me, and I gladly took it.

* * *

I watched as Souta drive off. No doubt he was having a hard time with all of this. He had left only minutes after Sesshomaru and Kagome had. I stared out of the window. Directly at the spot where his body had been. I breathed in sharply, prying my eyes away shutting them tightly. However, that did not help. With my eyes shut like this, I could see him more clearly. As if was laying right in front of me. My breathing quicked... I was hyperventilating. It felt like my chest was caving, finding it harder to breathe every time I exhaled. My head snapped behind me when I'd felt something on her shoulder. It was her... Myoga's mate. It was hard for me to admit, but she looked sadder than I did. My heart ached for her, just as much as it did for myself. She hugged me, rubbing circles on my back. I hug I returned. We wept for the same man... the same monsters. Our heads knew that he was evil, but our hearts said something different. I pulled away from her.

"I love him." I felt so dirty saying that ou loud.

She hung her head in shame. "As do I."

She took my hands into her own. "We'll be okay. No one understands what we're feeling. I will be there for you... so long as you can promise me the same because as of right now I am close to falling apart. Despite how badly I want to stay strong. I just can not. I-"

She couldn't even finish her sentence. She broke out into sobs. This strong powerful demoness reduced to tears. I wrapped my arms around her, holding on tightly.

"I promise to be there for you," I whispered.

We needed each other. I wasn't sure for how long, but I would be here for however long she needed me. At least a beautiful friendship would come from something so tragic and ugly. I sighed, continuing to hold her. Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

I sat on the couch looking over the city. It was my favorite spot to sit in the entire apartment. The twinkling lights of the city were so beautiful; so calming. I needed calm after the day that I'd just had. I had been waiting for Sesshomaru to get out of the shower. I breathed deeply. It was all over. I was home. We were all home and we were going to be a family. It was all over. I felt this pain in my chest, and my lip began to quiver my vision blurring. The tears from my eyes just flowed and flowed. I gripped the quilt, bringing it to my chin. Now, of all time it had to be now. I had to feel this now.

"How could he?" I whispered harshly.

He was supposed to be my father. He was supposed to care for me. Not hurt the people that I care about. I gripped the quilt even tighter. How could he? Didn't he think about what this would have done to everyone!? To me. That selfish bastard. He was dead and gone, but we were still here. We all would have to deal with this wreck that he had left behind. I buried my face into the quilt, quietly sobbing. I could feel my body shaking. I felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around, wet locks clinging to my skin. He was always saving me from myself. I was losing my mind only a matter of moments ago. Yet, being held like this by him, made me feel like everything was going to be alright.

"I don't want to feel like this."

He sighed. "Someone once told me that it is alright to feel. Holding it in will do you no good. I know that better than anyone. It is alright, just let it out."

Once I'd heard the words let it out, I bawled uncontrollably. I cried and he just held me. Whispering reassuring words in my ear. I was so grateful for him, especially at this moment. However long it had taken my tears had finally stopped. We just laid there in silence. I listened to the sound of his heart beating. I sat up, turning to him.

"I love you. I've never said that until now."

He gave me a small smile. "You did not have to tell me what I already knew."

I placed my hands on either side of his face. Inching closer to him, but he stopped me.

"You do not have to do this Kagome, not now. Not because of what I-."

I pressed my thumb to his lips, hushing him.

"I am free to do as I please remember?"

I pressed my lips to his gently; the were so soft. I felt his arms snake around my waist, pulling closer to him. Leaving not an inch of space between us. Being with him like this, made me feel better than I had in these past few days. He pulled his lips away from mine. I whined already missing them. He held me close. Standing he carried me over to the bedroom. He st me down, undressing me. Leaving trails of wet kisses, on my bare skin. It tingled every time his lips touched me. He laid me down. His eyes lidded as they looked over my body. I felt so vulnerable beneath his gaze. I could feel myself blushing again. I tried to cover myself with my arms, but he stopped me.

"Do not hide." He whispered. "Not from me."

I slowly moved my arms away, watching him strip before me. God, was he a sight be marveled. My breathing became heavy. I could hear him inhaling deeply. Locking eyes with him, I could see his amber orbs tinged with red. He came closer; trailing his hot breath over my skin. His lips gently brushing against my nipple. It made me shiver. He locked eye with me once more. Amber had been completely engulfed by red.

"Kagome." He breathed.

He trailed his claw against my thigh. My heart pounded inside my chest. He got on his knees, snaking his arms around my waist placing his face in the crook of my neck. My nipples brushing against his chest. I could feel his tongue trail over the mark. I could feel the wetness beginning to pool between my thighs. I didn't want him to stop. I watched him, leaving kisses from my neck down to my inner thigh. I put my hands on his shoulders. I swallowed hard trying to catch my breath. I had never wanted someone bad in my entire life.

He looked up at me, cupping my face in his hand, bringing me closer to him with the other. He moved his hand, trailing his thumb over my erect nipple. My back arched in response. He leaned over, his large frame towering over me. Looking me in the eyes. They were filled with red, but they were the softest I had ever seen them. He positioned himself at my entrance. Thrusting into me in one quick motion. My legs had locked around his waist. He grabbed me, picking me upright. Thrusting into me from beneath. Deep, long strokes. Sent shivers up my spine with each movement. My eyes were shut tight as I reveled in the pleasure. I moan slipped passed my lips. His mouth latched onto my nipple. My nails digging into his shoulders as I felt his teeth on my nipple. I couldn't think straight. He slid into me deeply, not pulling out.

**"Look at me." **He ordered.

I opened my eyes, staring into his own. He began to thrust again. Picking up the pace this time. Each thrust caused a throaty moan to erupt. I could feel my eyes beginning to close. The pleasure was too much.

**"Close your eyes and I will stop." **He whispered in my ear.

I kept my eyes locked on his own. His hands gripped my thighs as he kept them spread. I gripped the sheets, feeling my climax coming. My skin felt as though electricity danced across it. My breathing hastened and my chest heaved. I looked into the eyes of the man that I loved as he made me feel... better than I ever had. My arms and legs locked around his large frame as he thrust into me. I just held onto him as he made me feel it all. His pace quickened, going deeper and deeper. Until he buried deep within me, emptying his seed. I threw my head back in ecstasy. No loud dramatic scream just hastened breath, as my lung sucked in air. He pulled me close, rolling onto his back.

"Today, " he began. "we begin the rest of our lives together. All three of us. "He said kissing the top of my head.

I smiled into his chest. It was over.. and we were going to fine. No matter what we had to push through. Or, any amount of wreckage left behind. We would always be okay. As long as each had each other, everything would be fine. I was sure of that much. We were lovers scattered across time. That had found their way to one another under the strangest of circumstances. Regardless of how difficult this journey was. He was mine and I was his and this child was ours. Our story had been set in stone. Together or apart... we would always love one another.


	51. I knew we would be alright

**Epilogue**

* * *

Chapter 51: _I knew we would be alright_

* * *

"Mama!"

"Mama!"

I sighed before opening my eyes. To see two very energetic seven year old's staring back at me. It turns out, that back then there wasn't only one bun in my oven but two. Two beautiful boys. The splitting image of their father. It was as though he was the one who had given birth to them himself. The white hair, the crescent moons. Even the same amber-colored eyes. He had boasted for an entire year saying his genes were unmatched. I did not mind I though. They looked like their father, but their heart? The way that they loved those that they cared about, that was all me and that was enough. Full-blooded demon children at that. A miracle the doctors had called it. A miracle that I could not explain, no one could. Sesshomaru was at a loss for word as well once he'd laid eyes on them. We were both expecting hanyou children. This was unheard of. Then again, a Miko and an Inudaiyokai mating were unheard of as well. I sighed, rubbing the last of the last sleep out of my eyes. Sitting up slowly, my hand resting on my round belly. This one had better be a girl. I don't think that I could handle another mini Sesshomaru running around the house. Three was plenty. I would surely catch a stroke if another was added to the bunch.

"Mama!"

"Mama!"

They chimed again simultaneously.

"Yes, Haruhi. Yes, Haruki. What do I owe this very early visit?"

Haruhi grabbed onto my arm. "Do you know what today is mama?"

"Huh do you!?" Haruki chimed in.

How could I forget? They had been reminding me for an entire month; about their birthday. As I could ever forget it.

I tapped my chin. "Hmm, I wonder. Is it Christmas?"

They both gasped, their faces filled with hurt. Well, at least they both took after me when it came to being dramatic.

I put my hands up. "I'm just kidding. How could I forget my special boys' birthdays?"

"We just wanted to make sure you didn't have what uncle Souta was talking about yesterday," Haruki said,

"Yeah, that mom brain stuff. Where you forget everything." Haruhi finished for him.

I would have to remind myself to hit Souta for that later.

"Enough bothering your mother. Go. Find your grandmother. She has gifts for you." He'd said.

"Gifts!?"

"Gifts!?"

With that, they had run right out of the room. I stood on my feet with his help. I looked up at him, smiling sweetly.

"What would I do without you?" I asked.

He gave me a toothy grin. "I believe you would crash and burn."

I laughed. "I wonder where I've heard that before."

I pressed a soft kiss onto his lips. Something I wanted to continue doing, but this child felt the need to interrupt us with its inconvenient kicking.

I sighed, resting my hand on my belly. "This will be the last one right."

He chuckled. "Do not bet on it woman."

I groaned. "How many more times are planning to put a baby in me Sesshomaru?"

He pressed a kiss to my forehead. " I gave you a seven-year gap. Be grateful I held back that long. Besides, we have forever, remember?"

I gazed into his eyes. "I love you."

He smiled. "And I you. Come, we have a birthday party to prepare for. Before Haruhi and Haruki drag us out of here."

* * *

I smiled, basking in the warm sun. Watching as the twins run and play with their school mates. Sesshomaru stood like some guard dog watching over them. It warmed my heart. He was an amazing father. I wonder what the Sesshomaru of the feudal era would say if I told him how he would turn out. I laughed to myself; he probably would've mauled me. Since that day, everything has been so peaceful. Mama started dating again; a human man this time. She'd sworn off demon men after everything had happened. Souta was not so little anymore. He had found this wonderful demoness by the name Airi. They've been together for about two years now, and he works at the company with Sesshomaru and Kouga. So, I'd say life has been treating him well. Speaking of Kouga, I didn't mean to assume, but I'm pretty sure there was something going on between him and Kimi. I had been so in my thoughts I hadn't even realized Sesshomaru sitting next to me.

"The boys seem to be doing fine."

I laughed. "Of course they are. Seeing as you haven't taken your eyes off of them since they were born."

He put his arm around my shoulder; sighed leaning into him.

"Hey, do you think there's something going on between Kimi and Kouga?"

"There is," he said nonchalantly.

I sat up straight. "How long have you known!?"

"For a while. They are terrible at hiding things"

I smiled. "You don't seem so happy about that."

He grimaced. "Would anyone? Better he is with her, than pine after you." He'd said.

"Throwing your mother to the wolves? Very old Sesshomaru of you" I said, pun intended.

He side-eyed me. "Your _jokes _have become worse with age Kagome."

I smiled. "Maybe it's not that serious, maybe she just wants someone to play with."

He put his hand up. "Kagome, please stop. That is not something I wish to imagine."

"What if they get married and he calls you son!?"

"I'm leaving."

He stood walking away and I chased after him. As much as my pregnant belly would allow. He would let me catch up to him, just enough to let me think I had one. Just to evade me at the last second. He laughed at my lack of hand to eye coordination. This man, this family; I couldn't possibly ask for anything more. Just the thought of them made my heart swell so much, that it'd almost burst. This is what I've always wanted; love, a family. I couldn't ask for anything more. I smiled. It may have taken a while, but I knew we would be alright.


End file.
